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45 Things You Should Do in Your Neopian Lifetime

by wildwindtornado


Hello there, fellow Neopians, I’m Sylva. As this is the 450th edition of the Neopian Times, I thought it would be nice to do something special for it so I am going to guide you through 45 things you should do in your Neopian lifetime. I would have done 450, but let’s face it; by the time I had finished listing them all, the 450th issue would have probably have been long gone. Plus, I don’t want to bore you to death; I knew a Lenny that did that once to someone... but that’s another story.

So anyway, here are 45 things you should do in your Neopian lifetime. Please note these are not in any particular order of importance or anything boring like that. Okay, three, two, one... oh and please try and stay awake through this, thanks, and here we go.

1: Get published in the Neopian Times - Let’s start with a suitable one. Getting a piece of work into Neopia’s most famous newspaper, man, that’s cool and what a sense of achievement. Some Neopians have a few pieces in it, where others are just plain regulars to the NT.

2: Earn a million – Everyone should do this in their lifetime. Slowly saving up and then finally reaching that magic number. There is no better feeling! Of course, after that I just blew it all on PBs and gallery items, but hey, what’s the point of saving it and then not spending it?

3: Earn some avatars – Why? Well, for one: they are super cool, and two: avatars are the perfect way to make a good impression on the boards. It’s the first thing people look at, so if you want to make a good impression, get some cool avvies!

4: Earn some game trophies – Everyone loves games and I’m sure everyone loves to show off as well secretly (I know I do!), so earning some game trophies is the perfect way to do so, plus you get a nice sense of achievement. *looks in my gaming cabinet and dies of embarrassment* Eh... what can I say? I’m terrible with gaming.

5: Run a gallery – Everyone should run at least one gallery in their lifetime; it’s so much fun to collect things, whether it be a certain collection of items or just random things. Sure, it’s hard work, but at the end of the day, you can look and have something amazing that you can be really proud of.

6: Build and decorate your Neohome: Now having a beautiful cosy Neohome is a dream I would think most Neopians would have, unless you one of those types who likes to camp under the stars, which is nice until the storm arrives and you get drowned in rain.

7: Join a guild – Man, I have been in so many guilds now, it’s like been there, done that, got the T-shirt literally. Still, guilds can be super fun if you join the right one and believe me, you will regret it if you don’t join one and get the experience.

8: Fight in the Battledome – Ah, there isn’t much which can be compared to the intensity of the Battledome. What an adrenaline rush; two opponents locked in the heat of battle and there can only be one winner... I personally don’t battle a lot, except for the time Boochi almost hit me with his gun; believe me I taught that little brat a lesson.

9: Participate in the Altador Cup – Oh my, if you haven’t done this already, what in the Meepits have you been doing all these years! Have you been in hibernation? Have you been kidnapped by pirates and only released now? Been watching paint dry? Shame on you!

10: Complete the Altador Plot – Neopia’s super ancient *cough* much like Finneus *cough* plot is a must for completion. Think about it; you get trophies, prizes and not to mention you get to be a hero and save the land of Altador. That’s pretty awesome, you have to admit.

Those 10 things were just some general things, but now I’m going to look at what kind of fun and crazy things you can be doing in the individual lands.


11: Visit the Hall of Heroes – Altador’s most famous monument containing the 12 heroes of the city (well 11 now since one of them wasn’t that heroic...). The hall is also home to a world-class observatory as well as the council chamber, so it's well worth a visit, but whatever you do, don’t touch that button! That janitor needs some serious anger management sessions...


12: Have a spin on the Wheel of Knowledge – The most expensive wheel in the whole of Neopia at 500 NP per spin (what do you expect, it’s Brightvale!) but if you're lucky, you may just get that exclusive Brightvale avatar or an expensive scroll.


13: Place a bet on a Poogle Race – Faerieland has been home to Poogle racing for years and it is one of the most popular betting games in the whole of Neopia, so if you're feeling lucky, place a bet. You never know; you might win big.

14: Buy something from the Hidden Tower – The Hidden Tower contains lots of expensive and rare items, including Baby, Royal and Darigan Paint Brushes and plus, you get a Queen Fyora avatar for shopping there, how cool!

15: Take a dip in the Rainbow Fountain – Every pet should do this in his or her lifetime, but the sad fact is most pets are unable to due to the evil that is the Fountain Faerie and her stinginess in giving out quests, because, of course, you need to complete one to gain access to the fountain. Luckily, I was granted one a few years ago and got painted Pirate at the time, which was awesome until I had my awful accident in Tyrannia (got impaled on a microphone, ouch!) and got turned back into a ghost.

Haunted Woods:

16: Have a spooky Halloween – The Haunted Woods is the place to be at Halloween, no doubt about it. No other land can match it. Ghosts, vampires, zombies, bewitched pumpkins, bobbing for apples, trick-o-treating, dressing up, bonfires, spooky stories and much more. If you haven’t spent a Halloween in the Haunted Woods, trust me, you haven’t lived yet!

17: Visit the Deserted Fairground – Totally spooky and creepy, but if you can summon up the courage to visit, you should, as the fairground has many attractions, including the Wheel of Misfortune (one unfriendly wheel), Test Your Strength, which I just own because I’m so macho *coughs*, Coconut Shy, which is just a total con because we all know that guy has access to superglue, and the Carnival of Terror, where you get attacked by robotic Chia Clowns.

18: Visit the once cursed city of Neovia – Neovia, the name itself sounds quite pleasant. Neovia was once cast under a terrible curse; however, the city was saved and the city restored to its former glory. Whilst I will admit there isn’t much to do in Neovia, it does have a few odd places worth visiting and compared to the gloomy Haunted Woods, it’s a charming, cosy place and that is saying something.

Kiko Lake:

19: Take a boat tour – Ah, Kiko Lake, the home of the world famous Glass Bottom Boat Tours. Kiko Lake isn’t a very big place, so as you imagine, there isn’t a lot to do, but if you visiting, you have to take a boat tour. It is amazing! With the glass bottom, you get to see everything that Kiko Lake has to offer, such as the beautiful corals, the charming houses and vivid seaweed gardens. Well worth a trip!

Krawk Island:

20: Eat at the Golden Dubloon – The Golden Dubloon is Krawk Island’s one and only dining establishment on the entire island, serving the finest of pirate cuisine on the whole of the high seas. The Golden Dubloon offers a great atmosphere for both pirates and landlubbers alike. I should know as I have often got quite merry in the Golden Dubloon at night with everyone singing pirate chants and dancing to cheery melodies.

21: Purchase something from the Smugglers Cove – Those smugglers are so secretive, aren’t they? But if you get lucky, they may share their rare treasure with you for a hefty price. I personally haven’t had any dealings with them myself, but if you get chance, you should try to buy something, as I heard the items they have can be worth quite a bit.

22: Train at the Academy - Cap'n Threelegs' Swashbuckling Academy is one of the most famous training centres in the whole of Neopia, taking pets up to Level 40. There are only two rules that the Captain implies and those are: all courses need to be paid for using dubloons and he needs to see the colour of the money before training starts. A bit strange, I know, but if you want to be strong and powerful in the Battledome, this is the place to visit.


23: Investigate the Meteor – A Meteor fell down from the heavens and crashed into Kreludor a few years ago. Naturally, the Meteor became a local tourist attraction with people taking photos with it and poking it with a stick with the possibility of getting prizes from it. If you visit Kreludor, the Meteor is worth checking out.

Lost Desert:

24: Visit Coltzan’s Shrine – This massive tall obelisk located in the middle of the desert pays respect to the former King of Sakhmet, King Coltzan III. His spirit inhabits the shrine and he often gives out prizes and blessings to people who pray there. Definitely worth visiting, providing, of course, you can find it and don’t get caught up in a sandstorm.

25: Go shopping in Sakhmet – This is a must if you are in the Lost Desert. Sakhmet is home to a thriving marketplace full of stalls and merchants selling amounts of various items such as exotic foods, strange petpets, rare trinkets, all sorts. Make sure you take lots of neopoints as you are bound to buy something.

26: Host a super Tug-O-War competition – Yep, you heard me, host a super Tug-O-War competition. Doesn’t that sound like heaps of fun? Tug-O-War is one of the Lost Desert’s oldest pastimes and the more people there is to join in, the better!


27: Go fishing – What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word Maraqua? Fish, of course, and Maraqua is home to the most perfect underwater caves ever which allow people to underwater fish to their heart’s content. Personally I love to fish, I find it relaxing... well, most of the time. Once I caught this Chaosfish which would just not sit still; it was just so annoying I ended up throwing it back into the water.

28: Go scuba-diving – The Maraqua is home to the most beautiful coral reefs in the entire of Neopia as well as magnificent shells and stunning scenery. Scuba-diving is a great chance to allow you to explore the wonders of the Maraqua and you never know what you might find.

29: Dine out at the Kelp – The Kelp is not only Maraqua’s finest restaurant, but it is one of Neopia’s finest as well. Expensive, to say the least, but very classy and extremely busy, which makes it the most exclusive restaurant in the whole of Neopia, as it is super hard to get a reservation. Of course, I have dined there many times before... *coughs*


30: Play a game of Cheeseroller - Those Meridellians are amused by the simplest of things... In Cheeseroller, you basically purchase a piece of cheese and then you roll it down the hill as fast you can. Don’t ask me what the logic is behind the madness, because I honestly don’t know, but if you're visiting Meridell, you might as well give it a go, plus there is also the possibility of acquiring an avatar so go roll, all you avvie collectors.


31: Explore the new land – Moltara, of course, is the recently discovered land in Neopia, so if you haven’t already checked out, go ahead and explore and have some adventure. Be warned, though; it can get quite hot down there. The place really needs air conditioning!

Mystery Island:

32: Climb Techo Mountain – Techo Mountain is one of the 16 wonders of Neopia as listed in the tour guide. Only a handful of people have actually managed to climb it, but the view on the top of the mountain is breath-taking and totally worth the trip. Do beware, though; it is an active volcano, so check its status before you go tearing up there.

33: Relax on the beach – Mystery Island (my homeland, wahoo!) is famous for a lot of reasons; one of them is of course the gorgeous beaches. The entire island has beaches on its coastline and each one of them just perfect to relax on and enjoy the scenery, plus it’s great for playing volleyball as the sand makes for a soft landing.

34: Explore the Lost City of Geraptiku – I love the Lost City of Geraptiku, my entire family is descended from the Geraptiku Royal Family (long story!). The Lost City has very few features such as the Petpet Shop and games such as Goparokko. However, the Deserted Tomb is definitely worth checking out if you're quite the adventurer.

Roo Island:

35: Play Dice-A-Roo – Dice-A-Roo was invented by King Roo himself and it is quite the game of chance and luck. I would recommend anyone to play, though, as it is fantastic fun to play and super exciting to see what you are going to roll on. Will you level up or will you get the skull and bones and it will be game over, or maybe you just might be lucky enough to win that jackpot?


36: Board the Cyodrake’s Gaze – What a magnificent ship! I’m sure if you asked Captain Tuan nicely, he would allow you to have a quick tour around the ship. It is such a beautiful ship... *drools at it* I want it!

37: Visit the Lunar Temple – Ah, the Lunar Temple is the perfect place to visit if you are interested in astronomy and the stars. The wise old Gnorbu who lives there is in charge of maintaining Shenkuu’s lunar calendar. Plus, if you win his challenge, you can win a little prize to take home as a souvenir.

38: Visit the Magical Cooking Vessel – Home to the great Chef Bonju, the vessel works similar to the Cooking Pot on Mystery Island. Unfortunately, no recipes have yet been uncovered for the pot apart from the one for the actual Bonju avatar which was eventually discovered and caused avatar collectors all around Neopia to go crazy...

Terror Mountain:

39: Have a merry little Christmas in Happy Valley – Just like the Haunted Woods, Happy Valley is the perfect place to stay for Christmas. It has such a sweet, cosy atmosphere with the Advent Calendar taking place and various other things such as ice skating, making snowmen, carolling etc. If you spend just one Christmas in Happy Valley, you will not regret it.

40: Sneak into the Snowager’s Lair – They say life is too short not to take a few risks. Well, if you sneak into the Snowager’s Lair and come back out alive, believe me, you have filled your quota of risk up for life. The Snowager, or Snowy as I like to call him, sleeps for most the day and guards a vast pile of treasure. If you can get past him, the treasure is yours for the taking. If you don’t, though...

41: Host a massive snowball fight – A snowball fight with a few of your mates in the snow is super fun, right? Imagine what it would be like to host a massive one on top of Terror Mountain with everybody joining in, including Taelia and Tarla... how epic! *lobs snowball at you*


42: Go to a concert – Tyrannia is the capital land for bands and music with its massive concert hall being able to fit 10,000 people in it and offering a variety of bands such as the Blue Kacheek Group, Jazzmosis, Jub Zambra and the Cobrall Charmers, M*YNCI, Twisted Roses, Yes Boy Ice Cream and many more. If you love music and rocking out until you pass out, this is the place to visit.

43: Take a piece of the Giant Omelette – Firstly, I just have got to say, I totally respect the dinosaur that had to lay that egg; it’s massive. The Giant Omelette provides food for the entire of Tyrannia and it’s certainly a sight worth seeing.

Virtupets Space Station:

44: Play Splat-A-Sloth – Why? Because it feels good, that’s why. Anyway, it makes for a great stress reliever. Too bad we cannot smack the real one like that for real instead... EVIL SLOTH!

And lastly...

45: Invite 450 Meepits and Weewoos as well as TNT and have a fantastic 450th party – You have to admit, that sounds like one epic, wild idea and I so know you want an invite. *sends invites through the post*

Well, that’s basically it, the end of the article. Man, I feel like a travel agent after all that free advertising... I hope you enjoyed reading and I hope I didn’t put you to sleep. I hope you do go out and try some of the things listed but if you do and something goes wrong, don’t blame me! I guess (I really should know since I’m the one who wrote it!) the point of the article was to convey to you what an interesting, fun and beautiful place Neopia is to live in and most people forget that which is a shame, we should be proud of our fine world.

Anyway, that’s it, folks, so if you excuse me, I’m hitting the beach to go relax. Surf’s up, dudes!

Sylva Tornado

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