“RAAHHH!!!” I screamed, throwing down the edition of The Neopian Times I was reading. Its pages went flying everywhere.
“WHAT! WHAT IS IT!” my owner Lexi screamed from the kitchen, running into the living room of our small neohome wielding a wooden spoon like a sword and wearing a “kiss the cook” apron.
“Don’t worry about it,” my sister Zalvima, a brown Peophin, said, barely looking up from her book. Her tail twitched back and forth at the disturbance.
“What happened, Aurorizelle?” Lexi asked, concerned, putting down her spoon.
“Nothing,” I said, brushing my newly zapped yellow tail across my paws. My owner had recently gotten access to the Secret Lab Ray. Yay. My cousin Luzarii was zapped desert on the first try, while Zalvima was zapped brown. I’ve gone from being magma to blue, and now to yellow, with many “nothing happens...” along the way; at least I’m still a Xweetok.
I went past Lexi to my room where I sat on my small bed thinking. And maybe I’m over thinking as my brain made its way back to the edition of the Times that I was reading. I was just reading a story about faeries, and the one question that’s never been answered popped in my head while I was reading it. How do all these people explain the water faeries walking or running down hallways or stairs! I just don’t get it!
“Try not to worry about things.” Lexi’s voice floated under the crack of my closed bedroom door.
“How does she do that?!?” I muttered.
“I’m a mother.”
I sighed, thinking about what she said. The strange faerie logic wasn't what really was getting me down. I just... AHH! I don't even know! I guess it started with getting new siblings. I was Lexi’s first pet. When she’d created me as a new blue Xweetok, I didn’t mind being an only child. Life was easier on Lexi to feed just one pet and I got to spend more time with her. Life was good. Lexi tried to save up money so she could paint me. Unfortunately, that didn’t work; everything was just too expensive. Then Lexi adopted our cousin Luzarii from her sister who was about to pound the poor thing. Afterward Lexi created Zalvima, and took in the poor spoof neopet her sister created. She's a really nice person, and she just couldn't let them get sent to the pound. It's not that I don't like them; I do! Just... well, I'll get to that later. Lexi finally used the last of her neopoints that she had saved for so long to get the Lab Map pieces.
I guess if you get down to it, I’m just jealous. What with Luzarii being painted desert and Zalvima being painted brown. Before I had gotten all my new sisters, I had been able to sneak by the guard at the magma pool and get painted magma, but the lab ray zapped me back to a boring color. Just my luck. Now I feel boring, like I'm not good enough for Lexi. She's having it hard enough; it would be easier if she got rid of one of us, and why not the boring colored pet...
“It’s just not fair... why am I so boring...”
“I’m hurt,” Lexi said teasingly, making me jump out of my fur since I hadn’t heard her come in and sit on my bed.
“You’re not a boring color,” she said seriously this time.
“But I’m yellow,” I tried to explain. “Being painted one of the starter colors means I’m boring!”
“So the sun is boring since it’s yellow?”
“Wha-?” I tried to say but Lexi cut me off.
“So light faeries are boring because they’re yellow?” she said, standing and putting her hands on her hips. “ The fountain faerie is boring because she’s blue? I’m boring because I have green eyes?”
“King Skarl is boring because he’s blue! Or King Hagan is boring because he’s green!” Lexi said, getting loud now.
“For Fyora’s sake, NO!” I said, trying to make myself heard over my owner's exclamations. She would wake the neighbors! They've already complained about us a few times.
"WELL, WHY NOT! THEY'RE BORING COLORS!"
“They’re not boring because their color doesn’t change the great things they’ve done, and their color doesn’t change who they are inside!” I said, raising my voice now. Lexi raised her eyebrows as I realized what I’d said.
“I guess I shouldn’t be upset with my color,” I said, smiling at how Lexi had tricked me.
"You just got over what I like to call PCDS. Pet Color Depression Syndrome, which should be listed at the Neopian Hospital," Lexi said, smiling. "It's a terrible illness that many Neopians suffer from, and usually never get over. They get so consumed by trying to get the best colors that they forget about the pet under the color. I'm glad you're all better now, though."
"Sounds like it should be listed in the Neopian Hospital," I said as both of us started laughing without being able to stop. Soon Luzarii and Zalvima started yelling at us to be quiet while all the neighbors' lights came on and we started to hear shouts from across the yard.
"That sounds like a good idea, though," Lexi said when we were finished. She got a sneaky gleam in her eyes and I knew something was going to happen.
A few days later when I picked up a copy of the new Neopian Times I saw what the sneaky gleam in Lexi's eyes was as I skimmed the article titles. As I read the article I started laughing, pets and owners on the street staring at me.
Pet Color Depression Syndrome: an Epidemic
This terrible disease affects both neopets and their owners. They become obsessed with the color of their pets, petpets, or selves while forgetting that color does not make the pet. Unfortunately this terrible illness has no known cure except a sudden realization that COLOR IS NOT EVERYTHING!!! If you think you might have Color Depression Syndrome, do not panic! Consult your therapist and try for an epiphany.
"I'm surprised that you got that published, and this quick," I told Lexi as I got home.
"Well, it was either this or they had to fill the spot with another Magma Pool comic," Lexi said, laughing as Luzarii and Zalvima took the paper from me and read our owner's work.
“Don’t articles have to be at least 1,000 words long?” Luzarii asked.
“Are you trying to be funny with this? Because this isn’t a real disease,” the ever humorless Zalvima asked critically.
"I think it's great!" I said quickly as I saw Lexi's smile start to drop. "This is really a terrible disease and this could help thousands of pets and owners who suffer from this disease!!" Zalvima and Luzarii just looked at me while Lexi smiled even brighter and gave me a giant hug.
"Yeah!" Lexi yelled. "Now how about we all go to Kelp to celebrate my article getting into the Times!" Lexi said, but when Zalvima whispered the cheapest thing's price at Kelp, she backtracked and said, "HOW ABOUT PIZAROO AND A SMOOTHIE!!"
If you're reading this, not only did I get into the Times, but you hopefully are not suffering from this disease! :)