Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 181,285,215 Issue: 442 | 7th day of Hunting, Y12
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Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Three

by orlando_bloom_bigfan


Also by shirahli

“I think, Your Majesty, that you are now wearing an excellent disguise. Nobody at all would recognise you besides me and that is only because I designed the disguise.”

     Sloth stared thoughtfully at his reflection in a small meepit mirror that Roger was holding up for him. He was wearing very bushy black eyebrows, star shaped glasses with a thick green rim, a bushy black moustache and beard, a wig of curly dark brown hair, an I love the Neopian Times T-Shirt, Lucky Fishing Trousers and a pair of Wellington Boots with 99 percent of the top missing to accommodate for his slight lack of legs. “Yes...” he said after a moment. “I agree. Nobody would ever recognise me.”

     “I was just wondering, Your Majesty Sir, how long have we had a Valentines Chia Plushie sitting on the floor?”

     Sloth spun around in surprise and disbelief to see where Charles was pointing. To his amazement, there it was, sitting in the corner in all its horrible pink love heart glory. He turned to glare suspiciously at Daisy.

     “Well, don’t look at me!” she snapped. “And if it isn’t anyone else’s...?” She looked around the room. Everyone shook their heads in disgust. “Well, if it isn’t anyone else’s, let’s throw it out. Fyora knows how it got in here.”

     Being nearest and the only one to be wearing gloves, Charles picked up the plushie gingerly with the tips of his paws and threw it as far as he could out the door. He then proceeded to remove his gloves and throw them out too. “In case they got infected,” he said.



     Dr. Sloth’s yell over the loud speaker system made everyone in the Space Station jump, and it sent Ralph running. Within what he hoped was two seconds he had reached Dr. Sloth’s office. “Yes, Master Your Majesty Sir? What can me do for you, sir?” he asked, breathless, his voice shaking.

     “Why, Ralph,” started Dr. Sloth, fuming, “why in Neopia did you disguise the listening device inside a Valentines Chia Plushie?!?” He picked up the little black listening box and shoved it next to Ralph’s ear. Ralph jumped back in surprise and then listened; the box was making a funny crackling noise. “Dead!” continued Dr. Sloth and proceeded to throw the box across the room, missing the dustbin by a few meters. “Completely dead. The meepits have smashed the other end. The Valentines Chia Plushie was a stupid idea, STUPID!”

     “But master your Lordship sir, the Valentines Chia Plushie was your idea!” exclaimed Ralph, taking one small step towards the door.

     “My idea? MY IDEA?” demanded Dr. Sloth, turning completely red.

     “Yes, sir. There was no meepit plushies in the store room so you said me should use the Valentines Chia Plushie cos it was the nearest thing we had!”

     “I would never say such a stupid thing! It was your idea! Donna, can you imagine me ever coming up with a stupid idea like that?” demanded Dr. Sloth. Donna looked guiltily at Ralph and shook her head slowly. “And I definitely did not come up with this exact idea, did I?” Again, Donna shook her head. “You see, Ralph, it was your stupid idea, not mine,” said Dr. Sloth, satisfied. “Now get out and don’t come back until you have captured Sloth!”


     His Majesty Lord King Sloth, or Bob as he insisted on being called while on holiday, sat on the beach of Mystery Island slowly applying some sun screen. He was wearing the same disguise as before, although now with the added benefit of a fishing hat. It was nice and peaceful on the beach. Sloth finished applying the sun screen, leaned back and smiled to himself. Nobody, absolutely nobody would find or recognise him here.

     “You is Sloth, isn’t you?” came an all too familiar squeaky voice from behind him. “Master said me should look for the one with the bad disguise. Sorry, but you has to come with me.” Sloth turned around just in time to see a blue Grundo pull out his small gadget saying ‘To the Space Station, version 3.56.’ The next second he was he was in Tyrannia.

     “Another faulty batch!” said Ralph in annoyance, throwing the device as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, considering his short arms, it only went two meters.


     “It appears, your Major Generals, that His Majesty King Sloth’s idea of a recruiting poster has worked!” exclaimed Lieutenant Matthew. Standing in front of him were enough meepits for nearly three platoons.

     “Good. Great. Excellent!” exclaimed Daisy. “Now can we please get on with sorting them out into our groups?”

     “Yes, yes, sorry, Major General,” said Lieutenant Matthew in a rush. He started to divide the large group of meepits into five smaller groups. How he was sorting them, nobody could tell; so it is probably best to say the meepits were randomly selected for their tasks. The meepits, of course, did not appreciate this and so for the next half hour there was much yelling and very little sorting. Daisy, Lily, Charles, Alex and Roger sat nearby relaxing in the sun, eating ice cream and letting Lieutenant Matthew do all the work.

     “You know,” commented Roger after a while. “With new recruits like these, it is a good thing we haven’t had any trouble from the feepits lately.”

     As the other four nodded in agreement, two feepits smirked from behind a nearby bush.


     “Where is that idiot Ralph?” complained Dr. Sloth. He was in an extra bad mood because the Space Station canteen had run out of hotdogs and wouldn’t be receiving the next batch for at least another ten minutes.

     “He is out trying to capture King Sloth,” said Donna softly, looking up from the large mess of clothes and rubbish she was cleaning from Dr. Sloth’s bedroom.

     “But he should be back by now! Check the tracking device and find out where in Neopia he is,” snapped Dr. Sloth in annoyance as his stomach rumbled.

     Donna dropped the bag of rubbish she was holding and walked over to one of the many computers Dr. Sloth had in his bedroom. She pressed a few buttons, waited as a large amount of green text flew across the screen and then typed in the four eight digit passwords required to log in. Dr. Sloth twiddled his thumbs impatiently. Once more green text had flown across the page, Donna pressed a few buttons on the screen and then typed in something that was evidently Ralph’s code number. A moment later a map of Neopia loaded, which Donna stared at very carefully. “Sir,” she said after a few seconds of zooming. “Ralph is in Tyrannia.”

     Dr. Sloth rolled his eyes. “He must be lost again. Go and get him, Donna.”


     “Guys, gather round, this could be important!”

     “And who gave you the authority to call a High Council Meeting?”

     “Well, someone has to call it, and I just so happen to be the one with the letter from Dr. Sloth!”

     “That’s only because you checked the mail box first.”

     “Oh, get on with it, I have better things to do than listen to you lot argue!”

     “Yeah, I need to get on with my experiments.”

     “We can’t start the meeting until Charles arrives!”

     “Oh, who cares about him?”

     “Don’t panic, everyone, I am here!”

     The meepits of the High Council settled down in their usual positions around the table, except for Sloth of course. Lily held up a letter and prepared to read it.

      “Dear Gang.

     Your stupid pink blob of a leader Sloth is currently here at the Space Station. He will not be released until you give me your Neopian Domination plans. My agent will arrive at 1 PM Neopian Standard Time today to collect them. I suggest you do not resist like your foolish leader did, because it will only make things worse for you.

     Yours Sincerely, Dr. Sloth – Neopia’s very soon to be leader.”

     “Right, guys,” said Daisy, wanting to say something. “We need to decide what is more important; King Sloth or our invasion plans?”

     “Just a minute, who gave you the right to say what we need to decide?” demanded Roger. “You aren’t our leader, you know!”

     “Because someone had to say it!” snapped Daisy impatiently. “None of us is leader, so we all have to work together or nothing will ever get done.”

     “She has a point, I suppose...” said Charles. “Anyway, when it comes to a choice between our glorious leader King Sloth or our invasion plans, for me there is never any contest.”

     “Yes, I agree,” said Alex, finally joining in the conversation. “The invasion plans win every time.”


     Two feepits crouched under a bush, just outside the Meepit High Council headquarters in the Haunted Woods. They were both wearing long fancy capes and a crown. “You ready, Helga?” asked the first one.

     “I was ready before you, George. Honestly, why do you have to fuss so much about how shiny your sword is?”

     “Leader George! Leader Helga!” Both feepits jumped as a third feepit crept silently up beside them.

     “What is it?” asked Leader George. “Is everyone in their positions?”

     “Yes, sir. Everyone is ready, sir. Just waiting for your signal to attack, sir.”

     “Well, get back to your catapults then!” snapped Leader Helga.

     From inside the High Council Headquarters, Roger, Alex, Charles, Lily and Daisy all faintly heard the unmistakable voice of the feepit leader George as he yelled the dreaded word; “ATTAAAAACK!!”

To be continued...

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Other Episodes

» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part One
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Two
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Four
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Five
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Six
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Seven
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Eight
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Nine
» Meepits vs Feepits... Vs Dr. Sloth: Part Ten

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