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Princess Fernypoo: Behind the Glitz and Glam

by stipey33


This tale begins in a far off land, maybe Meridell or Brightvale. I can’t tell you, because that’s personal information. Also, this next interview subject might have guards. Well, the interviewer happens to be me, Koteey. I’ve reported for the Neopian Times before, but I’m still new at this. Who knows what might happen! Anyway, I hope that Princess Fernypoo... *sighs*.

I wasn’t supposed to tell you who it is, but since I have, I might as well tell you how I stumbled upon Her Majesty. You see, I was hoping just for a decent game of Cheat!, not expecting to go very far at all in the game, but to my dismay... I made it far enough in the tournament to get the opportunity to beat, er, meet her. So here it is my first interview with Neopian royalty! But beware, this IS behind all the glitz and glam... per se a heart-to-heart chat.


Hi, it’s Koteey, reporting to you from the, shall I say, lobby of Princess Fernypoo’s home. Let’s hope I’m on time. Anyway, being a good reporter, I did my research on Fernypoo before I came. That’s how I know that she happens to have a very bad temper, and if she gets mad at me for being late, it might ruin my whole interview!

Ah, here she comes now. She looks great today, wearing her usual attire. The pink dress with lace ruffles, and her ever so sparkly crown perched precariously atop her perfectly groomed fur. I’m so excited right now, so you sit back and enjoy... the real Princess Fernypoo.


Me: Hello, Princess Fernypoo, what an honor and a pleasure to finally get to meet you!

Fernypoo: *laughs* Pleasure to meet you too, Koteey. And please, just drop the Princess; it’ll make this interview much more comfortable for the both of us.

Me: Of course. So let’s get down to business. First question that many of us have been wondering, where did you get your fabulous dress?

Fernypoo: Oh, this old thing? My daddy had it custom made for me! Isn’t he wonderful?

Me: Absolutely fab! Have you considered getting more copies like it made, so that your adoring fan club can dress like you too?

Fernypoo: My, what a great idea! I’ll have to talk to my publicist; anything for my lovely, lovely fans.

Me: One moment please, I have to write your answers down.

Fernypoo: Sure.

*She turns to the door and calls for her butler*

Fernypoo: Could you bring some tea please? I’ll have Strawberry Spice Tea. What would you like, Koteey?

Me: I’ll have some Blairnut Tea, please. Thank you. So, how much, exactly, do your fans mean to you?

Fernypoo: The entire Neopian universe, of course! What a silly question.

Me: Good to know. While we wait for tea, how about we talk about something more serious... say, let’s talk about your huge career as a Cheat! player.

Fernypoo: How could I forget! I am a great player, thank you very much, been playing for as long as I can remember. My father originally showed me how to play, taught me the basics.

*She grins*

But everything else, I taught myself. And don’t forget that in the article. It’s very important that people know. So they don’t think that I’m that spoiled, that I get my own Cheat! lessons.

Me: Ok.

Fernypoo: I’m yet to beat Spectre, though I will soon.

*She cackles, resembling Jhudora’s laugh*

Me: What throne would you rather take?

Fernypoo: What do you mean by that?

Me: Would you rather have the throne, of being ruler of Neopia? Or be the ruling Cheat! player?

Fernypoo: Oh, tough choice. I’ll – Oh, goody! Our tea has arrived.

*Takes her cup of tea*

Fernypoo: I just love the cup it comes in! Don’t you?

Me: So cute! Let’s not get sidetracked.

Fernypoo: Right, that’s the same problem I have when I play Cheat! I get distracted easily. Let me think about that, while I drink my tea, I’ll get back to you on that. Next question.

Me: Right. So, where were we?

Fernypoo: My fans.

*I take a sip of my tea*

Me: Delicious tea, if I do say so myself!

Fernypoo: Why, thank you, thank you very much.

Me: Fernypoo, that wasn’t really directed to you.

Fernypoo: *sends me a sharp look* I’m sorry, did you say something?

Me: Nothing, nothing at all. Sorry about that, your fans... they mean the whole of Neopia to you? Don’t you find that they get a slight bit, how do I state this politely... annoying?

Fernypoo: Between me and you, YES! Of course, the entire fan mail, and gifts thing... The Post Office must get really busy, so many stamps! But, at least people know about me, after all, I am the heiress to the throne.

Me: Mmm. Back to clothing, where do you shop? And what do you wear when you’re not in public. Like, say, just with friends or family?

Fernypoo: I shop at the Unis Clothing store of course. I once stopped in at Prigpants & Swolthy, Tailors. But it’s not really my style. Do you know the place?

Me: Yes, yes. I believe it’s the one down by the Gypsy Camp, at the Haunted Woods?

Fernypoo: That’s the one. Daddy once bought some wearables there. He looked dapper, just dapper.

Me: I’m not surprised. The attire there is quite appropriate for major events. I just bought myself a Fancy Pink Gown, and a Pink Sun Hat to complete the look!

Fernypoo: I see, isn’t that what you’re wearing now?

*I nod my head*

Fernypoo: Very formal.

Me: Thanks.

*Beaming, because I just got complimented by the Princess Fernypoo*

Me: Now, do you have an answer to the throne question?

*She places her tea cup down*

Fernypoo: *sighs* No... I’m not sure. You see, Cheat! is where my heart lies, it’s my true passion. But we can’t have Dr. Sloth –

*Looks suspiciously around the room*

Fernypoo: *lowers voice to a whisper* Take over Neopia; we need a decent ruler, like me. Or... yes, like me. Maybe next time you come for a visit I’ll know. But –

Butler: Excuse me, Miss Fernypoo; it’s time for your appointment with the royal dresser.

Fernypoo: Right! It was great chatting, but I really have to run. Bye!

Me: Thank you, and bye! See you soon.


There you have it, that’s the interview, un-edited. Which probably isn’t good, because she did ask for certain parts to be left out... Hmm, just skip those parts. Thanks for reading!

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