Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 188,131,375 Issue: 425 | 8th day of Sleeping, Y12
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

When Your Neopet Gets Old

by rck2002


Neopets has just celebrated its 10th birthday. May I take this moment to once again wish Neopets a happy birthday and many happy returns. OK, so 10 isn't really VERY old, so I am, perhaps, jumping the gun with this article, but who knows? Maybe certain Neopets age faster than others or perhaps they stay young forever! This article is to prepare you to set your Neopet into a comfortable retirement when the time comes (although helpfully not too soon). So on with the list!

1: Baby Paint Brush

Is there anyone who didn't see that coming? Really? Yes, it's obvious and yes, it's pricey, but the Baby Paint Brush is the one sure way to keep your Neopet feeling young and vibrant forever. Or at least they don't look a day older as they grow up, which is something Neopians are yet struggling to achieve. If a Baby Paint Brush is a little out of your price range, go looking for Boochi. Even if you don't find this mischievous baby-making Bruce, the experience of trying to track him down is bound to bring a bit of youthful spirit back to your pet.

If the Baby Paint Brush isn't going to be an option, however, the rest of the items I'm going to list should set your Neopet up well for the happiest retirement you could get them.

2: Kreludan Grundo Slippers

Where would any of us be without our slippers? All of us love our most comfortable bit of footwear and comfortable warm feet are essential to the elderly Neopet. These slippers are great for Neopets of all species. They come in two different colours, so it is easy to know which slipper goes on which foot (Orange always goes on the left foot) and the quirky design makes them fun for Neopets of any age to wear. At around 5.5k, they are at a good price too.

3: Queen Fyoras Rocking Chair

Ahh, the rocking chair. The perfect way for your Neopets to put their feet up and relax. This rocking chair is roomy and well cushioned and very comfortable. The wings on the back make for easier rocking and you will feel like you are floating on a cloud off to dreamland. This rocking chair was truly made for a queen and is sold for a very reasonable price of around 9k. Some grumpy old male Neopets say it looks like a chair made for a girl. Until they sit in it.

4: Carved Walking Stick

Is your Neopet finding it harder to get around by themselves? This elegant carved walking stick is the perfect walking aid for your pet. At 200k, it is a little pricey, but there are few walking sticks around and it is a small price to pay to make sure your pet can get around by himself. Perhaps you can get him an eyepatch and he can pretend to be a pirate.

5: Grarrl New Year Dentures

I would like to squash any rumours about this item being a toy now. Your elderly relative needs his supper and would like them back please. This is an essential item for your elderly pet Grarrl or any other species on New Year and all year round. Just look at that HUGE lovely grin with those teeth. Please wash these teeth in between your older pet wearing them and your younger pet playing with them.

6: Vegetable Deluxe

If your Dentures are still being used as a toy... you do still need to eat something. I'm not sure if the elderly was what those creative Grundos had in mind when they made this dish, but it is lovely and mushy and should just slip down. Note - this food is suitable for a pet of any age and is less humiliating than eating baby food just because you can't find your teeth. This dish is healthy as it is packed full of vegetables (hence the name) and at around 900 NP you cannot go wrong.

7: Bullseyes

A sweet treat your elderly pet will remember from when he was young. These were a favourite back in the day and one your pet can enjoy time and time again. Back when your pet was young, they probably didn't cost around 75k, but you get a good handful for that price and they should be quite enough as a treat.

8: Warm Green Blanket

As your Neopet gets older, they may start to feel the cold more. Rather than turning up the heating in your neohome until the heat is unbearable for everyone but your elderly pet, wrap them up in this cozy warm green blanket - the most comfortable soothing blanket around, which only costs about 3k. This blanket is also said to help soothe neomonia, but in my opinion, prevention is better than cure - if your Neopet already has this blanket, they shouldn't be so much at risk.

9: Coconut Cold Cream

As time goes on, our efforts to keep our skin pretty and soft get more and more desperate. It's harsh, but it's true. For those Neopets without the fur to cover it up, this truth is even more apparent. But you can try giving your pet some Coconut Cold Cream. I'm not sure how well it works, but at 950 NP, you may as well give it a go. It makes your skin smell lovely and coconutty anyway - Lovely!

10: Cup Of Tea

The perfect remedy for old age and ANYTHING in my book. A nice hot Cup Of Tea (preferably brewed up by someone else and served to me in bed). Give your pet plenty of this wonderful drink to get him up in the morning and keep him going all day long. And hey, why don't you REALLY spoil him and get him some biscuits or some lovely cake to go with it?

11: Scientist Wig

Are any of you Neopets starting to lose a little hair as you age? Or would those of you that never had hair like some? Then this wig is the perfect choice for you! I choose the Scientist Wig for many reasons; one being it is wearable by all. Another is that it is cheap. My main reason is that it is a wig for a scientist, and scientists are smart, so therefore wearing it makes you look younger AND smart. We want smart scientists, though, not mad scientists. If any of your pets start getting crazy looks in their eyes like that of the Lab Ray Scientist, it is PROBABLY the wig's fault and you should PROBABLY take it back off. Sorry.

12: Symol Powder Puff

This is a compact little item which means wherever you are, you will be able to freshen up. It only costs a little over 1k and the elderly Neopets are especially fond of this lovely powder. As the description states, though, your Neopet DOES still need to shower.

13: Neopian Times Issue 3

Most of us love to read the paper and to keep up with daily events. This is the third issue of the Neopian Times and will remind your Neopet of the happy events that were going on around Neopia at that time. These are given out as a booby prize from the Tombola. The Tiki Tack Man has been around Neopia a long time and probably when it came out, which is more than likely to be the reason why he has so many of them.

14: Woolen Jumper Knitting Set

This is probably going to favour the elderly lady Neopets more than the gentlemen, but there are few of the aged Neopets who haven't learnt how to knit. There are quite a few knitting sets around Neopia, but the jumper knitting set is the perfect one to show off some real skill. Cheap, fun and practical.

15: Brightvale: A Complete History

There are quite a few history books to spark your elderly Neopet's memory but none quite so complete as Brightvale: A Complete History. This stylish looking book includes all there is to know about one of Neopia's most historical lands. And this extra special book can update itself when new historical events occur in Brightvale. A truly fascinating read, which only costs around 10k.

16: Fluffy Sounding Speaker

This stylish purple speaker plays the most soothing saxophone music for your elderly Neopets to relax to. Looks great in the neohome and costs around 50k.

I'm going to go put the kettle on now; I'm not getting any younger myself sitting here writing to you all. I really hope you enjoyed reading!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


The Flavour of Thunder
Rufe loved how the air tasted when a really serious storm was brewing. It tasted like burnt popcorn – of excitement, and freedom, and the wild abandon of thunder rolling over the skies.

by mubris


Sayings from Fortune Cookies
Sage advice on dangerous situations.

by proudpony


Awesome Sauce ~ Hammers are not always the solution
R.I.P. Corn Pyramid. You will be missed deeply. :c

by picklecheesepie


The Wise Whoot: Guardian of the Elements - Part Six
Blaze sat there, stunned, looking over the Starry Lupe. "You're Star? You're Zihark's old master?"

by bluehamster9981

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.