Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 175,204,523 Issue: 365 | 24th day of Collecting, Y10
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And the Winner is...

by chat_adik


“Good news, class,” Professor Chia Mater announced as he entered the classroom. As usual, he was late- not that anyone minded. After all, every minute late was another 60 seconds of fun.

     The professor waited until the class settled down, as was his usual routine every class time. The room, which was noisy and full of flying peas everywhere, became silent.

     He cleared his throat. “So,” he continued, “as I was saying, I have good news for you.”

     Some perked up. After all, if Professor Mater said that he had good news, then it was. Professor M, as they call him, is cool. He even watches NTV!

     Katy the Plushie Kacheek poked her seatmate and friend, Penny. Poor Penny didn’t sleep at all last night because her mazzew had mootixes. “How on Neopia can I sleep,” she demanded, “if my petpet kept on scratching and yowling?”

     “What?” Penny mumbled sleepily.

     “Professor M’s got good news,” Katy hissed, and kept flinging peas at her friend to wake her up.

     Penny yowled, “Stop that!” then kept quiet when the class looked at her.

     “So,” Professor Mater said, “as I was saying, I have good news for you- we’ll be having a Halloween fair. Isn’t that great?”


     “Isn’t that great news?” Professor Mater prompted.

     “I have a question,” Gabby the Gelert asked.


     “Is it going to be as bland as the other festivals we’ve had?” she asked, “If so, then what’s great about that. It’s boring.”

     “Yeah!” someone shouted from the back.

     “To answer your question, no, it’s not going to be boring,” the professor answered. “You’re all going to join--” Before the class could speak, he stopped them. “Hear me out first.”

     “All of you are going to participate. You could do it individually, in groups of twos, threes, tens, whatever. As long as all of you contributed something, you get a perfect score. It’s counted as a project. You’re going to have booths at the Deserted Fairground,” he explained. “Any kind, except those which you know I won’t approve. You could have any kinds of game. Anyway, since it’s only three weeks before Halloween, I’m giving you time to prepare. If you have any questions, you may approach me. Class is dismissed,” he exclaimed. “Go and have fun, fun, fun!”


     “So,” Katy started, “what ideas do you have for the fair? I have lots of ideas to choose from- we could have a Wheel of Misfortune- oh wait! There’s one already. Or we could hold-,” she trailed off, realizing that her friend hadn’t listened to a word she said.

     “PENNY!” she yelled.

     The pea Chia jumped from the chair, then fell to the floor, instantly awake. “What?” she asked, glaring at Katy while rubbing her arm.

     “Oh, nothing much,” Katy said cheerfully, waving her multi-colored hand.

     Penny continued glaring daggers.

     “Oh, all right,” Katy said, scowling. “Honestly, you’re no fun at all.”

     Penny looked at her expectantly. “Well?”

     “I’ve had some ideas for the fair, but they seem very boring- I want something cool- something unique, something which can make us stand out, something which can show our individuality- I mean, duality.”

     The Chia commented, smirking, “You’ve been reading Neopolitan again, haven’t you? You are being overly redundant. Why don’t you just say that you want our project to be distinctive?”

     Katy stuck her tongue out. “And look who swallowed the dictionary.”

     Penny rolled her eyes. “Stop being immature.”

     “I’m not immature. Shut up for I’ll- I’ll eat you! Yeah, that’s eat- I mean, it.”

     “I always look forward to lunchtime,” a voice commented, “since you two never fail to crack me up with your insults.”

     “Can it, Larry,” Katy threatened, “or I’ll dent you.”

     Larry the Lupe commented dryly, “How can you dent me?”

     “Oh, I’ll start with a few punches perhaps, then I’d slam you, and then...” she continued, uttering threats.

     Larry merely chuckled. “So, what do you guys plan to do? Lance and I,” he said, gesturing towards his twin, “are going to hold a fortune telling booth.”

     “We are?” Lance asked, surprised. “I thought we were going to hold a dunking booth.”

     Larry snorted. “As if. Lots of neopoints can be made with fortune telling. Who would pay neopoints just to dunk someone?”

     “I would,” Lance countered, narrowing his eyes at his brother, his blue tail twitching.

     “You and what army?”

     Lance waved his paw. “Oh! That is the stupidest retort I have ever heard.”

      “It is not!” Larry began. “In fact, it was-”

     “Eureka!” Katy exclaimed, startling them all with her sudden outburst.

     “Eureka?” Larry and Penny echoed simultaneously.

     “What is that?” Lance asked. “Is that some sort of food? Oooh! I haven’t tasted that yet. Is it any good? I looooove tasting new things.”

     “It’s not food.”

     “Oh,” Lance exclaimed dejectedly. “Too bad. What is it then?”

     “It’s an expression,” Katy explained.

     Lance replied, “I see. Then why did you say that?”

     “Because I’ve got a brilliant idea!” Katy said happily.

     “Whoppedoo,” Larry said, while Penny asked, “What?”

     “Let’s have a fashion show!”

     Strawberry flavored Achyfi flew out of Penny’s mouth and onto the floor, “What?”

     “Yuck,” Larry said, disgusted. “Yuck to both that,” he pointed at the mess, “and to your idea.”

     “Cool! A fashion show- that’s a way better idea than your fortune telling booth,” Lance commented, scowling at his twin.

     Larry stuck his tongue out at Lance. “Oh, really? Well, it’s a better idea than your stupid dunking booth.”

     Before another verbal fight could arise, Katy said quickly, “Hear me out first.”

     “So,” she continued, once they were all seated again, “I know it may sound cliché-ish, but I think that it’s a great idea. There are a lot of scary or famous Halloween personalities, like Count Von Roo, the Esophagor, and Edna. So, I was thinking, what if we invited them to be the contestants, and we Neopians will be the judges. Throughout the years they kept on bickering about who was scarier. Well, it’s time to find out.”

     “Well,” she demanded, after a few minutes of silence, “what do you think?”

     “I’m in,” Lance announced, and after a while, Penny nodded.

     “Fine,” Larry said begrudgingly, “but if your plan fails, we’re having the fortune telling booth.”

     “No, we’ll not!”

     “Yes, we will!”



     “This is going to be a long day,” Katy said.

     ~In Katy’s Neohome~

     “What’s the plan?” Penny, seated comfortably on a snowflake bean bag, asked.

     “Well,” Katy replied, “I haven’t really finished planning, but I do have jobs for all of you. Penny, you round up sponsors- like the Bread Master, or the Pizzaroo, and advertise the upcoming Fashion Show. I’ll leave that part to you.”

     She turned to Lance and Larry. “You guys can build the platform, and any other construction-related job, since you two liked to build.”

     Larry snorted. “I like to build. Lance just demolishes things.”

     “I do not!” Lance said indignantly. “In fact, the birdhouse I made last winter was great. Yours on the other hand, well, let’s just say that the weewoos were traumatized.”

     “Oh yeah? Well, the-”

     Katy cleared her throat.

     The twins grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.” “Actually,” Larry muttered under his breath, “I’m not.”

     “Anyway,” Katy continued, ignoring Larry’s remark, “while you focus on your tasks, I will neomail the ‘chosen’ contestants.”

     “Who’ll you invite?” Penny asked, curious.

     “Count Von Roo, of course, Edna, the Brain Tree, the Esophagor, Eliv Thade...” Katy trailed off. “I can’t think of anyone else at the moment...” She shrugged. “Jhudora too, probably, though she’s not really from the Haunted Woods.”

     Penny frowned thoughtfully. “That sound good so far.”

     The others nodded.

     “Hello, Penny, Lance, Larry,” Katy’s mother greeted them, carrying cookies and cake. “I thought you’d want to have a snack.” After settling them on the table, she left the room.

     “Do I- why, yes I do!” Lance said, and then began eating.

     Larry rolled his eyes, said, “I am not surprised,” and began to eat too.

     ~After One Week~

     “So,” Katy started, nibbling on a white chocolate chip cookie. “How are you guys doing?”

     “It’s going well,” Penny said. “Many are willing to sponsor, though a few were a bit hesitant, actually.”

     Katy nodded. “I like the flyers.” Katy turned to the twins. “Your side?”

     The blue Lupe replied, “Fine. We’re done building- or actually, I am. All Lance did was to yak and yak.”

     Larry glared, but remained silent, chewing on a meaty lupe treat.

     “How’s the inviting going?”

     “A few already agreed, the Esophagor wanted to have food while he’s on the stage.” Katy frowned. “Eliv Thade agreed too, but not before subjecting me to numerous anagrams. I don’t think my brain will ever recover. The Brain Tree couldn’t come, though.”

     “Why not?”

     “I didn’t understand what he said. I caught the words ‘mace’ and ‘meepits’, though.” She brightened up. “Oh, and I invited a few meepits, to liven the show a bit.”

     “You what?? Aren’t they like, spooky? How did you invite them anyway?”

     “It is Halloween. It’s not a show without cute- albeit scary, little petpets. I neomailed them, of course.” Katy shuddered. “I wouldn’t dare go near them without my protective gear.”

      “I would,” Larry announced bravely, smirking. “If they’re in cages.”

     Lance rolled his eyes. “You try to be funny, but you’re not.”

     “Oh yeah?” Larry retorted. “Well you try to act smart, but you’re not. Not only can you not act, you’re not even smart to begin with.”

     “I don’t understand. Actually I don’t think anyone understood what you just said. All I hear is gibberish.”


     “Now,” Katy smiled sweetly, “that you’re done talking, let’s meet again next week.”

     “Bye, Larry and Lance,” Penny said, waving at the soaked Lupes, then hurried off to catch her friend.

     “Isn’t it illegal to bring weapons?”

     “What they won’t know, Penny my friend, won’t hurt them. And it was for a good cause,” Katy said, hiding her weapon. “I was starting to get a headache.”

     ~The Next Week~

     “OUCH!” Katy yelled. “That hurts.”

     Meep the Meepit, as it wants to be called, merely stared at her innocently.

     “Why are they here again?” Penny asked.

      Katy said gloomily, “How many times do you think I asked them the same question? They wouldn’t answer. All they do is torture and stare at me.”

     “Aren’t they cute?” Lance cooed. “They like you.” He started to go near them.

     Meep growled.

     “And they don’t like me,” Lance said, pouting.

     Larry shrugged. “What’s one more person on the list?”

     The Chia said, “So, what are you going to do with them for the time being? There’s a week left before the fair.”

     “I was thinking of hiding them in the basement.” The meepits growled. “Or, maybe not,” she said, glaring at the pink petpets.

     They looked at each other smugly.

     “Just don’t ruin my things,” Katy said, and then added, “Or anyone else’s things- or it’s off to the basement with you.”

     “Meep. Meep.”

     ~The Fair~

     “This is so cool,” Penny said, gushing. “I love the water balloon booth, and the mummy baby race.”

     “Yeah,” Katy said, nodding. “The whole class seems to have done a good job, but it’s almost time for ours.”

     “Don’t worry,” Penny said comfortingly. “I’m sure we’ll do fine.”

     “I hope so. I really liked the ads, and the twins have done a good work on the stage.”

     The seats were filling up fast.

     “Let’s go to the backstage,” Katy said. “The show’s about to start.”

     ~Fashion Show~

     “Good evening, fellow Neopians!” The host of the popular game Better Than You announced, “This is our first ever Fashion Show, sponsored by the Bakery, Uni’s Clothing and the Music Shop. Now let’s give a warm welcome to our contestants!”


     One by one, the contestants walked to the stage- Edna, in her trademark witch’s hat, the Esophagor, Jhudora, with her wand, Count Von Roo, with his cape, and the other scary Neopians.

     “The contestants will now scare you,” the host chuckled. “It is Halloween after all- not a Miss Neopian type of show. The winner will be judged by the amount of applause or screams. Good luck!”

     The contestants took turns threatening and bribing the audience. Katy found herself amused by Edna’s spells, Count Von Roo’s jokes, Jhudora’s magic tricks, and even Eliv Thade’s anagrams.

     After the last contestant, the host went back to the stage, “So, it looks like we have a winner, folks! I am proud to announce that-”


     Meep the Meepit went to the stage and blinked at the host.

     “Oh, it looks like this little petpet wants to join!” he said, “What do you say, let him join?”

     “Vy kan this leetle thing join? Eet is just a petpet,” Count Von Roo complained.

     Meep bit him. Hard.

     “Vy, you pesky leetle meepit. How dare you bite the great Count Von Roo!”

     “Let him join,” Edna said obligingly. The others nodded. Count Von Roo scowled, clearly, he was overruled.

     “Okay, little meepit. Take the stage,” the host said.

     Meep went to the center of the stage. And blinked.

     “Aww,” one said, “isn’t it cute?”

     “It’s so cute- it’s scary!”

     “Yeah, dude!”

     “Mommy, I want one!”

    ~After the Show~

     “Wow!” Penny commented, “Who knew that those little meepits have such charisma?”

     Meep merely blinked, holding its shiny trophy.

The End

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