Reporting live from Neopia Circulation: 186,904,155 Issue: 465 | 15th day of Collecting, Y12
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

What Good is a Plot without a Conspiracy Theory

by carrotbreath


Recently a terrible fate has fallen over Neopia’s Faeries and simple Neopians, like you and me, are in charge of attempting to find out who is the culprit. Well, some think it's Hubrid Nox or another evil Neopian with the immense power to petrify even Fyora, the Queen. Well, I say there are no villains with such power. You see the ones behind the plot and supposed petrifaction are the faeries themselves. Yes, the victim is usually the culprit! For the time being this is just a conspiracy theory, but when valuable proof arises it will be known to all Neopians that we were just pawns in this cruel joke.

For years the Faeries have been subjected to the fickle will of all Neopians: accepting rejection for their kind offers of quests, waiting months in order for a quest to be completed, and the obvious torment they receive when they don’t bless the “right pet.” Not to mention the individual tortures the Faeries endure. Yes, after a couple years these things finally got to them, so the Faeries concocted a plan during the Yearly Organizational Faerie Festival Meeting, or the YOFFM for short (whose existence is also currently under investigation). The plan was proposed by the Water Faerie, yes, that sweet sprite who offers to heal your pet every now and then. Well, she is one of the most tormented Faeries yet! Rarely brought those books she loves reading and receiving constant torture and ridicule from all Neopians who expect her to fully heal their pet every time, but become angered when she’s only able to barely heal them, not caring if it really was the best she can do. That is why she proposed this treacherous plot. When she spoke up during the meeting, the Faeries all looked at her in shock, but after a couple seconds their faces were filled with delight. Fyora herself then praised her plan.

Then instead of planning the flavor of pies and the baking of the annual Faerie Festival Cake, they put their plan into action. First they would take a visit to Altador, and would distract every Neopian by allowing them to receive a daily prize prior to the Faerie Festival. By distracting us with some shiny trinket, they were able to keep us in blissful ignorance. Then in Altador they shrewdly planned not to walk in through the main entrance, in order not to cause uproar, but instead walk around the perimeter to the perfectly flat rock quarry, sneak past the bickering JubJubs and take their weight in perfectly flat rocks. You may be in awe that the faeries would take perfectly flat rocks, but the situation was dire with only two days left until the Faerie Festival. The next part was the most difficult, tracking down a master carver. They did not want to reveal their plan to just anyone and they wanted the job done right in the first place, so they were determined to track down the neopet responsible for the life-like statues of the twelve heroes of Altador, that adorn the Hall of Heroes. This wasn’t easy with just one day remaining but they managed, and soon, with a little persuasion from Jhudora, those perfectly flat rocks were perfect replicas of each Faerie (and even a pie!) Their plan went into effect on the 20th day of the month of Gathering. While we Neopians remain in blissful ignorance with thoughts of prize shops and avatars dancing in our heads, the Faeries are taking a well-deserved vacation somewhere far, and yet unknown.

Current Proof

The reason this hasn’t made the front page of the daily News is because incriminating proof hasn’t been brought to light, but currently we have some Mynci investigators on the job. Rest assured the truth will come to light in due time. But currently the only proof we have is the fact that the Faeries have been noticeably overworked.

How Does This Affect Us?

This situation does bring some changes afoot to Neopia. A couple of the changes being the effect it has on the neo economy, but this effect doesn’t seem to be too long-lasting. The Faeries are no longer able to grant Faerie Quests, and quests that were left uncompleted before the Faeries put into effect their elaborate plan are now not able to be completed. The Faerie Quest page along with many other Faerie sponsored pages welcomes you by saying, “This area is not available, because all the Faeries of Neopia have been turned to stone!” The lack of quests means fewer items are being bought from shops to be given to Faeries and after a couple thousand users this adds up. Also, more training is taking place, and the price of codestones has risen. Less money is put into buying items, but much more is put into training. Overall, it seems to be a good balance until the Faeries return. Also these prizes don’t sound too bad, and we will be waiting with anticipation until the prize shop opens.


Meanwhile, this is just considered a conspiracy theory, but the aforementioned Mynci investigators are making an effort to change this story from theory to fact. Also let’s just say this isn’t the first time the victim has been behind the plot all along. Are you sure Moltara was really discovered or were the Moltarans just inhabitants of Mystery Island who grew tired of the scenery and agreed to undergo an experimental transformation to achieve the color “Magma,” while Jordie distracted all of Neopia until they could properly make a civilization? As a reward, Jordie would receive fame. Yes, we conspiracy theorists are full of these ideas. But this Faerie Plot is not as elaborate as the others.

Therefore a big, “HAHA” to you Faeries, your little plan has left us unaffected for the most part. Oh and do not worry, although we will all soon find out about your treacherous deeds and insidious plot, we sure understand and will make it a point to appreciate you in the future.

Disclaimer: As said many times this is still not provable (BUT SOON WILL BE), so until then please do not take anything you’ve read seriously.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Princess Mind-Reader: Part Two
I used to be a Princess.

by thornfoot2


Spots Dots and Carrots - The Healthy Revenge, Final

by lovisa966


The House on the Hill: Part One
Most of the stories of Werelupes and wicked faeries roaming the forest were just that — stories — but every once in a while, they turned out to be true, and even the most fearless denizens of the Woods weren't willing to take such a risk.

by izziemushroom


Missy Grarrl and Me
The perils of paintbrushes...

by alibaba8

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.