There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 180,588,809 Issue: 410 | 18th day of Gathering, Y11
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How NOT to Spend the Annual Chocolate Ball

by 00baies_love00


Chokato lotion? Put it over there next to the mirrors. Oh yes, the pink blush looks marvellous there, Amelia, well done. YASMINA! What have I always told you about the brushes? BRISTLE SIDE UP! Honestly, if you want something done properly do it yourself -mumble- Oh, hello, darling! Ever so sorry, didn't see you there. How may I help you tod- pardon? This place, you say? W-what? What do you mean 'what is this place'?! Why, my dear child, this is Neopia's first and only Neo-chocolate Spa and Salon! Run by yours truly, Priscilla the Grooming Parlour Usul of course. ^^

What was that you said? No! Of course it's not the result of the Chocolate Factory explosion near my Grooming Parlour; how could I be so unhygienic? -nervous laugh- I know, why don't I take you on a tour of my beautiful salon and demonstrate how I use these fabulous chocolate products in some of my award winning treatments for you? Yes? Oh, fabulous! Come this way -grab-

10. Chocolate Pond

Ah, here we are at the first point of your tour - the chocolate pond! Oh it's so wonderful that you just can't help getting a little teary eyed when you see it, can you? No? Oh well, um -ahem-. Anyway, as I was saying, I'm sure you're very aware of what mud baths are. Well, they are so last year, darling, chocolate is what's in this season for smothering yourself with. You see all that beautiful, bubbling chocolate in there isn't just great for relaxing you by engulfing you in all its brown and boiling chocolateyness but it does absolute wonders for cleansing and smoothing your skin. Oh, you only have Kougras? Not to worry! The chocolate is so easy to comb out of all that hair- no? Okay, fine. Just come this way.

9. Caramel Hot Chocolate

Welcome to the hair section of my Salon/Spa! Here we cater to absolutely every single pet, even for those adorable little Bruces with there one strand of hair and especially for any Kougras who may come our way -grin- Cassandra, come here. This is Cassandra, one of my top stylists; she is FABULOUS! Well, of course she is; she works for me. Anyway, Cassandra, sit down so that I may show our esteemed guest here how this treatment works.

Now watch carefully, my dear. For this 'Caramel Chocolate' treatment I first need to take a mug of this scrumptious caramel hot chocolate (isn't it so delicious - smelling? Yummy yum yum, nom nom -drool-). Er, anyway, take a mug and apply the caramel hair mask to dry hair and leave it for a few minutes before pouring the hot chocolate itself over the hair and voila! Hair with a sheen so impossibly bright that you may find yourself going mad and squawking about Jelly World (not that there's anything wrong with squawking, of course, not to offend my dear Branston -nervous chuckle-).

8. Chocolate Bed

Ah, so you have Kougras then? I bet they're all dirty boys, eh? Love frolicking about in the meadows of Meridell and tumbling through heaps and heaps of the Gelert Farmer's dung, do they? Oh, they're serious scholars? Excellent! Even scholars need a bit of 'r and r' sometimes and I'm sure all that stress isn't very good for their marvellous brains, is it (you're sure they don't like the mud?)? Then this would be perfect for them - the Chocolate Bed Sauna; all that heat and steam is the perfect way to sweat out all those pores to give you sparkling skin, and if you're enjoying so much there's even time for a snooze! The perfect treatment to refresh their mind...

7. Chocolate Cannon Ball

...and if that wasn't enough, book a Chocolate Bed Sauna treatment and I'll even throw in a Chocolate Stone Massage, how's about that? After your darlings have cleansed their minds, we can help alleviate the stress of their studies with a relaxing 'Chocolate Stone Massage' using only the heaviest and chocolatey-est chocolate cannon balls in all of Neopia!

6. Comfy Chocolate Sofa

Okay, okay! Darling, please do stop criticising me, I do know what I'm doing and no, I have not forgotten the fact that you only have Kougras; I'm simply showing you everything in case you decide to bring a Chomby friend one day ^^ So anyway, this is something that is definitely Kougra friendly. I don't care whether they are scholars, teachers or even drop outs, there is no pet in Neopia who will say 'no' so a soothing massage after a hard day's work (or play) and we've even managed to drag a certain someone away from his games to be our head masseuse - AAA! Don't laugh! I may be a beauty but I certainly have brains too. Maybe it didn't occur to you but with all that gaming Mr Aristotle has developed the most AMAHZINGLY dextrous fingers; perfect for being a masseuse.

5. Hot Chocolate Dip

If there's one thing that is important to everyone (yes, even you) it's the face. First impressions are everything; that's how you make friends (and enemies, but we won't dwell on that), not to mention it is scientifically proven that more people will be inclined to speak with you if you don't look dishevelled. Honey, if you want to adopt any more pets in the future, you've gotta look your best so just come and speak with aunt Priscilla and I'll sort everything for you. What do I use? Hot chocolate of course! I just use high quality and high heat to singe all the impurities and- hey wait, I'm not finished!

4. Crystal Chocolate Fountain

Ah, now I have something here that everyone enjoys, Kougra or not. -glare- Now I'm sure you're a very hard worker (you must be to bring up four Kougras!) and I'm also pretty sure that whatever it is you do to earn NP to pay for your darlings' every need, it's not very easy on the hands, is it? I thought not; see, Priscilla knows all. Now then, if your hands are the heart and soul of your life, you don't want to be hurting them now, do you? No of course not, so what better than the finest chocolate in the land pumped from the 'Mysterious Imaginary Well of Mysterious Imaginary Chocolate World' to soothe, cleanse and cure those disgusting blisters in time for any working day?

3. Oozing Chocolate Heart

Ah now don't think I've forgotten the ladies; I'm pretty sure that you're often overwhelmed by your girls and their huge posse of friends so what better way to give yourself some peace and quiet by sending them along for a spa treatment, eh? You see, clever Priscilla here has thought of everything, starting with the makeover package. Now, we all know girls just LOVE being made up, tomboy or not, so we start the treatment with nail coloring.

If you would be so kind as to look this way, here you will see our vast collection of colorings kept fresh with the chocolate shell to give a clean and even finish. We keep a wide selection of colors from the classic jungle red to the more obscure shades of Byzantium purple. And as a gift, we give the girls we treat a 3 x 3 box of heart shaped colorings so that they have a sample of the Neo-Chocolate wherever they go. ^^ Ah, you want to know the secret of our multicolored Oozing Chocolate Heart fillings? Ah well, we have Terrence the Chocolate Factory Kiko to thank for that; we supply him with trade and in return he asks his secret contact in Jelly World to fill the chocolate hearts with different colored jelly nail colorings. Pardon? Of course Jelly World exists; it's the beauty industry's biggest secret. =)

2. Chocolate Lipstick

Come over here, my dear lime blossom, here is the final part of the makeover package - the makeover! Now this really is my forte, my being an expert beauty product dealer and all, so you can absolutely guarantee a fantabulous transformation using the best quality chocolate products. You see this chocolate lipstick here, Princess Fernypoo gave it to me and you know what she's like; only the best will do for her, the young madam. And how about this; maybe you don't know this, but King Hagan is very peculiar about his mustache, in fact I'll let you into a secret -whisper- it's not real. But you were convinced, huh? Obviously, that's because my supreme talents are second to none, and now he will only let little ol' me style it these days, that's how good I am. -grin-

1. Aisha Hot Chocolate

Sadness washes over me now, my dear, for this is the end of the tour- Whaddya mean 'finally'?! Humph, anyway, as I was saying, this is the sadly the end, but the very best part of the tour. I know what you've been thinking, that this is all ridiculous and so very time wasting, am I right? Never! But child, come this way and let me show you something that I'm sure you won't refuse. Perhaps I have been a little full on, dragging you into this without even asking. What I've got here is something we all have to calm ourselves here at the spa; just a little bit of warmth and snugness with oh so slight a hint of nostalgia - have a cuppa home made hot chocolate, love, (grandma's recipe) and enjoy the rest of the Chocolate Ball. =)

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