Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 183,842,220 Issue: 475 | 23rd day of Celebrating, Y12
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We Wish You a Meepy Christmas

by absdafabs


"We wish you a Meepy Christmas, we wish you a Meepy Christmas, we wish you a Meepy Christmas and a Happy New Year!" the chorus of Meepits carolled in unison, smiling wistfully at the Bruce staring down at them.

     "Very nice, now go away!" Eric slammed the door in their hopeful faces. Good riddance! As the air stilled, the calmness soothed his aching head. He wasn't normally such a spoilsport, but that was the third lot of carol singers to knock on his door that day and he could definitely feel a migraine coming on.

     His momentary peace was shattered by another knock at the door. Rage rising within him, Eric grabbed the handle and angrily seized open the door.

     "WHAT IS IT NOW?" he yelled furiously, his head thrown back and eyes closed. Upon hearing no answer, he cautiously opened his eyes and looked around at the empty doorstep.

     "What the?" Eric looked down at his feet as he turned to leave. A parcel, wrapped plainly in brown paper, was sat on the step, urging him to pick it up and open it. Checking nobody was around, Eric slowly bent down to lift the parcel up. With a last sweeping glance at the neighbourhood, he returned inside his house, shutting the door quietly and discreetly behind him.

     Eric placed the parcel on the kitchen table, and stared at it for several moments. Yes, it was addressed to him and it was left on his doorstep, but there was something about it that implied that he did not truly own it.

     All of a sudden, the box shook violently. Eric, who had been dreamily lost in thought, jumped a mile. What? Was there something alive in there? As the vibrations grew stronger and stronger, Eric hurriedly tore the paper apart, desperately searching for the poor soul who had been imprisoned in the present.

     There, in front of him, was a small tiny bottled faerie. Eric gazed at it for several minutes, unable to comprehend what he was seeing. Yes, it was a bottled faerie (a dark one at that), but it seemed... different.

     "Well? Are you going to let me out? I have been stuck in here for quite a long time you know!" the faerie, who was undoubtedly furious, yelled in a high-pitched but assertive voice. "Do you not want one of my special abilities?"

     "Right, yes, but first of all, I was wondering if you could help me," Eric began.

     "I'm not the flaming Soup Faerie, you know? I don't really do being helpful!" the faerie retorted, further enraged by the delay in her release.

     "It won't take a minute. I wanted to enquire about who gave me to you? There is no note you see..."

     "Does it really matter? You've got a bottled faerie – well whoopty do!"

     "Okay, okay!" Seeing he was not going to have his question answered, Eric gave up and hastily unscrewed the bottle cap.

     The faerie flew out of the bottle faster than you could say ‘Jhudora'.

     "Can I have my special ability now?" Eric asked, politely. If he was going to get something out of this, then it was fine by him for people to leave gifts on his doorstep.

     "Hmm... no!"

     "What? Why not?"

     "I feel like staying around for a couple of days first. Maybe, if I really like you, I'll stay around forever!" The faerie cackled stubbornly. "Now, where's the fridge? I'm starving!" The faerie then shot off, while Eric, wide-eyed and confused, ran after her.

     By the time Eric reached the kitchen, the once cream coloured walls were splattered red with tomato juice and the faerie was emptying his fridge by carelessly tossing the food around the room.

     "Broccoli, no. Peanuts, no. Ooh, chocolate cake. My favourite!" The faerie greedily gobbled down the cake after throwing the broccoli and peanuts into the sink.

     Eric's heart sank as he watched the scene; he'd been saving that piece of cake for when his best friend James came to stay later in the festive period.

     "What are you doing?" he exclaimed. But it was too late, as the faerie had flown out the door and begun ransacking the remainder of the neohome.

     Eric managed to track her down by meticulously following the trail of disaster and destruction she had wreaked upon his home. She was in the attic room, rooting through an antique chest of drawers when he finally managed to corner her. Eric slammed the door behind him, barring the exit.

     "Right! This has to stop!" Eric bellowed, angrily. "I want you to leave!"

     "Aw, but I thought we were just beginning to get to know each other..." The faerie sounded genuinely shocked at his depreciation of her presence. "I haven't even had a chance to grant you your special ability yet."

     "I don't care! I don't know who sent you, but you can fly back to them and stay with them for as long as you like, but you will never be welcome in my neohome!"

     The faerie's smile diminished, and her eyes welled up with tears. Oops, maybe that was a bit strong; it hadn't been his intention to make her cry.

     "No, don't cry, please! I mean, I'm sure we can sort out this little, shall we say, ‘difference of opinion'."

     "Really?" The faerie's face immediately brightened upon gaining the reaction she had sought.

     "Yes, really. Look, I'm sorry for shouting; let me introduce myself. I'm Eric, what's your name?"

     "Jenna..." mumbled the still sobbing faerie, fluttering down and sitting on the spare bed dejectedly. Eric sat down next to her.

     "Look, Jenna, we both know that you were sent here, not as a gift, but to cause havoc and mayhem to me. I can see that, deep down, you're not a bad faerie, you were just following orders. Just let me know who left you on my doorstep and we'll start afresh and forget that any of this happened. How does that sound?"

     Eric took her silence for approval, and they remained there, sat on the bed for several minutes, waiting the awkward silence out.

     "The Meepits."


     "The Meepits – they sent me. They were upset that you'd slammed the door in their face and well, I kind of owed them a couple of favours so I had to do as they said. They knew that I have a habit of making myself a bit of a nuisance – I flogged them about a hundred chairs with whoopee cushions discreetly hidden underneath – needless to say they knew exactly where to go when they wanted a bit of mischief conjured up."

     Eric gritted his teeth at Jenna's revelation. How dare they do this to him! Fair enough he was a bit harsh, but sending a faerie over to make his life a living nightmare? That was one step too far! Revenge was definitely needed...

     "I think we need to play these Meepits at their own game," Eric mumbled to himself. "Jenna? Are you with me?"

     Jenna nodded.


      "Ha-ha, I'm still laughing just thinking about the nightmare that Bruce will be having with that awful faerie!" Jay chuckled to his gang of fellow Meepits. He guzzled down more Neocola and threw the empty can on the floor of the neohome, which had already begun to resemble the rubbish heap.

     The doorbell rang.

     "If it's carol singers, tell them to go away!" Milo shouted down the hall as Jay rushed to open the door.

     "Hello again." Jenna beamed at the Meepit

     "What are you doing here? You're meant to be making boring Bruce's Christmas a misery!"

     "Oh, he's already been driven to despair and I decided hanging around with you guys would be much more fun! May I come in?"

     "Oh, okay. Sure..."

     As Jenna entered the filthy living room, all the Meepits turned to face her, shocked at her entrance. They whispered amongst themselves, trying to work out why their fantastically evil plan had failed. Jay looked at Jenna, eyes narrowed. What was she doing here?

     Something has happened!

     An Old Wizard appears and gives you Downsize!

     Jay looked around, aghast, as he shrank smaller and smaller. But surely these events couldn't happen to a Petpet? What was going on?

     "Don't worry, I'll go and get the Supersize from the kitchen to counteract it!" Milo responded. Jay was the leader of the group of Meepits, and he'd prepared for every situation.

     Something has happened!

     SLOTH FIRES HIS RAY GUN AT YOU! Your Supersize is turned into a mound of sludge!

     "Gosh, you're looking a bit on the small side, Jay!" Jenna smirked. Eric had appeared at the doorway, having let himself in, aware that nobody would notice him breaking into the neohome in all the commotion.

     "Delivery for Miss Jenna!" He laughed, passing the small glass bottle that Jenna had been left on his doorstep in to the faerie. "I made sure the top was on it, don't worry!"

     The Meepits looked at each other, waiting for some kind of orders to give them a way to resolve the disaster. They stood and stared as Jenna picked up the now tiny Jay and placed him inside the glass bottle, screwing the lid on tightly.

     "You can't do this!" His voice had suddenly become a lot more high-pitched than usual.

     "Oh, I think you'll find I can. I just used a little help from some friends. It's not just Eric and me that you've annoyed over the years, is it, Jay? I think you'll find we had queues of pets and owners from all over Neopia, just waiting for their chance to avenge your actions." The Meepit frowned, not willing to dispute the fact that he'd rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way in the past year. "I think he'll look pretty nice on your mantelpiece, Eric. What do you think?" Eric smiled.

     "We'll get our own back for this!" Milo had returned the room and was furious at his friend's recent imprisonment.

     "Fine, but I've got plenty more bottles where this one came from..." The Meepits' eyes widened at Jenna's suggestion that the same fate may befall them all. The faerie then turned to leave carrying the bottled Meepit, Eric in tow.


    "Thanks for the Christmas dinner, Eric! You've definitely made it a memorable festive season this year! I ought to be getting back to Faerieland to my friends. Merry Christmas, Eric!" Jenna turned to walk up the garden path.

     "Merry, or should I say Meepy, Christmas to you too, Jenna!"

The End

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