Chronic Neolodgers: The Truth Behind the Addiction
We all know one. We've all met one. We might have even judged them. We may find them despicable and uncaring. We may feel for them and pity their illness.
Some Neopians just can't help it. I am one of those Neopians. I did not used to be. But then I became afflicted with one of Neopia's most common and yet untalked about illnesses.
Hi, my name is 101monica101, and I'm a lodge-aholic.
I admit with both pride and shame that I am a Chronic Neolodger.
Also known as Habitual Lodging Disorder, people who suffer from this addiction constantly feel compelled to keep their pets in the Neolodge. Even when they have no plans to go out or leave Neopia for a bit, Chronic Neolodgers always have their pets in the Neolodge.
This is a common addiction. Many Neopians suffer from it. That's why I am here. I want to shed some light on this sad and costly disorder, as well as comfort other Neolodgers.
How Does It Start?
Chronic Neolodgers usually start slow and innocently. It always happens in steps. Perhaps a certain pet owner decides to put their pets into a fancy room for a night as a little treat. No doubt they feel good about themselves as their pets say in unison, "You're the best owner ever!" or maybe "Yay! I love holidays!"
Then maybe that same owner puts their pets in the Neolodge just for a week or so while they go away on vacation. No big deal. Their pets stay fed and the owner can have fun and be worry free.
Then, slowly, the owner puts their pets in the Neolodge for everything.
"Oh, I'm going to the mall, I should put my pets in the Neolodge!"
"I'm going to a sleepover, I'll put my pets in a motel for a week."
Eventually the pets are in the Neolodge every day. It becomes an addiction.
How It Started For Me
I became addicted to the Neolodge in much the same way as our imaginary owner. I would put my pets in the Neolodge only when I want on vacation, so they wouldn't starve. I would feed them myself when I was around.
But one month I went away. That's right, a whole twenty eight days. I put my Neopets in a fairly good motel for a whole month. It was amazing. My pets were fed, I was worry free, for a whole month!
Then I returned to normal Neopian civilization.
Slowly, slowly, I became too lazy to feed my pets. I have five accounts to think of. I was too busy with other things to feed my pets. So I put them in the Neolodge some more. Eventually that became a very expensive habit, so I was forced to keep my pets in the cheapest motel available.
Now you can guarantee that my pets are in the Neolodge all the time. They're in there while I am writing this. They'll be in there by the time you read this. I admit, I am addicted to the Neolodge.
Don't Worry, Be Happy
Having an addiction like this can be costly. There are perks, though. But to every perk, there is a downfall.
-My pets are always fed to the point where they become bloated
-I can keep my pets fed for a very cheap price
-If I start to feel guilty, I can request for my pets to get room service or swimming pool passes
-I never have to worry about my pets' hunger levels
There are a lot of people who may call us Chronic Neolodgers lazy and uncaring. We may not show affection for our pets with lavish meals and gourmet food, but we can guarantee that our pets never go hungry. In fact, we really care for our pets. Sure, some people put their pets in the Neolodge because they are too lazy to feed them, but others do it because they don't want their pets to go hungry. If I had a habit of forgetting to feed my pets, that habit would vanish with a simple trip to the Neolodge.
You Are Not Alone
There are thousands and thousands of fellow Neolodgers in Neopia. I recently took the time to receive some statements from a few of them. Here is what they had to say (some names are nicknames):
"It started gradually for me. I would put my pets in the Neolodge for special occasions. Before I knew it, my pets were in there all the time!"
"I do admit to having an addiction. But I don't view it as a bad one, like many other people do.
I was upset though, when I read an article about lazy Neopians. It talked about people who don't feed their pets. It was a quiz, and I scored very low. According to that article, people who put their pets in the Neolodge are worse than those who feed their pets worm nuggets! It said that I did feed my pets, but I didn't do it with love. I was so mad that I sent a very long-winded neomail to the writer!"
"I started putting my pets in the fleapit motel just because I didn't want to feed them. I didn't always have enough neopoints, and even when I did, I knew that I would just forget to feed them. It may be the lazy thing to do, but I know that I'll never have to see my pets with tears in their eyes because they were starving."
"It takes so long to feed your pets. I have two accounts to take care of, and I didn't have the time to feed my pets bite by bite. Then I discovered the Neolodge. I liked it because it saved time that I can use to do other things. As a person who gets their computer time limited, it really helped me out."
"I put my pets in the Neolodge because I love them, and I know I won't feed them if they aren't in there. That's just the way I am. Forgetful."
Those who are Chronic Neolodgers aren't uncaring, lazy owners. We aren't bad to our pets in any way. Someway or another, we became addicted to the Neolodge. We still care for our pets, just in a different way. We don't want to be seen as outsiders or uncaring owners. We just want to be Neopians who happen to have a habit. Not a bad habit, but not a good one either.
How can I explain our constant need to lodge? I can't.
That's just the way we roll.
Thanks for reading, everybody! It feels good to finally admit that I am a Chronic Neolodger. I'd love to receive mail from you guys, so please feel free to send them! I'll be around.