Surviving the Season: Tricky Treats
Greetings, minions of darkness. Remember me? Oh well, your loss. For those of you that do, I hope you have realised by now that Valentine’s day is well and truly past, and good riddance. But alas, another twisted season, bent on stealing what we stole first, is upon us. I’m talking about Halloween.
What’s that I hear you say? Halloween is a spooky holiday? It was MEANT for neopets like us? Well, yes, originally Halloween was a time feared by many and celebrated by the evil few. But now it is become a silly holiday, like *shudder* Christmas. Just look outside. Do you see them? Chubby, spoilt little pets, dragging along a dinky little bucket or vibrant plastic bag as they pollute the Haunted Woods with their pathetic giggles. Dressed up as vain princesses in frilly dresses, or cute faeries with flimsy wings, they will clamber at your door demanding that you satisfy their candy cravings.
This leaves you with three choices. You could hide away in a soundproof lair wearing giant earmuffs. You could engage in a screaming match with the vermin outside. Or you could get even. Oh really, must I explain everything? On Halloween, when one doesn’t receive candy, one is supposed to play a prank, though anything those children try will no doubt be unimaginative and harmless. Besides, it’s much more fun to be the trickster than the tricked. Honestly, if you were any more thick I’d say you were a zombie. Oh, you are? That explains a lot. Well, anyway, one simple solution is a tricky treat. Instead of giving tasty candy, you give them something unpleasant. And before you ask, here are some examples to get you started.
1. Almost Gummy Rat (strawberry)
Almost-but-not-quite gummy goodness. Strawberry wild!
Emphasis on the ‘almost’. Luckily the fools will never realise the difference until it’s too late. Also comes in flavours lime and grape, if pink isn’t really your colour.
2. Chewed Gum Ice Cream Cone
Don't worry, the gum was all chewed by the cook.
Another cheap tricky treat you can make yourself. Simply get yourself a set of ice cream cones and some gum (not the fake or gross food kind). Then chew patiently as you wait for an unsuspecting victim to bang on your door. Open the door, grab a cone, spit out the gum, and voila! Yes, I suppose you could spit the gum at the neopet too, but that’s so tacky and cliché.
3. Brain Candy Mix
Tasty sweets that will either make your Neopet shudder or laugh.
If you will be guarding the door to a shared neohome, you may have the misfortune of a roommate who doesn’t share your ideals. If this is the case, then a bag of brain candy mix is perfect for you. Unless one looks closely at these candies, they will never realise the horrors within.
4. Chewing Dung
The flavour just lasts and lasts with this large ball of chewing dung.
Wrap it up in a spooky wrapper and they’ll never know the difference! Be sure to carry a nose-peg; otherwise this prank may backfire in a rather smelly way.
5. Roasted Spyder on a Stick
Crunchy legs with a soft center. Yum!
If you’re feeling particularly malicious (or maybe you are just stingy) why not make your own Roasted Spyder on a Stick? Describing in graphic detail the effort you went to in order to make this delightful delicacy is sure to send pets screaming from your door.
6. Fake Gum
Disappoint your friends by generously offering them your prank fake gum.
Perfect for those more villainous pranksters. Watch their greedy eyes light up as they rip open the wrapper, only to deflate as they taste the plastic. Just be warned you may be subject to a childish tantrum along with those hard-earned tears.
7. Tomato Dipped Chocolate Bar
Tomatoes are sure to make a chocolate bar better tasting and healthier, right?
If anyone asks, claim that you are a loyal supporter of the health food shop, and thought that by dipping the chocolate in tomatoes it would be healthier.
8. Fish Pop
Original tuna flavoured frozen fish pop.
If you manage to stick it in the bag before anyone notices, the tuna taste will quickly spread, contaminating the candy contents. However, an ordinary frozen fish may be easy to spot. You might be better off with a Lemon and Lime Fish Pop, a Chocolate Coated Fish Pop, a Blueberry Fish Pop or a Strawberry and Cream Fish Pop. The unusual colouring will convince those fools that they are simply fish-shaped candy.
9. Sardine Vinegar Gum
Punish your taste buds like never before with this repulsive sardine and vinegar flavoured bubblegum.
Some of the brighter neopets may see through the fake gum. If that’s the case, why not offer them some of this instead? They will spend days brushing their teeth, desperate to remove the taste. Mix in some Lime Chilly Gum, Peanut Seaweed Gum and Sausage Mayo Gum for tasteless variety.
12. Stale Black Jelly Bean
Ick, these are a bit hard.
No one likes black jellybeans. Especially stale ones. You’ll have to conceal them within a pack of jellybeans, or paint them, in order to distribute them. However, since they are hard, you could also use them as miniature projectiles.
11. Questionable Bag of Stale Crisps
How long has this bag been sitting around?
Did your goodie-two-shoes buy Halloween candies last year? If you’re lucky they’ll have left some lying in the back of a cupboard somewhere. Why not be a kind neopet for once in your life and recycle them?
12. Eye Candy
Looks like somebody went too near the toffee apple machine...
For added effect, wear an eye patch while answering the door. If asked, state you had an incident while working at a candy factory. Also works well with Chocolate Coated Eyes.
13. Candy Vampire
There is always one in every bag...
Not really a treat (unless you’re a giant turmac), but definitely a trick. Quickly pop one in each bag thrust at your door. These critters are extremely protective of candy. Watch the poor pets wrestle to recover their loot from these fierce petpets. With a bit of luck they might do some damage.
Well, that better be enough ideas to get you started. If I give any more suggestions I fear I may start becoming *shudder* helpful. And that’s not a risk I’m willing to take, even for a nasty cause. Pick the prank that’s right (or wrong) for you, or better yet, come up with your own. Perhaps I’ll even stroll out of my lair to see what chaos you all cook up. However, know your limits. If you get in over your head and get the Defenders involved, you’re on your own. I don’t have time to clean up after amateurs. Farewell,
~Shadow (aka 2cool4_for_eyeshadow)
Author’s Note: Thanks for once again putting up with Shadow and have a Happy Halloween!