There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 187,881,946 Issue: 520 | 11th day of Storing, Y13
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Top 20 Useless Neopian School Supplies - Part 2


by darkobsession

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In a previous article, I wanted to list the top 10 most useless Neopian School supply items, but after browsing through all the items that shop has in stock (and some of the items that were offered with codes,) I noticed that 10 is not enough at all. That's why I opted for 20 items and divided the list into two parts so I won't overwhelm the Neopian Times readers.

So, if you thought the first ten items were not intimidating enough, you haven't seen anything yet. Just scroll down and check out the following list. It might make you hate stationery forever, he he. ;)

11. Meepit Sticker

This item's description reads: Be careful, he bites. YES! Even the sticker...

Meepits are scary. Point. In any shape or form, they are sure to send your classmates scattering everywhere. So unless you're an anti-social person, or a brain-washed slave robot built especially for facilitating the Meepit World Domination, you're better off without this on your books or notepads.

12. Metal Folder

Ah! What's so special about this anyway? It might be sturdy, but at the same time it's heavy, unappealing, and very rough around the edges, to the degree that if you're not careful enough, you'll cut your fingers on them. The only reason to buy this is if you own a fire clipboard that you don't want burning your documents. But that just makes it a double-trouble, doesn't it?

13. MSPP Notepad

MSPP might not be as devious as the Meepit, but it's equally freaky and scary. Meepits are dangerously cute, and that's their secret, but the MSPP is straight-forward evil; and I'm talking nightmare material. With its ever-constant grinning face, you will soon find yourself unable to move your gaze away. After that, you'll start sporting that very same grin yourself, and it's not too strange if your eyes turned red, and your body started growing stitches and your insides turn into stuffing. Next thing you know, you're on one of those notepads yourself, transforming another innocent victim.

14. Punchbag Sid Backpack

While there's nothing wrong with this item itself, it is just a replica of Punchbag Sid, who is Bob's bad twin. He's not evil, he's just misunderstood. However, it's included in this list because of the potential hazard it has on its owner/wearer. Unfortunately, the company who made this backpack made it very life-like. While this is a good thing quality-wise, it is bad, real bad. Most people don't know who Sid is, but they know fighting him in the Battledome gives them a very rare and sought-after avatar. It's a once-a-year opportunity or so, but wearing this backpack to school might confuse people who see it from afar, leading them to think it's the real Sid, thus attacking or tackling YOU from behind. Hundreds of angry Neopians, once they realize their mistake, will attack you again, this time out of revenge for tricking them. My advice: only wear this to school if you have full body armor.

15. Sloth School Supplies

WHAT? HOW DARE YOU? THESE ARE AWEOME! BUY THIS!! RIGHT NOW!! I COMMAND YOUUUU!!

Sorry about the confusion. This was my little brother. He is just a witless Sloth minion.

Moving on...

This one is in-your-face obvious. Any item featuring the infamous Dr. Sloth will automatically label you as a chickenhead – desperate for attention – megalomaniac – loser – bully.

OR just buy the Sloth ruler and use it to slime everyone's lunch, or a Sloth stamp to print on that loner kid's forehead, then point at them and laugh.

(Grrr, again my little brother taking over the keyboard)

SlothSlothSlothSloththisissSlothapprovedSlothSlothSloth

Ah good, he tired himself out... DON'T buy those. On to the next item on our list.

16. Snot Pen and Snotty Pen

Once again I fail to see the logic behind these two items. Or why there are two of them to begin with. What's the difference between them? I guess one is made out of snot, and the other runs on it. Either way, they're gross! They even make the inky pen look good in comparison. They make anything else look good in comparison. However, a kid with poor hygiene might find these useful as he'll never run out of "ink", but the problem is he's so busy picking his nose that he forgets to write anything in class.

17. Super amazing Strong Glue

This super strong glue doesn't look too bad, does it? But to me it only spells trouble. While I admit it's reliable, it's probably TOO reliable. Its makers claim that one drop is guaranteed to lift an Elephante. And that's all it contains, one drop of glue. It requires a great deal of focus and concentration, so if you mess up, there's no fixing the mistake. You're glued for life (hopefully not to an Elephante). The ironic thing is that there is no glue remover available for sale.

18. Tatty Pencil

Some people are superstitious types, and they keep using the same pencil over and over again. And some people are the nervous type, and they chew right through it. Then you have those who do both, and when they're done and the pencil is no longer usable, they try to sell it to you. Don't buy this, even for as little as 50 NP; it belongs to the Meridell dump.

19. Tyrannian Rock Eraser

What can I say about this one? It's an eraser that is a rock that's an eraser. It's just a rock, actually. And they're trying to pass it off as an eraser. Using this to erase what you wrote will get rid of a few chunks of your paper (funny, this is the first time where Rock beats Paper), so it's only usable when you're writing something you want no one else to see. But that's what invisible ink is made for, right? Also, why pay money when you can just pick one up off the ground and use it?

20. Wobbly Pen

Keeping the best for last. Even they confess it: "It wobbles as it writes, how useless!" Which is such a shame; because it looks pretty and has a nice design. How did it come to be so useless? My best guess is that it fell into a container of jelly during the invention process; that's why it's wobbly. If you buy this, you'll fail all your assignments and exams, but you'll have hours of fun wobbling in circles and confusing everyone with your incomprehensible hand-writing.

(\/\\\/))((/\/\\\/)()))(\ Oops – sorry... I couldn't resist trying it out.

Anyway, this brings us to the end of this list. There you have it, folks. Twenty School Supply items you'll never use. You are still free to buy them, of course. After all, what fun is Neopia without all those wacky items?

Until later, I bid you good-bye, and I wish you an amazing and successful new School year.

 
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