An Interview With: Ms. Polly Usuki!
Tally: Hello and welcome to this rare and exclusive interview with Ms. Polly Usuki, or as most of you know her, the 'emo' shopkeeper. I am your interviewer today and I look forward to delving into the mind of this Neopian star! It is something that both the Neopian Times and I have been anticipating for a long while, and now we finally get the chance to pick the brains of this hardworking citizen! How exciting!
Ms. Polly Usuki: Why are you talking about me like I'm not here?
Tally: Oh, I am very sorry. My apologies. Right, on with the interview! Firstly, I want to ask the question on everyone's lips - how does it feel to be the most popular shopkeeper in Neopia?
Ms. Polly Usuki: Not as fantastic as you would think! I feel very hurt and used, as I know people only really ask me to watch over their shop so they can get some kind of prize! Don't ask me what it is, I don't even want to know. But moving aside from this, I also have the fact that I have thousands of shops to look after, whilst the true owners go off to social gatherings or attempt to save the world! It's madness looking after all of those shops. I need to stock the shelves, keep them tidy, handle more money than I can count up to, make sure I'm giving people the right change, whilst also making sure the place is secure and not involved in some hideous crime. I tell you now; it's not as easy as it looks.
Tally: Wow! That sure is a lot work for one person to do all by themselves. Do you get any help at all?
Ms. Polly Usuki: Hardly! Occasionally I'll get some help from a passing kadoatie, but they don't really make much difference. I have thought about *drops to a low whisper* asking Dr. Sloth if he has any spells or potions I could use to clone myself. That would make life a lot easier. Yes, I think I will. Can you scrap that from the interview?
Tally: Ahem, I'll see what I can do. *shifty eyes* Moving on slowly. What are the perks of the job?
Ms. Polly Usuki: I don't think there are any.
Tally: Oh, there must be some! Come on, spill the beans. Do you get free celebrity goodie bags? Get into the most exclusive guilds in the blink of an eye?
Ms. Polly Usuki: Well, I guess I do like getting noticed in the street. It's a surreal, but tingly feeling. I don't really like the autograph bit – why would someone want me to write my name on a piece of paper for them? I don’t really understand that bit. And you must be joking, asking me about getting into exclusive guilds! I hardly have time to eat breakfast, let alone waste time chatting with fellow guild members. It’s all codswallop anyway, in my opinion.
Tally: Okay, so we’ve heard that you don’t have a lot of spare time to do things you enjoy, but can you give us a quick idea of what your day entails?
Ms. Polly Usuki: Well, I get up every morning at 5am. I then have to man all of these shops in Neopia, hopping from one place to another and not getting a chance of a break at all. Do you know, I don’t even get the option of whether I take on another shop or not? I just get told! And then I’ve got the other extreme, where I can finally get used to the way one shop works, when the owner brings in another shop keeper. It can get very confusing at times. I finish work at 10pm, at which time I go home, eat something and then go to bed. That’s my day and every day is the same.
Tally: Wow. I can see what you mean. It must get quite monotonous. What is your least favourite thing about the job?
Ms. Polly Usuki: I cannot stand it when someone owns a beautiful shop and never gives me anything to put in it! I mean, it’s my job to keep the shelves stocked – not the shop! How am I supposed to do my job if you give me nothing to work with? If you’re reading this and you’re one of my managers, will you please get your act together and give me something to sell?! Thank you.
Tally: Okay, Ms. Usuki. Would you like a slushie or something?
Ms. Polly Usuki: No thank you. I don’t have time. I have about another five minutes before I need to get to work.
Tally: Okay, my apologises again. So, we’ve spoken a bit about the present; let’s move on to the future. What are your life goals? Did you always want to be a shopkeeper?
Ms. Polly Usuki: No! Of course I didn’t! I had big dreams of owning and running the Neolodge. I guess that dream was just a little too big, though, and I got landed with the one I’m in. If I’d have known what I know now, I’d have never applied for the job in the first place. [Ms. Usuki sighs and looks disheartened].
Tally: Can you not move out of your current job onto something you would enjoy?
Ms. Polly Usuki: And leave all of these shops to the fate of some other poor soul? I couldn’t do that. I don’t like my job, but then I’m the best in the business and I am trusted. I just wish I wasn’t used to get this prize. It seems that it causes more trouble than it’s worth.
Tally: Do you know what an avatar is?
Ms. Polly Usuki: Oh yes. Useless pixel images that my shops owners can choose to represent them whilst they talk to each other. What a waste of time. Why do you ask?
Tally: No reason. *shifty eyes*. Anyway, I would like to conclude this interview by thanking you for your precious time. We really appreciate your honesty and hope that everything works out for you in the future.
Ms. Polly Usuki: Thank you. Goodbye.
Tally: Goodbye, now. Now readers, don’t forget to tune in next time for an interview with our next mystery guest!