Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 91,084,854 Issue: 175 | 28th day of Sleeping, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

The Saga of Two Pirates

by cheopspyramid


"Well THIS is another fine mess you've gotten us into," Johnny said.

      "Uh! Me? I believe it was YOU who tried to 'work it out' with them!" Wendy scoffed.

      "At least I didn't try to rob them blind!"

      Wendy pouted and turned away. Nevertheless, escape was useless due to the fact that they were bound tightly next to each other inside a boat that could barely fit a loaf of bread.

      The two pirates that sit in the boat are known as Patch-Eye Johnny (or Patchy Johnny) and Wendy the Weary Looter (or Weary Wendy). Now Wendy is a Pirate Shoyru, and a beautiful one at that. She can be just as gruff as a man, though, but this only happened if she is annoyed to that level. Johnny on the other hand is a fierce Pirate Eyrie. He doesn't like to be messed with or pushed around, but only Wendy can actually do that.

      Wendy sighed, "Well, what'll we do now? We have to be at least ten miles from shore. Did those buccaneers leave us anything other than this boat?"

      "Nope," Johnny replied. "We're stuck, hungry, and I need to use the bathroom."

      "Ew! I thought you went while we were still on the island! Whatever you do, try your best to hold it!"

      The two pirate pets originally got there due to a series of mishaps that happened while sailing one afternoon a few days ago. The two ran into a bad crew of other pirates who happened to sink there boat and leave them stranded. Yes, I was there the whole time. Did I forget to mention myself? I'm Peter the Pawkeet! I followed the two around on their journey. Neither one of them can stop arguing over who tells the correct version of what happened after their boat was sunk. But I know all!


      The morning was bright and crisp. A light mist hung over the harbor to Krawk Island, creating an eerie but mystical effect. Throughout the village, everyone was sleeping peacefully, except for a few early birds (Heh, get it? I'm a Pawkeet... early birds. Heh. No? Okay, whatever). In the harbor, Wendy and Johnny were both packing up for a day sail across to the Ruins of Maraqua to do a little diving. The seas were to be calm today so the duo decided to get out while they still had the chance.

      "Lifejackets?" Wendy asked.

      "Check!" Johnny said immediately.

      "Picnic basket?"


      "Extra sails and oars just in case?"


      "Johnny!" Wendy yelled. "I thought you said you had everything packed!"

      "I'm just kidding," Johnny laughed. "Everything's fine. Don't worry about it. I have everything we need to do this trip."

      After a few more adjustments the two pirates left on their journey, unknowing that they wouldn't make it back later that night. All the same they shoved off from the dreary harbor and into the morning light.

      A cool gust of summer air blew the sails of the ship out towards its destination of Maraqua. Both Johnny and Wendy did their fair share while sailing the ship. Neither one of them relaxed too much unless they were anchored or the wind was blowing them whichever way it took them. At one point, the sails were blowing in a steady pattern, so the two decided to take a short break.

      "Days like these really make me feel alive," Wendy said enchantingly.

      "Yeah, me too," Johnny replied while staring at Wendy. "And look at that! Not a single cloud in the sky. We sure picked an awesome day."

      "Oh defini--"

      Wendy was interrupted by a sudden shadow that overlapped their small boat. Yet this wasn't a normal shadow caused by an island or a cloud; this was one that was emitted by a larger boat.

      Wendy gasped and pointed at the ship. Now, you may already know that Wendy and Johnny are pirates, but even pirates such as themselves have fears. The main things that all normal pirates from Krawk Island are afraid of are marauders.

      The boat that floated gently in front of their ship was one that belonged to the worst clan of marauders: the Unloving Unis. This group had an infamous reputation of being the cruelest and most greedy pirates that ever sailed the seven seas. They had a secret hideout at which they hid each day's earning that they stole from unsuspecting villagers.

      In a desperate attempt to escape the boat, the two took out a pair of oars and began to paddle away from the ship. But of course, both Wendy and Johnny were rowing in opposite directions which just turned them around in circles. The ship sailed toward the spinning boat and chains flew over the side of the marauder's ship and latched onto Wendy and Johnny's small boat.

      Immediately, two Unis boarded their boat, tied Wendy and Johnny up, and sank their boat. After being thrown atop of the deck of the larger ship, a few more Unis greeted the pair.

      "Well, well, what do we have here?" one said. "A few wanderers from Krawk Island?"

      Johnny struggled to escape the tightened ropes that bound him next to Wendy. Wendy kept still, but never blinked while staring at the foul Unis that surrounded them on top of the deck.

      "Silas, turn them upside-down and see what they have hidden in their filthy pockets."

      The Uni that was called Silas came closer to Wendy and Johnny, grabbed them by the ropes and flipped them so that all the blood rushed to their heads.

      Wendy, being the cunning Shoyru that she is, took her sharpened teeth and bit Silas as hard as she could. Silas dropped the pair immediately and the ropes came undone as they hit the wooden floor.

      "Leave us be," Johnny said coolly.

      "Ah, a smart mouth we have here don't we?" the leader said. "Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Kaleb of the Unloving Uni clan."

      Wendy snorted and said under her breath, "Really? I sure didn't know THAT."

      "Do you have something to say to the rest of us?" Kaleb asked. "I suggest you hush yourself before you meet the same fate as your boat."

      Wendy's eyes widened and she buttoned her mouth (not literally, of course). Johnny just stared back at Kaleb.

      "Tie them back up and throw them in the storage room below deck," Kaleb ordered. "We'll drop them off at the island to rot."

      Instantaneously, four Unis lunged themselves upon Johnny and Wendy, tied them up again, and toted them into the storage room.

      Once they left, Wendy dared to speak. "Me and you really need to stop getting into so much trouble."

      "You and I," Johnny said.


      "You and I," Johnny repeated. "It's not grammatically correct to say 'me and you'. In past times, it was more polite to mention the other person firs--"

      "I GET IT!" Wendy yelled. "Gosh, you are the ONLY pirate to have ever gone to Neoschool."

      Johnny frowned and tears lightly filled his eyes. "That wasn't nice," he said.

      Wendy's guilt swelled up inside her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm just so frustrated that we got into this mess."

      "Still hurt," Johnny sniffled.

      At that moment, the ship suddenly lunged forward. Silas and two other Unis came down into the lower deck and picked up Wendy and Johnny. "We have reached the island. This is where you will be spending the rest of eternity."

      The Unis took the two on top of the deck. Neither of them had realized that it was nighttime already! Stars filled the cloudy night sky and the moon produced a glow on the sandy beach of the island. The island would seem much happier if Wendy and Johnny hadn't been taken there to live out the remainder of their lives. It was a small island with many palm trees and a large rock with a cave built into it. The pirates dragged Wendy and Johnny on the beach and through the island forest, towards the rock.

      "Ow!" Wendy shouted as another rock hit her in the head.

      "Almost there ye' scallywags," Kaleb called.

      After twenty or thirty cuts and bruises later, they finally reached the rocky cavern that was dimly lit by candles on tiki torch stands.

      The Unis drug Wendy and Johnny into the cave and into a small nook to the right upon entering. There, piles and piles of gold filled the room. Wendy's eyes gleamed as they were placed in a small corner.

      "Please," Johnny begged. "We will give you twenty dubloons if you let us go free without any harm."

      "Oh be quiet," Kaleb yelled. "And for that, ye'll be hung upside-down from the ceiling."

      "Good going," Wendy said sarcastically.

      "Worth a shot," Johnny shrugged.

      Wendy was placed in a small corner while Johnny was hung from is feet on the ceiling.

      After the Unis left again, Wendy said, "Oh this is stupid!" So she bit her way through the tight ropes that bound her poor wings.

      As she stood up, all the blood that was once cut off due to the ropes, rushed through her body and made her feel new again. She stretched a little while and smiled at the treasures that surrounded her.

      Johnny coughed. "Excuse me?! Are you going to let me down any time soon?"

      "Oh, right!" Wendy exclaimed. She stood on some nearby crates and bit through Johnny's ropes as well. Johnny fell to the floor and hit it with a large thud.

      "Oops, sorry," Wendy apologized.

      Wendy once again stared at the treasures in the room. Thinking about where to begin, she started with the nearest pile and began to pour all the gold into her pockets and other areas that could hold anything.

      "What are you doing?!" Johnny yelled. "We've already gotten into enough trouble! Lets not waste time; we need to get out of here!"

      "Just one more pile," Wendy pleaded.

      At that very moment, Kaleb returned with the other Unis to find Wendy stuffing the riches in her pockets.

      "What's this?!" Kaleb yelled. "A thief! Get them!"

      Johnny and Wendy ran as fast as they could. Dodging all the Unis, they ran out of the cave and into the forest. The marauders closely followed them into the depths of the murky forest. Wendy and Johnny turned around to see if they were still following them, yet when they turned back around they both ran smack dab into a tree.

      Dazed and confused, they got up. Yet it was already too late; the marauders had caught up with them.

      "This time we will make sure you will not escape," Kaleb threatened.

      Once again, Johnny and Wendy were tied. But this time, they were thrown into a small boat and pushed off into the ocean that lie before them. They would stay this way until morning arrived.

      And so this is where we are now. Very dreadful that all this should happen to a good pair of pirates.

      "Hey!" Johnny shouted. "It's that bird! Get him!"

      "Hello?! Help us… please? Pretty please?!"

      Well, I hope you have enjoyed this lov--

      "Hey come back! Please?!"

      --ely tale. See you all around!

      "No! Don't leave!"

The End

Author's Note: Special thanks to booger180303 and cewlzy for helping me with the names.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Change of Tune: Part Five
There was a drawing of my face, unmasked and real. It was printed right under the words WANTED.

by twirlsncurls5


Roy and Dramonti
Maybe you should be happy for your friends...

by dralora


Pteri Ptactics
Deep in the heart of Tyrannia, thousands of Pteris make their fight up the canyon with evil Pterodactyls and Grarrls doing everything in their power to stop them. What is a poor green Pteri to do? Shoot them down of course.

by cyanna_of_settamoor


NT Fans, Attack!
I’m quite sure you’ve heard of the NT. If you haven’t, it is really surprising that you’re actually reading this. Well, just for you people who don’t know, NT stands for the Neopian Times...

by shadowcristal

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.