Still thwarting Sloth's mind control... Circulation: 181,285,215 Issue: 442 | 7th day of Hunting, Y12
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Training BeautysBeat

by pretsel_is_back


BeautysBeat, my red Uni, has always been known in my family as a tough Battledomer. She has defeated the Ghost Lupe, Mr. Chuckles, and even that creepy-looking Chia Clown. *Shudder*

     But what happened to her before she became a Battledome fighter?

     Well, it’s best to explain through story.

     --Monday Morning--

     BeautysBeat strutted out of her bedroom Monday morning. Her mane was ingeniously pulled back by her Ornamental Shenkuu Headband. Her tail swished happily. Her hooves were shoved into her Dark Princess Shoes that glistened in the morning light. Beauty walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

     Meanwhile, Zerpana walked to the bathroom, still half-asleep. She looked almost like a zombie, from how she was walking. Zerpana knocked on the door.

     “Don’t come in!” Beauty screeched.

     Zerpana, now fully awake, kicked the door.

     “You better not stay in there an hour today!” Zerpana yelled at her through the door.

     “I won’t,” Beauty promised. “I’ll be out in five minutes.”

     --45 minutes later--

     Beauty finally walked out of the bathroom. Zerpana stormed into it and slammed the door. Suddenly, Beauty heard multiple coughs and the sound of hairspray, and Zerpana crawled out, breathing heavily.

     “Oh, COME ON,” Beauty said. “Did a little aerosol ever hurt anyone?”

     Zerpana stormed away. Beauty ran back into the bathroom.

     “How foolish of me,” Beauty yelled at herself. “I forgot to apply lipstick!”

      Aratemese, my green Xweetok, knocked on the door.

     “WHAT?” Beauty shouted.

     “You were too busy smushing makeup in your face to realize you were going to be late for school,” Ara said matter-of-factly.

     Beauty groaned. She trudged out of the bathroom and downstairs. Ara grabbed her Jeran backpack, and Beauty’s backpack, and ran downstairs, as well. Dustinany, my blue Tuskaninny, stood outside on the front porch, and motioned for them to come out. Zerpana stood beside him, doing the same. Beauty walked out, alongside Ara, and the four walked down the street and to the school.

     --At school--

     Miss Myers, Beauty and Dustinany’s gym teacher, blew her loud whistle. Beauty, the only one not wearing the required gym clothes, stood in a straight line with the others. Dustinany’s eyes popped open.

     “Beauty,” Dustinany warned, “you’re supposed to be wearing your gym clothes.”

     “Why?” Beauty questioned. “Horizontal stripes are SO last season. Besides, blue and red totally clash with each other.”

     Miss Myers shot Beauty a glare.

     “Going against gym dress code is one demerit, Miss Beauty. I’ll let you off with a warning for now, but next time you dress in THAT...”

     Miss Myers pointed to Beauty’s Cute Space Dress and Ornamental Shenkuu Headband in disgust.

     “...You’ll be in detention for a week.”

     “And you’ll be laughed at for a week in THOSE gym clothes,” Beauty said with her hooves crossed.

     Miss Myers sneered.

     “I've got my eye on you, Miss Beauty. Don’t disappoint me.”

     Miss Myers blew her whistle.

     “Okay,” she said to the class. “Today we’ll be doing twice as many stretches as before.”

     The class groaned, with Beauty groaned the hardest.

     “Start with twenty push-ups. GO!”

     Beauty dropped to the ground. She pushed off the ground with her arms when...


     Beauty noticed that she chipped a hoof. She screamed. Miss Myers glared at her. Dustinany rolled her eyes.

     “Miss Myers!” Beauty exclaimed. “I HAVE to go to the bathroom! This is an EMERGENCY!!!”

     Miss Myers grunted in frustration.

     “Just go, already! Get out of my sight! Be back in five minutes, tops!”

     Beauty hugged her, screamed “THANK YOU!” and began to run out of the gym. Miss Myers stopped her.

     “Just, when you get back, be prepared to get down and dirty.” Miss Myers said with a mischievous grin spread across her face.

     --After Beauty came back from the bathroom--

     Beauty jogged back into the gym. Miss Myers grinned.

     “Welcome,” she said, “to the obstacle course.”

     Beauty gasped. She wanted to scream, but she couldn’t. The obstacle course consisted of a rock wall (that shot out Ummagine Juice), swinging balls they had to avoid (or they’d fall into mud), and a vat of Chili Chia Hot Sauce to swim through.

     “You have one minute to complete it,” Miss Myers told Beauty.

     Beauty ran to the start of the obstacle course. She gulped. All this juice, mud and Hot Sauce could ruin her entire outfit! Oh, and her fur would be so messy...

     “GO!” Miss Myers screamed.

     Beauty ran to the rock wall. She slowly climbed up. Ummagine Juice spilled all over her Cute Space Dress, turning it from pink to purple. Beauty finally made it over the rock wall and ran towards the swinging balls.

     The big black balls swung from the ceiling. Beauty ran past the first one okay, but was knocked into the mud by the second. Know her dress was brown and purple, with her face to match. Beauty ran out of the swinging balls and towards the vat of Chili Chia Hot Sauce.

     She hopped into the vat and swam across. The hot sauce seeped into her shoes and coated her hooves. Her Ornamental Shenkuu Headband was covered in red. She climbed out of the vat and stood next to Miss Myers, sobbing.

     Beauty’s fur was a dingy brown mixed with red. Her Cute Space Dress looked ugly and soggy. Her Dark Princess Shoes had Chili Chia Hot Sauce spilling from them.

     Beauty couldn’t take it. So many things out there could make her ugly, she realized. Well, Beauty thought, I guess I’ll never leave home again.

     BeautysBeat ran out of the gym and out of the school, and raced to her home, crying.

     --At Home--

     Sitting in our Straw Sofa, I read the Neopian Times. I glanced at the clock. It wasn’t time for Zerpana, Dustinany, Beauty or Ara to come home yet. It was just 10 o’clock NST.

     Suddenly, Beauty burst through the door. I stood in shock. She was filthy, and that does NOT happen to Beauty. Ever.

     “Beauty, what happened to you?” I exclaimed.

     Beauty scrunched her face into a sneer.

     “Gym class happened to me!”

     The red Uni ran upstairs. I ran after her.

     “Stop running!” I said.

     Beauty ignored me and slammed the door to the bathroom. I heard a ‘Click Click’ noise. I tried to open the door, but I then realized what Beauty did.

     She locked the door.

     “BeautysBeat, you open this door RIGHT NOW!” I yelled.

     “No!” Beauty shouted back.

     She shoved her ruined clothes through the door and in front of my feet.

     “Can you hand me my Holiday Mystery Island Shirt and blue jeans from my room?” Beauty asked. “Oh, and wash the clothes I gave you, while you’re busy.”

     “Beauty, you can’t stay in there forever,” I reminded her.

     “Watch me,” Beauty said.

     --Three days later--

     Dustinany impatiently knocked on the bathroom door.

     “I’m not coming out!” Beauty said.

     Dustinany let out a loud cry and stormed into my bedroom. I looked up from my pile of Neomail I forgot to throw out and at the Tuskaninny.

     “Okay, Pretzel, please add another bathroom to this house. I haven’t brushed my teeth in days because she was in there!”

     Okay, ewww. Shaking off what Dustinany just told me, I walked to the bathroom and pounded on the door.

     “Beauty, open this door or I’ll take a Darigan Spike Ball to it!” I threatened.

     Beauty--as I had expected--opened the door instantly.

     “You can’t stay in here forever,” I told her.

     “Why can’t I?” Beauty asked.

     “You can’t because you aren’t the only one in this household! Other people need to use this bathroom, too,” I snapped.

     Beauty looked down sorrowfully.

     “But I can’t go back out! There are so many things that will make me uglier!” Beauty complained.

     Suddenly, an idea hatched into my brain.

     “Come on, Beauty,” I said. “We’re going to Krawk Island!”

     --At Krawk Island--

     Beauty walked with me down the walkways of Krawk Island. Pirates plundered the shops, flocked around the Dubloon-O-Matic, and crowds rushed in and out of the Golden Dubloon.

     “Are we going shopping?” Beauty asked.

     “No,” I answered.

     “Are we going WINDOW shopping?” Beauty asked.

     “No,” I repeated.

     We kept walking through Krawk Island until...

     “This is the place!” I announced triumphantly.

     We stood in front of a white building with windows surrounding it. A brown door stood proudly before us.

     “But this is the Academy!” Beauty exclaimed, not believing what she saw.

     “I know,” I answered, opening the door.

     Beauty took a step back, saying, “Oh no.”

     “Oh yes,” I said, holding out One Dubloon Coin.

     Beauty growled as she followed me into Cap’n Threelegs’ Swashbuckling Academy.

     The floorboards beneath us creaked with each step. In the corner in the back, a blue Kacheek stabbed his sword into a Punchbag Sid Backpack. The old Eyrie, Cap’n Threelegs, walked/limped over to us.

     “Welcome to Cap’n Threelegs’ Swashbuckling Academy! Would ye like to sign yer Uni up for one a’ me courses?” Cap’n Threelegs asked.

     “Yes Cap’n.” I said. “I need one that will show Beauty here that it’s okay to get down and dirty sometimes.”

     Cap’n Threelegs scratched his beard thoughtfully. He shook his head.

     “Sorry, lassie. All I teach here are Strength, Defence, Agility, Endurance, and Level.”

     “Oh no,” Beauty said suddenly. “I chipped ANOTHER hoof!”

     She glared at me.

     “I KNEW this would happen if I came outside!”

     For a moment, Cap’n Threelegs just stared at Beauty. Then he shook his head and said, “Maybe I can have a special session with ‘er.”

     “Oh, thank you!” I told him. “That would be excellent!”

     Cap’n Threelegs led Beauty to a door, labeled, ‘Private Sessions.’ I smiled and walked out of the Academy.

     --During Beauty’s Private Session--

     “Alright, matey, ye must know there’s more to life than how pretty ye are,” Cap’n Threelegs began.

     Beauty sat in a chair, looking up at him.

     “If ye keep yerself locked up in yer room all yer life, ye will miss out on a lot a things.”

     “Like what?” Beauty asked.

     “All the things ye love,” Cap’n Threelegs said.

     “You mean my family, my friends, my petpet, Dorie?” Beauty asked.

     “Aye,” Cap’n replied, “And a lot more, too.”

     “What else would I lose?” Beauty asked.

     “The chance to try things ye never did before,” Cap’n said.

     “I always wanted to be a lead role in the school play,” Beauty said, thinking.

     “Think of yer greatest desires,” Cap’n said.

     “Seeing Twisted Roses live in concert,” Beauty said.

     “Yes,” Cap’n said.

     “Discovering what’s underneath the fog of Lutari Island!”


     “Being painted Brown! Finding a Fish Negg! Meeting Jeran and Lisha live and in person!”

     “Yes! Now, imagine havin’ to give all that up,” Cap’n said.

     Beauty blinked, and then looked at him.


     “Imagine havin’ to give all that up, just to look pretty,” Cap’n said.

     Beauty’s smile faded as she looked down at her clothes. Cap’n Threelegs was right. Why had she been so blind? She looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes.

     “Oh, Cap’n, you’re right! I feel terrible about this!”

     “It’s ok, lassie,” Cap’n assured her. “Just find somethin’ else ta fill yer time in place of tryin’ to look pretty.”

     Beauty thought a moment.

     “I have an Air Faerie Guitar from my birthday that I never used. I could learn how to play it!” she said excitedly.

     “That’s the spirit, lass!” Cap’n Threelegs said.

     “In fact,” Beauty said, her eyes twinkling at Cap’n Threelegs, “I think I might actually try Battledome fighting. I never liked to admit it, but I always thought it sounded fun to do.”

     Cap’n Threelegs laughed.

     “If ye need some trainin’, then, just stop by whenever ye like!” he said.

     “I will.” Beauty promised.

     Cap’n Threelegs walked with Beauty out to the Main Entrance, where I stood, waiting.

     “How’d it go?” I asked.

     “It went great!” Beauty exclaimed. “I’m going to come here tomorrow to do some training to boost up my Level!”

     “Thank you, Cap’n,” I told him.

     “No, lass, thank YOU,” Cap’n Threelegs told her.

     Beauty grinned.

     “I’ll see you tomorrow, Cap’n!” she called before walking out of the Academy.


     Well, there you have it. How my Uni rose from vain Uni to the family Battledome queen. Now, if you excuse me, I promised Beauty I’d take her to the Swashbuckling Academy today. I don’t want to let her down. *wink*

The End

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