teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 181,176,258 Issue: 453 | 23rd day of Swimming, Y12
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Charolette and the Awful MuuMuu

by dolcebby


I couldn't understand it. Just couldn't. My mind tried to see in the eyes of this slightly aged yellow Chia to see in her point of view, but I just couldn't even fathom it. There she stood, in the middle of Uni's Clothing wearing what could only be described as an oversized floral muumuu, making her way out the door without even a garment in her hand to cover up that insane ensemble. As she exited, she pulled at the back of her dress, checking left and right to make sure that no one was watching, and turned right and down the street.


     The blue Uni who worked at Uni's Clothing got my attention. We had been talking before I had spotted this tragically sad looking Chia.

      "Yeah, sorry. As I was saying, I don't think you should stock this anymore." I motioned to the blue scarf with the yellow fringe that was hanging beside me on a wall peg. "Nobody wants them anymore."

      "But Char, it's a stable element in my store. It's like... signature."

      I considered this, and stared at that scarf for a few more seconds. I bet that Chia had a couple at home for sure.

      "How many are in stock?" I asked, sure of the answer.

     She looked at the scarf as I was, and was hesitant to answer. "Thirty six."

     I nodded, knowing my point was made. I then looked at the mirror at myself, a striped Peophin, wearing a pastel pink scarf smartly complimented with a white tank top. I praised myself for a moment, and returned to my friend. "Besides, blue and yellow are so five years ago. The new it color is navy blue."

     I looked myself in the mirror again. I could use some navy, I thought to myself.

     When I wrapped up my conversation, I left the store and started toward my Neohome located just down the street, near Hubert's Hot Dogs. I was afraid of what was in store for me, as my older sister had insisted that she go to the NC Mall and surprise me with what she'd bought for me. For Neopians who don't know my big sister, let me give you a little insight. Her name is Lilac, an extremely logical, practical and numerical blue Shoyru. She didn't know how to dress herself to save her life, but she insists that being "practical is practically fashionable!". She has no sense of color, no sense of contrast- I'm almost positive she doesn't know a back drape from a back yolk.

      "Little sis!" She greeted me by the doorway with that look in her eye I recognized as that eager to please me look.

      "Hey... Came back from shopping already?" I wasn't sure what scenario I should have been more concerned with; her taking so little time at the Mall where she just picked up the first thing she saw that was close to my size, or her spending so much time at the mall, over thinking it and turning it into a 'Psychologically, Charolette should be attracted to the colors pink, orange, and red, blah blah blah.'

     Lilac held out a purple bag with a white logo on it- one of her favorite stores to shop at. Great. I took it, peered inside, and pulled out the khaki shorts by one of the legs.

      "Cute, right?" she said, glowing. "Isn't it-"

      "Practical," I finished for her.

      "Exactly! You can wear it anywhere at anytime, to see anyone! I knew you'd like them."

     In fact, I didn't like them. I hated them. How practical was practical, anyway? How practical is wearing something you absolutely loathe? I passed my sister with a weary smile to get to my room, where I carelessly threw the khaki shorts on my bed. I then looked over in the corner, where I found the same colored loafers that she had given to me two weeks prior that were collecting dust. I wasn't sure how she didn't know that I wasn't wearing any of these- just keeping them out of sight in my room so it wasn't brought up. When I do make the mistake of leaving these unworn pieces of clothing out, she questions why I don't wear them, and then I make the even bigger mistake of asking her why she can't buy me clothes, that in her frame of mind, are 'impractical'. This, she just doesn't understand. Only a few people do, but most of Neopia is against me, so it seems. Since my sister won't pay for any of my 'unnecessary, overpriced luxurious clothing', as she called it, I had no choice but to get a job. I help out at the Grooming Parlour every afternoon. Perfect for me, right? And just across the road from where I live.

     It was getting around that time when I go to work, so I snuck out of the house to avoid my sister asking why I wasn't wearing my new pants she bought for me.


    "Charolette, thank goodness! It's a madhouse here today! I've gotten over twenty reservations via neomail for makeovers toady, and I am completely swamped!" The beautiful and charming Red Usul pleaded to me with her wide eyes, and I nodded. She took my hand and led me to my first customer, sitting in a swivel chair. She was a purple Kacheek, who wouldn't look me in the eyes as she said, "Just a trim, please. Not too short, or I won't tip." She picked and examined her nails as I started to trim.

     I must have gotten through at least six more customers, (some which I applied make-up to, some which I gave them a trim, like the first, and one who I talked into buying our Chokato Lotion) before I saw a familiar face walking into the Parlour. It was the same yellow Chia that walked into Uni's Clothing, only she had a pink Peophin, around my age, I guessed, at her side. The Peophin looked around skeptically and sneered at the hair on the floor that wasn't yet swept up. I then took notice of what she was wearing, a red blouse, the Red Polka Dot Skirt I recognized from the NC Mall, but then something around her neck that wasn't quite right... A blue and yellow scarf I assumed her mother had bought for her. I could tell this Peophin was itching to get it off, as it clearly clashed with the rest of her red outfit, and it was strung around her neck carelessly loose, as if if it were to fall off 'accidentally', it wouldn't be her fault at all.

      "Charolette, can you take this one?" The Red Usul approached me again, and motioned toward the pink Peophin.

      "Um, yeah. Sure."

     I approached her, and said, "Hello, I'm Charolette. What can I do for you today?"

     The Peophin looked me up and down before answering. "I need a facial, manicure, pedicure, and also-"

      "Honey, the budget." The Chia spoke up in her soft, quiet voice.

     I looked at her, and this time noticed her tired eyes and the worn wrinkles around her mouth.

      "Mom, honestly." The Peophin waved her hand at her mother's remark as if it were a flightning bug. "It's like, sometimes I don't even think you care."

      "Of course I do, sweetheart. It's just that ever since I got fired-"

      "Oh!" the Peophin interjected, now facing her mother. "Now here you go making it about yourself!"

     I felt completely awkward standing here, listening to this Chia's daughter being disrespectful beyond imagination. No wonder this Chia doesn't take care of herself. She is too busy tending her high maintenance daughter. Suffice to say, she had way too much going on in her own household to pay any attention what-so-ever to her wardrobe. I stopped listening after a while, because that was the polite thing to do, until the Chia said to me, "Okay, she will have a manicure, pedicure, facial and haircut, please."

     "Thank you," the Peophin said to her mother in a way that wasn't thankful at all, only in the way that she was entitled to it.

     As I took her to the swivel chair, I noticed her mother looking at herself in the mirror, poking at the dark spots underneath her eyes and stroking the thin hair that was on top of her narrow head. She wasn't looking at herself approvingly, no, and if I had to describe it, she had this disgusted look in her eyes as she stared back at her reflection.

      "Haircut first, please." The Peophin cut in my thoughts with a command. "A few inches. Maybe three. Don't add in any of that hairspray over there- it makes my hair too shiny. Seriously, why do you people even use it? It's not like anyone asks for it..." She droned on while I cut her hair, and I added in some 'uh huh's and some 'I agree's while I wasn't paying any attention to her, but to her mother, who sat in the adjacent swivel chair, still looking in the mirror. It seemed like she didn't even blink, like she was trying to take it all in.

      "Hey! Not so short off the bangs, I'll look like a boy!" the Peophin yelled, and I instantly backed away with my hoofs up.

      "Sorry.. I..." And before I could think of something else to say, I ended up saying, "I really like your scarf."

      The Peophin looked up at me with a scrutinizing eyes. "This? It's a joke. My mom got it for me for my birthday yesterday and I'm only wearing it so she'll stop bugging me about it."

     I then looked over to her mom to see her reaction to this remark, but she was still staring at herself.

      "Well, I like it," I said. "I mean, it's..." I didn't quite know how to finish the sentence.

      "Ugly," she finished for me.

     The Peophin reminded me too much of a more conceited and selfish version of... me. It's like everything that she said were things that I would think, but I had the courtesy and the filter system well enough not to do so.

      "I mean," she continued on as I evened her bangs. "Why do they even sell it anymore? Nobody buys it. Well, except for my mother who will buy anything under 400 NP. How many do they have sitting there in stock right now? Like, forty? It's ridiculous."

     When she said this, it wasn't her voice I heard, but mine, earlier today at Uni's Clothing. I suddenly hated what I'd said... after all, the scarf wasn't too bad...

      "All done," I said. "I don't do mani-pedis, so you'll have to go over to Lisa over there to get that done." I pointed out the red Elephante on the other side of the room. The Peophin stood up, and headed over there, while nonchalantly shaking off the scarf at the same time.

      "Miss," I said under my breath, trying to address the yellow Chia and the awful muumuu.

     She spun around to look at me, surprised.

      "Um, would you like a makeover, perchance?"

     Again, she seemed surprised. "Um, well- I dunno..."

      "I mean, your daughter get's some royal treatment today, but, how about you?"

      "I, um, I-" she stammered.

      "My treat. Some makeup and a haircut wont hurt my paycheck this week too much. A few neopoints here and there. How about it?"

     The Chia looked at me, and then in the mirror. "Yes, I think... I think I will enjoy that." She sat in my chair, and smiled at my reflection. "Thank you very much."

      "No problem."

     After I carefully applied some pink blush to her cheeks, bronze eye shadow to her eye, and a nude lip color, I combed her hair back into a sleek clip, and she looked younger- like, didn't have an overbearing daughter younger.

      "Wow," she said as she looked at herself. And she looked differently- with no disgust at all.

      "You're just missing one thing..." I replied.

      "What's that?"

     I walked to the middle of the floor, and picked up the blue and yellow scarf her daughter had swiftly shimmied off. I wrapped the scarf securely and confidently around her neck, and, happy to say- it matched the muumuu perfectly.

The End

Thanks for reading!! ^^

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