Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 164,193,660 Issue: 179 | 25th day of Awakening, Y7
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Far-Fetched Friends

by poody_bear


By: urangelbaby_6003 & poody_bear

GrrArg208 Speaking - Ruffeio Speaking

A long, long time ago…It wasn’t that long ago.…in a galaxy far, far away…It wasn’t that far away.

Do you want to tell the story, or can I continue?

Well if you’re going to tell our story, at least tell it right. It couldn’t have been THAT long ago since you are only a year and a half old and a “galaxy far, far away?” Please, we live in Neopia and we have always lived in Neopia. Besides are there really galaxies out there? I mean we don’t even know what’s on the other side of our planet let alone if there is anything out there in the “Great Beyond.” Well, besides our moon and space station anyways.

It’s called literary license Ruffeio. I can overstate a little, can’t I?

Fine, but if pets come complaining that the story is too ridiculous to believe expect me to tell you I told you so.

Don’t worry about it everyone will believe the story because it will be 100% the truth.

Now as I was saying…

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there lived a Kougra. Not just any Kougra but a strong, courageous, and quite handsome…

Oh please, more literary license I suppose huh?

…Kougra named GrrArg208. It started out like any other day in GrrArg208’s home located in Aipoen…

Now that doesn’t sound anything like our true home town of Neopia, only spelled backwards.

…He woke up very early to see the sunrise on his favorite hill, high over his hometown, but something had happened in the night and the sun was permanently stopped from coming up. The young Kougra noticed a large space ship coming his way…

Let me guess Dr. Sloth is attacking your world of “Aipoen?”

…You won’t believe what he saw when the space ship landed.

It was none other than Dr. Sloth himself along with hundreds of his mutant Grundo army. GrrArg208 knew he had to do something since everyone else in his hometown was still sleeping, so he took off running in the direction of the landing site. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but being the heroic Kougra that he was, he knew that once he got there he would have thought of a plan.

Unfortunately for our fearless wonder when he arrived at the space ship landing site he hadn’t thought of anything that would prevent the oncoming siege. He decided to walk the perimeter and see if there were any weak spots in the guarding of the space ship. As he had just about reached the halfway point of his journey he tripped over a ball in the ground.

“What in Aipoen is this?” pondered GrrArg208 as he leaned over to investigate what he tripped on.

“Please don’t hurt me. I promise I didn’t do whatever it is you think I did,” whined the unknown object.

“I’m not going to hurt you, but who are you and what are you doing curled up on the ground?” questioned the Kougra.

“My name is Ruffeio and I was hiding from the scary creatures that just landed on top of my home,” said the red Eyrie that looked as if he was trying not to cry…

Riiiight. Like I would ever cry in front of you “Mr. I’m not crying during this girly play my eyes are just watering.”

…“I was out doing my daily fly when I saw them coming and decided to stay hidden when I saw the Grundos exit their ship.”

“Well my name is GrrArg208 and I know we need to come up with a plan to get rid of them before they destroy our world”

“Can’t we just go find our moms?…

Now I’m a momma’s boy? Everyone knows it’s you that can’t do anything without mommy’s say so, not me.

…I’m sure they would know what to do.” Ruffeio replied, looking all the more eager to be anywhere but talking to this crazy Kougra.

“No, we don’t have any time. Besides I have an idea!…

Probably going to be just like this idea of our “story” insane, crazy, and completely unrealistic.

…What we need to do is sneak into the space ship and get into the control room. Once there we can deactivate the mutant Grundo mind control machine…

Mutant Grundo mind control machine? What’s next after deactivating the machine, we’ll use the now friendly Grundos to destroy Dr. Sloth?

…and then we will be able to convince the Grundos to help us to stop Dr. Sloth’s invasion of our world,” GrrArg208 laid out as their plan of attack. “So are you coming to help me save our world and be known far and wide as heroes? Or are you going to stay here and be known as the biggest coward in Aipoen?”

“Well I guess I will come, but only if you promise me that we will be able to get home before my mom worries…

Ummm GrrArg208, your story had Dr Sloth’s spaceship destroy my house so how would I be able to “get home before mom worries?”

…If that happens, no matter if I am a hero or not, I will be in BIG trouble.”

The two pets set off towards the space ship and found they had no problems neither sneaking into the ship, nor locating the control room without being discovered. As they entered the control room they ran into twenty-five of the largest, meanest mutant Grundos alive. Ruffeio suggested that they should stand and fight but GrrArg208 knew when he was beaten…

Wait now I’m the brave one? Just a few seconds ago I wanted to run home to mommy.

…and surrendered with the honor that only the truly victorious could know. The mutant Grundos grabbed them and took them to the debriefing room where the illustrious Dr. Sloth confronted them. Dr. Sloth took one look at them and ordered them to the dungeons…

What space ship has dungeons? Next you’ll be telling everyone that the faerie queen popped into our cell and saved us, right?

…They were so scared and cold in the dungeons all by themselves surrounded by mutant Grundos. All of a sudden a bright light illuminated the cell and standing before them was Fyora the beautiful faerie queen. She told the two young pets that since they were so brave and stood up against the evil Dr. Sloth, even when they were outnumbered she was going to help them. She wasn’t going to be able to stop Dr. Sloth from taking over their world of Aipoen but she was going to take them to a new home in Neopia where they would be cared for a loved for the rest of their very long lives…

Some reward. Rather than rescuing us, saving our world, returning us to our moms, and letting us continue on with our happy lives, she rips us from the only home we have ever known and we are happy about this. Really GrrArg208, you think anyone will believe this garbage?

…While it was hard for Ruffeio and GrrArg208 to get used to their new lives in Neopia they soon realized that they were better off and grew to love the new families they got in exchange for the harrowing experience they survived from.

And that is how Ruffeio and I met and became fast friends. We have come a long way, changing colors, gender, and species, but we always stay true to our history and remain the best of friends.

Do you really think anyone is going to buy that load of rubbish?

Why wouldn’t they? It’s the truth about what happened. I may have embellished a little but it was only to make it a little more interesting. The important parts are ALL true still.

Embellished a LITTLE!?! We met through our owners. They became friends and arranged play dates for us.

Well you keep telling that “mommy set-up play dates” story all you want. I told the REAL story and everyone that reads this will agree.

I’m soooooo sure. If anyone actually believes this I have some prime rainbow pool front property in the Lost Desert to sell you.

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