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The N8 Wet Blanket

by sariphe


Of the hundreds of possible interesting things happening to focus on, Neopia has chosen one event and every eye, whether large and rather creepy, small and bright or normal sized and dull, is fixed totally upon this happening. It is the N8 Summit.

Held annually, the N8 Summit is a group of eight of Neopia’s best and most powerful leaders who gather in a host land to discuss topical issues of the year past and years coming. They are supposed to be Neopia’s best and brightest, but are they really?

Attending the summit are the usual eight representatives of Neopia’s most powerful and populous nations such as Princess Amira of the Lost Desert, King Kelpbeard of Maraqua, Kyruggi of Tyrannia, King Altador from his self titled kingdom, King Skarl of Meridell, King Hagan, brother of Skarl from Brightvale, Queen Fyora of the mystical but unstable land of the Faeries, and Dr. Frank Sloth.

Each of the attendees will be flown, boated, ferried, Unied or Eyried to the host land of the event this year which is to be Maraqua. Such a gathering of land dwelling Neopets has not happened around Maraqua since King Kelpbeard defeated Captain Scarblade and the watery underworld is causing some difficulties for the N8 organisers.

“We need to find some decent looking underwater gear for the entourages of the different delegations so that the natives of Maraqua don’t offend them with their bubbly taunts and we also need to find a suitable place for the landlubbers to stay!” an exasperated blue Koi almost shouted at our reporters.

But several of the leaders who normally attend the summit have withdrawn their support; among these was late Dr. Frank Sloth who left his second in command, Commander Garoo, to say this:

“My Master, upon his glorious return, will not be attending a summit with such a wet group! It will damage his perfectly well kempt hairstyle. He says it took him years to perfect.”

Our reporter had to leave Commander Garoo at this point due to some sort of fit during which he emitted loud rasping sounds that sounded oddly like mirth.

Among the myriad of problems and delays facing the Maraquan establishment, none compares to the recent hostility of the smaller Neopian nations who are outraged that they had not been included in such important procedures in the past and are now demanding that they be allowed to send a representative to Maraqua to take part in the N8 Summit, a claim which had, until recently been ignored by the haughty larger nations.

In a recent press release, King Kelpbeard stated that:

“Maraqua is one of the smaller nations involved in the N8 Summit and we can barely afford to send myself to each year's summit, let alone host one; how do you think the smaller nations would cope? Surely Roo Island doesn’t have enough money to send its king because he keeps gambling it away!”

This statement made the waters around Maraqua turbulent as hundreds of angry Blumaroos bounced on the waves and let stink bombs fall to the bottom of the ocean, forcing the Maraquan residents to don gas masks for several days and slowing down the N8 preparations which were already overdue.

And, as if this wasn’t enough, The Neopets Team, supreme rulers of all Neopia, announced just days ago that they were considering a proposal concerning Dr. Sloth and negotiations to surrender the rule of Neopia!

Public outcry was so colossal that TNT issued a further statement which said this:

“We are not considering a complete surrender, simply a small concession to appease him. He’s going to keep trying to take over the world anyway so we might as well plan for his future return. TNT will still be in control, but Dr. Sloth will have some say in what happens.”

Three prominent reactions presented themselves. The first was that Commander Garoo made a rallying speech to all the Sloth Drones scattered in hiding throughout Cyberspace. The second was that another World Domination group has been set up in the hopes that they too will prove such a recurring menace for TNT and Neopia that they, like Sloth, will be allowed a free reign over the world and the third, most numerous reaction was absolute terror.

“Sloth is pure evil!” shrieked Puddyfood, a Cybunny from Brightvale, “He’ll turn us all mutant or robot or something horrible like that!” At this point in her statement, she was hit over the head with a large mechanical arm, but it made no difference; her soft plush head just bounced back into place.

But others are less pessimistic. Mr. Oliver Kolipp, the only Darigan Kyrii in Neopia, said that he didn’t mind who was in charge.

“So long as there is food in my belly and a nice plushie to rip and tear at, I’ll be fine with Sloth. Anyway, I can’t see what is so bad about him; he’ll just sit in front of his mirror all day. Once his ultimate aspiration is complete, the vast majority of Neopians, me included, will live as they have always done.”

Unfortunately this view has not been shared by the residents of Krawk Island who, in their fear, have boarded up their windows and refused to come outside since the statement was made.

“We’re so scared,” we were told by an unknown Krawk through a tiny gap in his window. “We just don’t want to come outside.”

When asked why that was, he simply replied that they were coming.

Our reporters in Krawk Island have been abducted by the pirates who, it turns out, just wanted to tell their side of the story of the war against Maraqua. The N8 Summit being held in Maraqua had bought the matter up and many still feel resentment toward the pirates despite the fact that they were not affected by the conflict.

The N8 Summit, though a small matter, has dragged up many unresolved tension from the past and caused more trouble than it has ever done. With the N8 leaders refusing to let the smaller communities join the Summit, the recent defeat of Dr. Frank Sloth, and the refusal of three other leaders to attend the summit in Maraqua, it doesn’t look like the event will even be held.

Meanwhile, TNT struggles to balance the opening of the Pound with the flaming of many Neopians and the demands of Commander Garoo on behalf of his beloved master and the rest of Neopia panics over the question of Sloth’s rule which, despite Garoo’s assertions, has yet to even enter the first stages of negotiation.

Will the N8 Summit go ahead as planned? Will Sloth return to take over Neopia while TNT sit back and munch on asparagus, or will there be an unexpected hero? Find out on the next installment of *POP* *FIZZLE* *BANG*

*beep... beep... beep... beep...*

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