There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 187,548,790 Issue: 518 | 28th day of Collecting, Y13
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Halloween Candy for the Budgeting and the Wealthy


by waterglide

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Note: All of the reviews stated afterwards are purely fictitious. Do not regard them as anything but a mere story. The candies mentioned do not have real taste, and do not come in amounts of the number listed.

Yes, it's that time of the year again! A time of witches and wizards, ghosts and zombies, and pumpkins and candy. If you're a Neopian youngster, you're probably looking forward to dressing up as your idol, Von Roo, and walking around your neighborhood trick-or-treating. However, for the rest of us, Halloween just isn't as fun as it used to be. In fact, the worst possible thing to happen to us is for a little neopet to walk up to our door and for us not to have any candy for them. Now, if you're cold hearted like me, that shouldn't be much of a problem; however, for the warm and gentle creatures in Neopia, it would just break their hearts. But if you do try to satisfy each and every one of them, you won't have any neopoints to spend for the next month!

However, if you don't want to be the sucker at the end of the street dumping omelettes and imaginary jelly into neopets' bags, here is a list of candies that neopets absolutely love! Not to mention, they won't break the bank! That would make everyone happy!

Oukin Lolly

When it gets this cheap, it's hard to believe it's edible! Yes! It's the Oukin Lolly! Handed out by Petpet Park by the truckloads, this lolly can come at prices as low as one neopoint each! What a steal! However, when I tried one, I had to admit, it didn't taste quite as good as the sweet deliciousness that is negg, but it tasted pretty good for its price. Its lime flavor wasn't that great, and was too sweet overall. However, when I handed it out to the youngsters last year, they didn't care. The sight of them walking away enjoying their lollies warmed my hearts.

Then, I got back to listening to the monologues of Dr. Sloth.

Box of Meowclops Treats

This is a personal favorite of mine. The box of Meowclops treats comes with an assortment of candies, from small gumdrops, to finely crafted truffles. Every little candy is individually wrapped, which makes opening each one of them a surprise.

The box itself is cutely shaped like an orange Meowclops, which the young neopets just adore! It comes at prices around 30 neopoints, so it isn't as cheap as the Oukin lolly, but it 30 times as enjoyable!

Tombstone Chocolate

This is a wonderful treat to give out every year, because it goes great with the season. The Tombstone Chocolate is shaped like a tombstone, and is made of dark and mint chocolate. It tastes phenomenal, and with that big of a chocolate, you'll be munching on it for hours. Unfortunately, it costs 100 neopoints, and giving out that many a year can be tough for scrooges like me. It is just perfect to give to the kiddies, though. They just love it because of its Halloween-ness. Unlike other Halloween candy, it ISN'T made of unusual petpet organs.

Pink Neopets 7th Birthday Hard Candy

I personally despise this candy, but it is a favorite among a lot of kids in my neighborhood, so I decided to feature it. Yes, it's an old candy from year 7, which is very popular among young neopets and teenage female neopets alike. It is in a bland cotton candy flavor that is unbearably sweet, and tastes like advertised. It is from year 7, so if you want a candy that is several years old, and tastes stale, then it's got you covered. It rolls in at around 50 neopoints.

Chocolate Draik Lollypop

This is one of the best candies out there. By far. It tastes like a chunk of Faerieland's former clouds, and it is handcrafted by Draiks in Meridell. It is made from the finest pieces of chocolate found in the jungles of Geraptiku, and it is smelted in the fire that powers all of Moltara. It is the amazing Chocolate Draik Lollypop. When I first saw one, I instantly fell in love. It looks so intricate, and it tastes like custard and butterscotch. You can only get a hint of the chocolate so that it doesn't overpower, but also so that it is strong enough to compliment the other flavors. It isn't that expensive, however, coming in at around 100 neopoints, which surprises me immensely. You may order in about 2 dozen to have around for the neighborhood youngsters, but order another 3 dozen, because you probably can't stand in the same room as those and not be able to finish them.

Spyder Lolly

This is quite a nice lolly. It isn't as good as the previous one, but it is still quite nice. It is a wonderful tangy berry flavor that fills your mouth with joy for several hours, because this sugar was smelted in magma several times to give it that consistency. The little eyes are small gumdrops, and they are each of a nice cherry flavor. However, it isn't that well built of a candy. It tastes great, but it lacks pizzazz. The stick is a standard thin plastic tube, it is a bit too hard to bite, and it just lacks the craftsmanship and the pride that the Draik lolly has. However, at 250 neopoints a pop, it doesn't come cheap at all. I'd choose it because it goes great with the Halloween theme, and that it tastes pretty good for something in its price range, but the young neopets, just like me, don't seem to get the point of it.

Blueberry Jelly Beans

These jellybeans are quite nice, even though they are just made out of condensed fruit juices, not jelly. They have a decent blueberry flavor, and they come in different shades of blue. They have a nice crunchy exterior, and a soft interior, filled with condensed fruit juices, but they seem a bit too healthy. It has no preservatives, no artificial sweeteners, and absolutely no artificial flavors, and is made of real fruit juice. What bugs me is that it is Halloween, and you're supposed to rot your teeth, and make your dentist rich over the next few weeks, not to have a healthy fruity snack. However, each bag comes with 100 jellybeans, each at 100 neopoints a bag, so it will satisfy your neighborhood neopets and your bank, but it won't satisfy you... Or the dentist, for that matter.

Gold Chocolate Coins

These are very nice. This chocolate is also imported from Geraptiku, and is handcrafted, just like the Draik lolly, but unlike the Draik Lolly, it costs over 1,000 neopoints, which is tough for your wallet. However, there is a silver lining. For 1,000 neopoints, you get a 10-coin bag, and you could distribute them at about 100 neopoints a neopet, which isn't too bad. When I tried the chocolate, it tasted wonderful. It had a gentle melt-in-your-mouth taste, and it made all of Neopia spin around me. It was simply wonderful. If you want, it also comes with a caramel center, and with nuts. I tried both of those too, and they tasted even better than I expected. They just make you feel like you're on top of Neopia, and that nothing else mattered. Then, I got back to reality and continued restocking.

Now, there are many Neopians who aren't afraid to spend. If you're one of them, I highly suggest you stop and save up for something nice. It will make you feel better later. However, some can spend money without a second thought. If you're one of those people who sit on solid gold chairs and can afford Platinum neopoints instead of the crummy gold ones, then I applaud you. For you people, I have made a list of candies that I would recommend you to give each year at Halloween.

Juppiemint Bar

This is a very nice candy bar. It contains real Golden Juppie and a hint of peppermint all dipped several times in the most exotic of dark chocolates. It is only available at the Neopian Chocolate Factory, and it is a gourmet food, which would just make the neopets' parents happier. It is also a bit healthy, but don't let that fool you. Despite its healthiness, I approve of it, because of its unbelievable taste and its wealthy feel. It's hard to compare. However, it was released in 2001, so it may not look as good as it could, but remember, don't judge a book by its cover. Judge it by its title.

Mynci Box of Candy

It is quite a nice assortment of candy. I, for one, quite enjoy it. It has several bits of snacks that last for quite a while if you make an effort to enjoy them. There are several things I don't like about them. For one, they are hard to get. Secondly, they are all the same, and that makes it quite bland, if you ask me. Lastly, it lacks the attention it deserves at that price. I had an opportunity to try one out the other day, and it seemed good. The caramel candy bits are quite nice and quite well done. I would recommend it, but it just lacks the thing that makes it different. However, the young neopets just love to play around with the dispenser after it is empty. It really looks nice, and is made from metal forged in the fires of Moltara, but if that was all I was paying 20,000 neopoints for, I would look elsewhere. Not to mention, the box is shaped like a heart. Wrong holiday.

Red Scorchio Lollypop

This is the best piece of candy that can be bought for less than 100,000 neopoints. It costs just under that, and is the best cherry lollypop in the history of natural flavors. I would highly recommend it if you have the money to afford it. One of my friends got one for me after his visit to Shenkuu, because I would never be able to afford it otherwise. It is the best lollypop I've ever tasted. The cherry flavor is usually one of my least favorite flavors, but in this case, it has been so masterfully applied, that you can't help but love it. It is hard to buy many of these and give these away, considering that you probably live in a solid gold house to be able to afford this. This lollypop controls all of your taste buds at once, taking control of them and harmonizing them. It is impossible not to love this. I highly recommend you try one in your neo-life.

Chocolate Maractite Coins

This is the second best chocolate in the world, second only to the chocoon. This is almost impossible to find, being sold only by the Chocolate Factory once in a blue moon. If you do ever get your hands on this, beware, because it tastes like you're eating the real chocolate factory. It is made of the finest mint leaves, grown by the master gardener of the world, the Neopets Garden Storekeeper. He only gives them out to the Kiko Chocolateer himself, handcrafting it only on special occasions. It has been feasted upon by all the royalty of Neopia, even King Kelpbeard. I myself have only come across one in my life, and that was one for beating King Kelpbeard in a Limbo Contest. I thought it was disgusting at first, being underwater and all, but then I realized what it was. I immediately bit into it and tasted the marvelous chocolate that had an aura to it that always made it have a buttery feel. The mint is so cool upon your taste buds, and the essence is so strong, that I even grabbed my jacket. Needless to say, it was simply amazing. If you ever come across more than a dozen of these, I doubt you'll be able to eat them all, so why don't you give them out at your house this year for Halloween? It is sure to make you the talk of the town.

So there you go, some perfect treats that are sure to bring delight to your heart, and to the people who receive them. No matter how you try, you won't be able to give them all away, so try to give in to your temptation. I'm sure it will make you happier. Just remember, Halloween is for everyone, not just for them.

 
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