There are ants in my Lucky Green Boots Circulation: 176,283,234 Issue: 347 | 13th day of Relaxing, Y10
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Large and (Supposedly) in Charge


by kotaeia

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"I AM LARGE AND IN CHARGE!!" yelled Dr. Sloth.

     "Well, he's certainly large," Kata whispered to me.

     Not making sense? Maybe I should start from the beginning...

      ***Five Minutes Ago***

     First, a self-intro. My name is Mari, and I am a Skunk Aisha. I live in the Haunted Woods. There. Now that that's done, the story shall begin:

     My eyes popped out of my head and fell onto the dusty ground when I saw Kata, my White Wocky friend, in the Haunted Woods on a dark and previously stormy night. I knew for a fact that Kata did not go into the Haunted Woods unless she was tied up and blindfolded. The White Wocky was absolutely terrified of spooky things, darkness, etc. Scary things in general. A long time ago, when I had discovered that Kata had never seen the Pant Devil, I had showed her a drawing. Bad idea. Kata had caused such chaos that it required a swift, hard whack to Kata's head to calm everything down.

     Ever since that day, I have never shown Kata a scary thing again. Therefore, I was speechless when I saw her here, in the Haunted Woods. Of course, Kata grinned even more when she observed just HOW stunned I was. The White Wocky loved proving others wrong, which contrasted sharply with her intense fear of spooky things. I have always known that eventually, her competitiveness would overrule her intense phobia, but so far, nothing had happened. Until now.

     I couldn't help blinking repeatedly. Kata was still there, still smiling as wide as the Haunted Woods themselves. A few passerby looked at her strangely, as did the Grey Faerie who happened to be there. I just gaped at her, until thirty seconds later when I found my voice.

     "What are you DOING here?!" I shouted. "If I really am seeing you in the Haunted Woods at midnight, then my eyesight must be failing."

     "Your eyesight isn't failing, Aisha comrade! You see, Mari, I--"

     At that moment , a booming laugh rang through the previously silent woods, and an eerie green light formed an outline on the trees. Then, the glowing plants arose and began walking on their roots. As the trees cleared out, Kata and could see that a horde of Earth Faeries were controlling the trees. The sight of all these Faeries wasn't half as interesting as why they were acting so strangely, though. "What's happening?" I asked to no one in particular.

     My question was almost immediately answered by a voice booming through the trees, laughing evilly, "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

     I am nearly certain that everyone who was in the Haunted Woods at the time recognized the voice as Dr. Frank Sloth's voice. Of course, not everyone realized at the time just how dangerous he was this time.

     Kata and I dashed over to the source of the voice, and were greeted by Faeries. Hundreds of Faeries. Thousands of Faeries. Fire, Water, Air, Earth, Dark, and Light Faeries were all gathered up in a clearing. Their bodies glowed with an outline the color of their dress, and their eyes were glazed over. Also, I noticed that near the edge of the Faeries were the Soup, Snow, Space, Negg, Battle, Library, and even the Queen Faerie. The strangest thing, though, was the figure towering in the middle of the mesmerized Faeries. Dr. Sloth, his size multiplied by probably fifteen times (Seriously! Why did no one see him?!), stood in the midst of the Faeries. A crowd of people and Neopets who had heard Sloth's MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! were gathered around the Faeries.

     "I AM LARGE AND IN CHARGE!!" yelled Dr. Sloth.

     "Well, he's certainly large," Kata whispered to me. (And here we are now) I started to stare her in confusion at her boldness for a second until I remembered what had happened. The White Wocky's competitive spirit had overcome her fear.

     My train of thought suddenly crashed. Sloth was pushing Faeries left and right while approaching the edge of the mob.

     "PUNY PETS!

     YOUR SCREAMS ARE IN VAIN!

     MY ULTIMATE WEAPON

     WILL LEAVE YOU ALL SLAIN!!" he screamed, holding his balled fists high above his head.

     Mootix chirped. Everyone stared up at Sloth's face. Sloth held his position. Nothing happened. Suddenly, Kata spoke up. "We're not screaming," she said.

     "EH?" questioned Sloth, lowering his arms.

     "DID I HEAR THIS RUNT RIGHT?

     IS NO ONE SCREAMING AT THEIR PLIGHT?"

     The crowd of people and Neopets nodded in unison. Dr. Sloth looked shocked. I decided to try speaking too.

     "Why are the Faeries all weird-looking? Why are you so big? Why are you rhyming?" I asked, trying my best to make myself sound like a little kid. (It wasn't too hard, seeing as how I have always been a great actress.) He would probably underestimate me, which might come in handy later.

     Sure enough, Sloth believed that I was a little kid.

     "QUIET, LITTLE FOOL.

     GO BACK AND STUDY IN YOUR SCHOOL!" he roared.

     "But Neoschools don't exist!" someone piped up.

     "Yeah, and besides, why ARE the Faeries all mesmerized, why ARE you so big, and why ARE you rhyming?" asked someone else.

     Soon enough, everyone was demanding answers from the bewildered Sloth. This obviously wasn't the mass hysteria that he had been expecting. I allowed myself a slight smile at my seeming success.

     Then, Sloth began to speak.

     "FINE, FINE!

     I'LL TELL YOU WHY THE FAERIES ARE MINE!

     I DRANK A SORT OF POTION,

     THEN CONTROL SPREAD LIKE A LOTION!

     BUT THEN I GOT BIGGER

     AND I WAS FULL OF... VIGOUR!

     WHEN I OPENED MY MOUTH

     THE RHYME JUST FLOWED...OUTH!!"

     Sloth had once again caused everyone to stare at him again. More Mootix chirped. Suddenly, screams of rage erupted from a section of the mob. From what I could gather, the yells came from the Neopian Society of Poetry, as his rhyming was unsatisfactory. This was an unexpected twist, but the twist was quickly straightened. The Air Faeries had swept away the offending pets with a large gust of wind.

     Sloth rolled his eyes (or tried to) and boomed,

     "BAD RHYME IS NOT A BAD PRICE TO PAY

     IF THE FAERIES WILL DO ALL I SAY!!"

     Silently, I agreed with his logic. Sloth could take over the world if every single Faerie was under his control. Neopia was doomed if nothing happened. Then, an idea came to me. I grabbed Kata, who was staring up at Sloth in an interested way. Dashing back towards the spot where I had first seen my friend, I both filled in the White Wocky on my idea and hoped that SHE was still there.

     She was. The Grey Faerie stood in the small clearing where all the trees had been taken away. I was extremely glad to see that she wasn't being mind-controlled. Kata and I rushed up to her.

     "Please, Miss Grey Faerie," I used my small-child voice once more. "Sloth has taken over the other Faeries' minds, and you're the only one who hasn't been! Please help, Miss Grey Faerie, please help!"

     I have often found that acting like a small child will annoy others to no end, make others underestimate me, or earn me anything I want. In this case, I got anything I wanted. The Grey Faerie, instead of bursting into tears as she usually would, nodded her face with a weird, steely glint in her eyes. We led her back to the clearing, where Sloth was still waiting for mayhem to rule.

     The Faerie's eyes widened. They popped. They fell to the ground. Obstinately, she shouted, "I am NOT helping you against that thing!"

     I sighed, knowing that there was no help for it. We were doomed. Sloth, who had heard us, stepped closer and noticed the Grey Faerie.

     "SO ONE IS LEFT,

     I AM BEREFT

     OF A SINGLE ONE.

     AND I THOUGHT I WAS DONE!" whined Sloth. It sounded as strange as it looks, Sloth whining. Or maybe not. In any case, he leaned over and plucked the Grey Faerie up, throwing her into the midst of the other Faeries. I knew Kata and I, Mari the Skunk Aisha, had failed in our attempt to save Neopia. I covered my eyes with both paws when I somehow managed to trip over a large boulder, scratching my leg. As I fell, I threw out my paws. Sloth's ankle caught on my claws.

     An explosion rent the night, blowing away all of the spectators except for, strangely, Kata and me. I looked up. Sloth was gone, but the Faeries weren't returning to normal. I pushed this thought to the edge of my mind and watched as shreds of pitch black, sickly green, and vibrant red material floated down to the earth. Suddenly, I realized what the potion had done. Sure, it had given him control of the Faeries, but it had also turned him into a balloon!

     There was still a problem, though. The Faeries were still mesmerized. Then, I felt something tugging at my mind. I shook my head, but could not extinguish the feeling. It felt strange and unusual. I thought how nice it would be if that stinging cut were healed. Instantly, in a flash of aquamarine light from the Water Faeries, my scratch was healed.

     Coming to a very selfish realization, I grinned.

      ***The Next Day***

     "Well, Kata, this is the life, isn't it?" I commented while an Air Faerie fanned me. I stretched my legs out comfortably on Fyora's throne.

     "It certainly is, Mari," answered the White Wocky from her spa. Water and Fire Faeries were gathered there, their eyes still glowing.

     Well, what would you do?

The End

 
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