Chet Flash wuz here Circulation: 184,475,300 Issue: 467 | 29th day of Collecting, Y12
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Who to Avoid When You're Trick or Treating


by ballerinafaerie

--------

The top 10 people NOT to visit when you’re trick or treating!

With Halloween coming up, it’s only natural that everybody will be happily planning their costumes and thinking about the best places to go and get treats. However, what about the places you should avoid? Did you ever think about that? Well, never mind, because this is my top ten people you should avoid at all costs when looking for treats!

1. Sophie the swamp witch –

Admittedly, Sophie is slightly difficult to visit, due to the fact that she lives all alone in a shack in the middle of a swamp. However, that hasn’t stopped one or two determined little pets knocking on her door and demanding sweets. Oddly enough, this is not something that Sophie takes kindly to. It’s lucky that Sophie is almost kind hearted, though, so the worst that could happen if you were to go banging on her door is that you’d return home hungry with the sound of her door slamming in your face echoing in your brain.

2. Eliv Thade –

Not many people know this, but one of Eliv Thade’s most favourite things to do is to bake cookies and other sweet things to give out to little kids on Halloween. In fact it warms his heart to see them enjoying his creations. However, what a lot of people do know is, none of that was true. Eliv Thade doesn’t bake. He sits alone in his vast and empty castle, throwing fits of rage if he is interrupted. So you can immediately tell that if you trick or treated at his house, you’d be in a lot of trouble. Unlike Sophie, however, Eliv Thade is not almost kind hearted. In fact, he isn’t nearly kind hearted. However, after years and years of being alone and speaking in anagrams to himself, the worst that will probably happen is that he’ll babble like an idiot at you while you stand there with a puzzled expression on your face. If you’re really lucky, he might confuse himself and slam back into his home.

3. Fyora –

Yes, no doubt you’re surprised to see the faerie queen on here, but it’s only fair that you are warned about the dangers of knocking on the door of her castle. Unlike most others on this list, Fyora adores giving out sweets to all of the little children, and she awards those with the best costumes well. Fyora, of course, does not make these sweets herself, and hires others to do it for her. These are the sweetest, most sugary treats in Neopia, and although they sound and taste lovely, you will be having cavities filled until Christmas!

4. Edna –

Edna isn’t exactly bad... In fact, I think she rather likes giving out sweets to kids. The only trouble is, she insists on making them herself. This doesn’t sound so bad, right? Wrong! Everyone knows that Edna has a short temper and is extremely impatient. In fact, she threw her recipe book out of the window in rage and hasn’t seen it since. Because of this, she improvises when making her treats and more often than not they – wait, what am I talking about? – They NEVER turn out good. In fact, the last unsuspecting pet who ate one of Edna’s sweets mutated hideously and now lives in a dark cave somewhere in Tyrannia. Very few people have visited Edna since.

5. Dr. Frank Sloth –

Dr. Frank Sloth – known to most of us as simply Sloth – is probably not the first guy you’d think of to go running to for treats anyway, particularly if you happen to be a Grundo. I think that the fact that Sloth’s skin used to be pale yellow is a clear indication that he most definitely doesn’t like to mingle with soap and water. This alone should be enough to put you off, but if it isn’t, then you clearly don’t know what ingredients are in the Secret Sloth Slushie. Yes, pus, slime, bilge and snot are all main ingredients in any Sloth treat. I would advise you to steer clear!

6. Jhudora –

Jhudora probably wouldn’t be the top of anyone’s list for trick or treating anyway. But if you're new to trick or treating or just love this purple tinged faerie, I feel that there are one or two things that you should know about Jhudora’s sweets. For starters, they’re poisoned. So, if you want to eat a poisoned lollipop and then walk around with a disease, that’s completely up to you, but personally, I’d keep away. Let’s not forget that Jhudora has a bit of a temper, so it wouldn’t be unlike her to force you to eat one of her poisonous concoctions if you interrupted her while she was plotting. I’d suggest that for your own safety, you kept away – far away!

7. The Staff at Kelp –

They say there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and this certainly applies to the Kelp restaurant. If you venture down there to get some free treats, you’ll end up spending millions of neopoints that you don’t actually have. If you’re looking for fantastic gourmet food, then look no further because Kelp is the best place you could be. However, if you are looking for free sweets, keep going and never look back, because you won’t be finding any at Kelp.

8. Jhuidah –

The Island faerie is nice enough, and no doubt a good cook. Well, she should be anyway – how long has she had that cooking pot to practise in? Yes, everyone has heard of Jhuidah and Pango Pango, so think of how many visitors she must get every day! With all of those pets mixing all of those different items in the same cooking pot day in, day out, it must get pretty filthy and somehow I don’t think that Jhuidah has the time to clean it. So imagine eating food from Pango Pango after hundreds of people before you had mixed a whole host of items, many of which had been found on the floor. Yuck! Germs galore! Really, it’s safer not to bother.

9. Bonju –

Ah yes, chef Bonju, that infamous orange Blumaroo who drove the whole of Neopia crazy with that avatar hunt. As if that isn’t enough to make him unbearable, he is also a self-proclaimed “master culinary artist”. What you think of his cooking, of course, is entirely up to you. However, it should be known that he is quite, um... creative with his concoctions and they aren’t always edible. However, perhaps if you were to tell him that, it might actually wipe that annoyingly smug look off his face.

10. The Esophagor –

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!! If you visit the Esophagor, please be aware that the consequences could be fatal. In fact, you might get eaten. The Esophagor gives food to NOBODY. Many have gone missing on Halloween after simply standing near him. If you are feeling daring and completely ignore the above advice, make sure that you are not travelling alone. It is best to have at least two friends with you, as the Esophagor can be very fast if he is hungry enough. He might not look like much, but trust me, DO NOT underestimate the Esophagor!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Hopefully you are now more aware about who – or what – to avoid when trick or treating. So, stay safe and Happy Halloween!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Fruity Halloween
Happy Halloween, Apple!

by reckless4romance

---------

A Spooky Halloween, Part 4
Pumpkin pity

by ghostkomorichu

---------

Amikarashui
We're not too old to go Trick or Treating!

by bluecloud300

---------

Hip Halloween Habits
Does your pet want to look unique this Halloween? Help them stand out in the sea of Fyoras and Dr. Sloths!

Also by akikins

by valikthebuilder




Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.