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Evil Overlord Fire vs. Neopian Hero Sky

by kreepyjess


Also by mineismine99

This is Sally Scorchio reporting live for NeoNewsNow (NNN), the most comprehensive newscast in the neoverse.

     For those just tuning in, we’re working on uncovering the series of events which led up to the mass hysteria that erupted earlier today in Neopia Central. It seems that there are two Chombies responsible for the mayhem, and our NNN investigative reporters have brought them into our studios for a press release. Ah, here comes the first perpetrator now... we will cut to his speech:

     [cuts to pirate Chomby on a podium]

     Hello my dearest Neopians! I’m Fire_in_Cairo but you probably know me as Fire...

     The Fierce... The Dangerous... The Future Overlord of the Universe... and let us not forget: The Dashingly Handsome!

     I spend my days plotting the conquest and destruction of the neoverse. Someday I shall RULE all you pathetic minions... err... I mean loyal subjects. I shall be the most handsome evil overlord that any Neopian could dream of! As my first order of business, I shall construct statues of myself in every Neopian marketplace.

     So far there has just been one small hitch in my plans of complete and utter domination of the neoverse, and that is my arch nemesis: Sky. This so called "hero" of the neoverse struts around in his Defenders of Neopia pajamas and plastic sheriff's badge as though he were a super hero. The truth is he idolizes me and is always following me around and getting in the way of my brilliant schemes!

     But his blundering ways are no match for my unrivaled charm, wit and just sheer perfection. I will someday soon overcome his petty hindrances and be the Supremely Handsome Supreme Ruler of Neopia! Muaahaha!

     ...and all of that is just my day job!

     My true passion lies in the more meaningful work I employ: I'm a male model. Yes, I know what you're thinking: 'How can someone so modest make it as a model?' But it's true. Fortunately my smashing good looks and irresistible charm make me a hit. I've been on the cover of countless issues of the Neopian Times, modeling the latest of fashions available in the NC Mall. It's a thankless job, but I take pleasure in knowing that my selfless acts of posing and strutting are bringing happiness and fashion awareness to the masses.

     But enough about me, I believe you came to hear about my latest attempt to take over the neoverse?

     It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, the birds were singing, and there was a rather handsome yellow Chomby gazing back at me from my reflection in the mirror. What better way for a day to start? It was the perfect day for the conquer and domination of the neoverse (once I could tear myself away from my reflection in the mirror that is).

     The plan was brilliant in its simplicity: Create a new pair of hypnotic goggles with internal electronic flashing LEDs which I could control from my secret lair. I would begin with the simple task of covertly sneaking into the TNT headquarters and bribing a staff member to make the object wearable. This would then be followed by convincing all the neopets that they MUST have the new flashing goggles by wearing them in all my most prominent NT ads and secretly funding my own endorsements for the goggles, so that the pets would beg and pester their owners to buy them some. All the while I would be spreading rumours throughout the Neoboards and the Trading Post that the flashing goggles are now the most "leet" item to restock and to put on your neopet.

     Then naturally I would move on to the trivial task of gaining control over the restock machine in Uni's Clothing Shop in order to make the goggles restock tens of thousands at a time so that they could be freely sniped up by the greedy and now goggle-hungry Neopians and be thrown hastily onto all the free pets of Neopia.

     And last but not least, once the rest of my brilliant plan had played out.... I was to throw the switch on my control panel which would then cause the electronic flashing LEDs of the goggles to pump subliminal messages into the minds of every unsuspecting fashion conscious neopet, forcing them to do my bidding and to worship me.

     It was foolproof! Neopia was soon to be putty in my hooves!

     My plan played out brilliantly. It went as flawlessly as you would expect any plan of mine to go, until the point where I was about to throw the switch and begin the mind control. This is when my arch nemesis Sky (who had been constantly following me around like an annoying kid brother) blundered into my secret lair and spilled a glass of water across the desk. The water pooled on the surface of my desk, causing the most beautiful sight in the neoverse to appear: my own reflection.

     Needless to say I was so enamored by my own image staring back at me from that pool of water, that I did not notice a trickle of the water running toward my control panel. There it wet the electronics and shorted them out, causing the mind control goggles to (instead of playing my world domination messages) play the Meepit Juice Break theme song over and over again. This caused all of the neopets wearing them to go completely mad and feed their goggles to the meepits, who in turn made sour faces because the goggles were not the right colour.

     And so I was foiled again by that blundering fool Sky!

     But don't worry, Neopia, someday we shall be rid of this nuisance and you will have beautiful statues of moi to gaze upon.

     Thanks for stopping by. Visit me after the press conference if you would like an autographed photo to show off to all your friends.

     [cuts to NNN anchor]

     Sally Scorchio here reporting for NeoNewsNow. We have just heard from a Chomby who admits to being responsible for today’s chaotic events in Neopia Central. While yes, he is good looking, I’m not sure about having him as my future overlord... What’s this? It appears that the second Chomby wishes to dispute some of Fire’s claims. He is stepping up to the podium now.

     [cuts to yellow Chomby on a podium]

     Hello there, I’m Skybluedawnsky, known to my friends as Sky: The gentle and unassuming Defender of Neopia, and the true Ultimate Male Model of Neopia!

     My daytime is taken up mostly by thwarting the evil plans of my Arch nemesis: Fire. Being the true ultimate male model that I am along with defending Neopia from the evil Fire does have its good days and bad.

     Just earlier today I managed to outwit this wannabe overlord. I have spies and covert observation techniques throughout Neopia, so I was well aware of Fire's latest scheme concerning the Hypnotic Goggles.

     Little did Fire know that I had recorded my own subliminal messaging which would cause all of the Neopets to look upon Fire with disdain. It would have backfired on him and caused my modeling career to take off as never before. It was just a simple matter of distracting Fire long enough to access the control panel and switch the message program to my own.

     In order to distract Fire, I poured my new image reflection liquid onto his desk near the control panel. Devised using state-of-the-art technologies available only in the DoN Headquarters Lab, it acts as a reflecting pool and will temporarily turn any surface into a perfect mirror. Knowing how vain Fire is, I knew this would be the perfect distraction to keep him occupied while I changed the subliminal programming for the goggles. What I didn’t count on was that he would try to spread the pool around to make it larger. Did I mention how vain he is?

     While I was observing this behavior and shaking my head in disgust, I failed to notice that he had splashed some of the liquid onto the electronic equipment and everything had shorted out before I could react. Fortunately, before the incessant repeating of the Meepit Juice Break song did any permanent damage to those wearing the goggles, my gallant aides in Neopia released some hungry meepits into the crowd to eat the goggles. The meepits were then shipped off to Kreludor for disposal.

     Once again good has overcome evil and all of Neopia can sleep in peace knowing they are safe.

     [cuts to NNN anchor]

     Sally the Scorchio here, we have just been given two accounts of the cause of today’s mayhem. We’re not sure what the complete truth is, but our investigative reporters are working diligently to sort out the truth and bring you the full story.

     Now to the Tiki Tombola man for the weather...

The End

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