Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 185,576,530 Issue: 499 | 17th day of Relaxing, Y13
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

How To Amass Minions, Erm… Neofriends!

by sarmay77


Also by gwendarwen

Lyk OMG Sloth tuk al ma nfs!111

Hello there! Are you feeling a little lonely in your neo-journeys? Are you looking for someone to share your triumphs, wallow in despair with you over nasty random events? Someone to share tips and tricks with? Or maybe you’re looking to have the most neofriends in all of Neopia! No matter what your reasons, gathering neofriends can be a very rewarding experience, if a little daunting at first.

So often, it seems like everyone on the neoboards knows each other except for you! It can be a little intimidating to just jump right in and be one of the crowd if you’re not the most outgoing person. Well, we’re here to help. After reading this, you will be ready to go out there and find some wonderful new neofriends!

Some Rules are NOT made to be broken!

First and foremost, everything we do on Neopets, including chatting on the boards, MUST adhere to the Terms and Conditions! So now, we'd like you all to grab your printouts of the T&C, as it is affectionately called, and turn to page... What? You DON'T have a printout handy? Well, have no fear, because it is easily accessible at

Does that look familiar? Well, it should! If you’ve never read through the T&C, take this opportunity to do so! And even if you have, it might be a good idea to glance through it to make sure you understand everything there, and to see any changes that may have been put into effect. (We promise the boring stuff will all be over soon, and it’s hurting us much more than it hurts you!)

In addition to the T&C, all neoboard activity must adhere to the Rules that are accessed through a link on the neoboard pages. And guess what the link is called? That’s right, Rules! See? Right up there at the top of the pages? Rules! Give it a click, and it magically transports you to a land of... Ahem. It will transport you to a page that lays it all on the line.

We won’t go into detail on these rules, because they are pretty self-explanatory. Now, you’re ready to go out there and meet and greet, right? No! Not quite! You wouldn’t send your neopet off to see the Faerie Queen with a dirty face, would you? Of course not! Well, we aren’t going to send you off without you being ready to put your best foot forward, either.

Those usernames have real people behind them.

It’s true. Those messages all over the boards are not randomly created by some machine. They are the thoughts and words of real people, with real feelings! Even if you don’t agree with the poster, there is no excuse for behaving badly toward them. In fact, we urge you to avoid responding at all if you don’t think you can say it nicely! How will this help you gain neofriends? Well, it’s simple. When you act responsibly and courteously, people want to keep chatting with you! If you present yourself as a kind Neopian, you will soon find your neofriend list full of other kind Neopians.

UR So kewl can I has ur nps????

First off, if you are looking for neofriends in order to boost your bank account, think again! Nobody wants a neofriend who is always begging. While there are times that you might ask your neofriends for a hand, such as if you are featured in the Caption Contest, you might send your friend a neomail letting them know so that they can check it out and maybe even vote for you, they are not there to play the game for you and earn nps just for you!

Secondly, chatspeak is fine, but please remember that not everybody can decode it! There are many people out there who are not native speakers of that particular language. For that matter, English itself isn’t a first language for many Neopians! So, just keep that in mind, and don’t feel offended if your chatspeak goes unanswered.

Reported. -.-

Okay, people. PUT... THE... MOUSE... DOWN.

Before you click to report a message, THINK! Is it really report-worthy? If you falsely report others too often, you run the risk of being silenced by TNT. And if you are silenced by TNT, you certainly can’t make any new neofriends! So, does the post laugh in the face of the T&C? Is the post in some way very offensive to you? If so, go ahead and report it. But you only need to report it ONE time. And is it really necessary to tell the poster that you reported them? Probably not. All you are succeeding in doing is bumping their board with their post back to the top of the page, where it will get even more attention, which is what they probably wanted to begin with. No, best to let it be. And on that note...

Know when to walk away, and know when to RUN!!!!

Did your mother ever tell you that if you don’t have anything nice to say, say whatever comes to mind anyway? No? Well, our mothers didn’t say that, either. They told us not to say anything at all. (They also said it was better to keep your mouth closed and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt, but that’s another topic altogether.) So why is it so difficult to walk away sometimes?

Well, for one thing, seeing that post that you just do not agree with and can’t stop thinking about up there on the screen lends it some sort of validity that can just rub us the wrong way. How do you fix that? Do you spend the next two hours in a back and forth volley of words? No! Get off that page! Sometimes it’s better to just let it be. It’s difficult, but it’s for the best! (Pokes previous section.)

Like attracts like.

While it’s true that opposites often attract, it’s also true that it’s much easier to get along with people who have similar interests. So, what does that mean for you? Well, take a moment and think of your most favorite activity in all of Neopia.

No, really, think of it right now.


Did you think of it yet? Why not?


How about now? Got it? Good! Guess what? There’s a chat board for you! Maybe your favorite activity is the most current site event. In that case, there’s a board dedicated to it! Maybe it’s playing games. There’s a board for that! Maybe you want nothing more than to help other Neopians on their journeys. There’s a board for that! So, go check out your board! There are often chat groups that keep threads going, so take a few minutes to peruse the boards and find the chatters that appeal to you most, then hop right in! If you feel you’re being ignored, don’t take offense, just keep on trying. Sometimes when people are caught up in conversation, it’s hard to get a word in edgewise, but keep on trying, and you’ll get a response.

Let’s just try to get along, people!

We suppose that’s pretty much the whole point. Of everything, really. What’s the sense in arguing and complaining? There isn’t any sense in it! Let’s just try to work things out and enjoy our time in Neopia! If we don’t succeed, well, let’s just say we’ve heard some rumours that our pets are planning a takeover...

Green Kacheek: Drat! They’re on to us!

Faerie Draik: What do we do? Should we scrap the mission?

Sloth: No, my minions... we wait.

Green Kacheek: Yes, after all, Neopets without the pets is only Neo. Neopets without the owners is the future...

All: Muhahahaha!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Shades and Hues 27
Meet the Family pt. 8/11 – The flaw of Novus's and Evodon's separation.

by mstr_dark


The Guild Rivalry
If you're a guild owner, be sure to give you guild members pie. :)

by skittyfan100


Brain Candy Mix! Things that make you go Ewww!

by tweakley


Free what..? Instant friendship!

by blublah81

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.