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Meepits and Feepits and Splatting Sock Sloths


by rs_rbn

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The riskiest game trophies, why you should go for them, how to go for them, and the possible side effects you may face.

Some flash games are ultra popular. Let’s be honest... most of the games that are popular are because they:

A. Have an Avatar attached to them (See Feed Florg)

B. Are super easy to earn 1000 NP from (See Kass Basher)

C. Are fun to play (See Hasee Bounce)

But what about getting game trophies? How do you decide what game trophy you’re going to go for? Do you check out your neofriends' user lookups to see which trophies they have? Do you check petpages and other guides for what could be quick and easy trophies? Do you search through the list of flash games, hoping to find the perfect game for you, the one that fits you like a glove, the one that you excel at without even practicing?

If you take a look at my user lookup, you will find very few flash game trophies. I do proudly sport a few, though. And the ones I’d like to talk about today are: Meepit Vs. Feepit and Splat a Sloth.

Now, normally, I am not a Top 20 gamer. Ok, it gets even uglier. I’m not even a Top 50 gamer. At least not on the ones where you need to be in the Top 50 to get an avatar, but let’s not go there.

If I’m so terrible at flash games, then how did I get these two game trophies? And not at the first of the month (though certainly not at the end either)?

It’s because I have successfully achieved trophies in two of the most obnoxious and tedious flash games out there. (At this point I considered mentioning the new game S.M.E.L.T. but that’s another rant *cough* article for another day.)

Meepit Vs. Feepit - in my opinion the most tedious game you could possibly play on Neopets. If you don’t have this avatar yet, you have some shame coming your way, because a five year old could get it.

Here’s how you play:

Stage 1 - Round 1:

You/Feepit: “XZXZX... PUNCH” and “XZXZX... Punch” and then “XZXZX... PUNCH” and again “XZXZX... Punch” then once more for good measure, you “XZXZX... PUNCH”. Then you wait. You have successfully gotten your opponent down to the lowest HP you can before you would win. And now what do you do? You LOSE.

Meepit: *huddles down* “You’re a little too close, Mr. Feepit, Sir.”

You/Feepit: *back away slowly*

Meepit: *stands* *huddles* *stands* *huddles* “I can’t decide if I’m ready to hit you yet.” *stands* *huddles* “Are you going to move? Are you going to hit me?”

You/Feepit: *flips open a new Neopets tab on your browser* “I’m sorry, did you say something? I’m waiting for you to kill me. Free. Go on. Get on with it.”

Meepit: *stands* *waits* *hits* “I did it!” *huddles* *waits* *stands* *huddles* *hits*

-This goes on for some time, whilst you do other things. Twiddle your thumbs. Sing a song. Write a novel. -

Meepit: *hit* *Other meepits come rushing on the screen* “OMG WE WON WE WON! MEEPITS PWN EVERYTHING!!!`1!!12`!!1”

You/Feepit: Repeat for Stage 1-Round 2.

You/Feepit: Win Stage 1-Rounds 3-5.

You/Feepit: Repeat in Stages 1-5. Hours later, you have over 3700 points and a shiny new trophy for your user lookup.

See why it’s so easy to get this trophy? Who in their right mind wants to spend all that time playing such a tedious game? *sighs and pokes self*

Granted - Feepits are very cute.

Granted - Meepits need to be destroyed. *shifty eyes*

Granted - I like having trophies. Very shiny. @_@

But once I go for the Gold trophy, I’ll be honest. I’m never playing that game again.

And what about Splat a Sloth? This has got to be the most humiliating game one could possibly play. Why?

First I’ll walk you through how to earn a score of 500. You need to hit the spacebar.

That’s about it.

Some people will tell you to harness your inner Grundo in order to hit the sock Sloth or to close your eyes and feel when you should hit the sock Sloth. I will tell you to base it solely on probability.

If you hit the spacebar the moment the game is ready to be played, you will eventually hit the sock Sloth perfectly. Eventually being the key word here. But if you are consistent and hit at the same time, statistically speaking, you will eventually hit the sock Sloth at exactly the right time.

Here’s the downside. Every time you try to Splat the Sloth but miss him, Dr. Sloth will emit his deep, cackling, bone-chilling laughter. The faster you play, the more times his laughter multiplies until it is the only reality, it is everything that surrounds you, the walls begin to close in around you, the world drizzles away, the laughter expounds, it swells, it grows, it chokes, it torments, it swallows... it IS.

Muahahahahah... MUAHAHAHAHA... Muahahahaha.... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH....

*covers ears, cowers, and cries a little* Breathe in, breathe out. It’s not real. Dr. Sloth is a pixel, Dr. Sloth is a pixel... Dr. Sloth is a pickle?

*opens eyes* Oh, you’re still here. For a minute there, I almost lost it. *ahem*

Anyway, you get the idea. Playing Splat a Sloth is at your own risk - you determine how much humiliation you can put up with for a stinking bronze trophy. *grumbles*

The moment you are ready to surrender your time, your energy, your time, your pride, and your sanity, considering striving for one of these two trophies: Meepit Vs. Feepit or Splat a Sloth.

Trust me, it is not worth it.

Final Notes and Disclaimers:

I am not responsible for the years of therapy you may encounter if you go for these particular game trophies.

Also Note - you are always welcome to turn the sound off when playing Splat a Sloth, but you will need to mute your whole system. Dr. Sloth does nothing if he doesn't overdo it.

 
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