The Truth Behind the Mysterious Spacecraft
Chances are, if you’ve spent any time traveling around Neopia, then you’ve probably noticed at some point a mysterious white and green spacecraft that circles the map. But what is the meaning of this spacecraft? Is it a passenger craft or a satellite? What is it there for? Is it a friend or foe? As a seasoned Neopian traveler, I have to admit that the presence of this spacecraft has always perplexed me. Now, I’m not one to be considered... *twitches* paranoid or anything, but there is something very disturbing about an unidentified flying spacecraft that is allowed to circle Neopia without explanation... something very disturbing indeed, oh yes. The rest of you may prance off to your Poogle Races, Tiki Tours, and Garage sales as you please, but I for one intend to get to the bottom of this mystery! I hope you will all join me. Let us examine the theories:
The Current Rumors
First of all, there have already been several ideas thrown around Neopia as to what this spacecraft is used for, including a “weather satellite” or “pilot-in-training” spacecraft. Don’t believe any of it. I refuse to accept the current idea that the spacecraft is simply for “observing Neopian weather.” Yeah, that’s a good one... perhaps it’s nothing more than a “simple satellite” that revolves around Neopia, “innocently” sending image data to the Virtupets Space Station. Perhaps it’s closely monitored by highly capable satellite technicians who record data entries, and then write up detailed reports regarding the weather. Perhaps there is nothing mysterious or strange at all about the entire situation. Yeah, RIGHT! We all know this is nonsense! If this was some weather-monitoring satellite, then why haven’t we heard about it before?! Believe me, fellow Neopians, you must disregard any claims that you hear calling this spacecraft a “satellite”; I assure you that they are false. The same goes for practice pilots learning to fly. No pilot in training would ever be allowed to revolve perpetually around Neopia in this frivolous manner.
Here are MY speculations, as to the very sinister and foreboding possible reasons for the spacecraft.
Possibility #1: Dr. Sloth’s Private Spaceship
I’m sure we would ALL love to believe that evil Dr. Sloth is gone for good, but I have reason to believe that Sloth himself may be behind this. Have any of you read the Neopedia lately? It describes a nightmare that Dr. Sloth has, in which he pilots a spacecraft! Coincidence? I think NOT! This could very well be the foreshadowing of the return of Dr. Sloth in his persistent attempts to enslave Neopia. If we don’t all stand together, we will fall under attack and all chaos will ensue. Imagine your neopets working endless hours, doing the bidding of greedy Dr. Sloth as he sits around idly eating Cherry Sloth Yoghurt and playing with Usuki Dolls (rumored to be a secret passion of his since childhood... who knew?). This injustice cannot be allowed to occur. Now, I realize that many of you will need some evidence to prove that Sloth is actually inside the spacecraft for you to believe me, so allow me to point out a very important fact: the spacecraft is white and green. Dr. Sloth is green. Need I say more?
Possibility #2: Attack on Kreludor
Yes, I know, everyone asks, “Who would want to attack Kreludor?” I’m sorry, my friends, but I have insider information telling me that the reason for this could actually be due to jealousy between long-time restaurant rivals Café Kreludor and Grundos Café. Any of you who’ve visited the hip new Café Kreludor and talked with the owner have heard his words: “Grundos Café? Bah, that old dump! Café Kreludor is MUCH better.” And all of us who’ve been to “Grundos” recently have seen the foul expression on the angry Grundo’s face, and his somewhat... threatening pose with that fork and spoon. (Sheesh... wouldn’t want to get into a skirmish with that one.) Neopians are just simply getting tired of the old Squashed Salisbury Steak and Cheese Manicotti. They want Fresh Kreluberries and Kreludan Jelly Cupcakes now. However, if there suddenly ceased to be a competition, then of course everyone would be forced to return to Grundos for a bite to eat while traveling in space. Therefore, I think the evidence is clear that this spacecraft could actually be an attack on Café Kreludor with the purpose of taking over the business and starting a new chain of Grundos Cafes. I cannot even begin to stress the devastating effects that could be caused on many Neopians by Kreludan food withdrawal. Let us stop this attack! Let us fight for our food! Let us fight WITH our food if we must! But for Fyora’s sake, let’s not just sit by and wait for one of our favorite snack stops to be eliminated... or worse, go under new management.
Possibility #3: Newest Attraction in the Deserted Fairground
This idea of a new attraction may seem far-fetched, but the simple fact of the matter is that the Deserted Fairground doesn’t get much business, and with good reason. (I mean, how much fun do you have when you’re there? Yeah, that’s what I thought.) In fact, most Neopians, when given the opportunity to spend a day in the Deserted Fairground, shudder at the idea and admit that they’d rather eat Poisonous Jelly than submit themselves to the Carnival of Terror or sample some Spooky Food. The Deserted Fairground needs a marketing scheme! A tourist trap! And this might be it... just imagine: “Come one, come all, to the newest attraction of all, board our flight, have no fright, hardly anyone falls.” I for one would never be crazy enough to trust a spaceflight operated by the likes of the Deserted Fairground, but we know that there are those double-daring, thrill-seeking Neopians who would give it a try. But for the sake of our sweet neopets, I highly recommend that this dangerous scheme be stopped before someone finds themself free falling from outer space towards Maraqua without any flotation devices. Or swimming skills, for that matter. (We don’t all own Flotsams here, you know.) If this is the real reason behind the spacecraft, I suggest a Neopian-wide boycott of the attraction until it has been approved and is up to regulation standards.
Possibility #4: Prank by a group of mischievous Neopets
This just goes to show the importance of good Neoschools in Neopia. Without them, then any group of young pranksters can pull off something like this! It’s a matter of several neopets that get it into their heads that it would be funny to steal a spacecraft and fly it around Neopia. What are our neopets learning in Neoschool these days? Don’t they know any better? Judging by the daring upside-down maneuvers that I have seen them attempt while flying, I am sure that they do not even have their Neopian Pilot Permits, in which case matters are made even worse. They probably read books like Moon Missions and Constellation Spotting and decided they’d go off on their own expedition. If your neopets have mysteriously gone missing, I would investigate this to see if they might be involved in this silly prank, and I’d also recommend that they are not allowed any more trips to the Chocolate Factory until they can learn to behave better and leave this kind of nonsense for April Fool’s Day. (It was over a month ago, guys!) Another possibility is that the neopets are actually escapees from the newly opened Neopian Pound, simply looking for attention and a way to set themselves apart on adoption days. These poor abandoned pets need homes and someone to care for them so that they won’t go back to their dangerous ideas! Let’s hope that our new educational system can be of service with this matter.
Possibility #5: Invasion of the Meepits
Now, I must admit, I was very reluctant to bring this up, but the truth is, a Meepit Invasion would be the worst-case scenario as to the purpose of the mysterious flying spacecraft. They may look harmless, but let us not be fooled by outward appearances! Despite the fact that several of my Neopian friends own meepits, I have to admit that these wide-eyed little critters give me the creeps! There, I said it... Does no one else feel helpless under their stare? Am I the only one who cringes at the sight of their teeth and shudders at the sound of their “meeps?” Doesn’t anyone else feel the urge to run far far away while they are near? To escape while there is still hope... to find refuge... from the meepits... watching us... always watching us... waiting until the moment is right, and then... *shudders uncontrollably*
I’m sorry, I don’t want to offend anyone, but I truly believe that these panic-inducing petpets are out to get us. I believe with my whole heart that there are thousands of them inside that green and white spacecraft, circling Neopia and just waiting for the right moment to invade and attack our beautiful planet. I believe that they have a hyper-advanced intelligence hidden within their little brains that is constantly plotting the means of our demise. I didn’t want to say anything before, I didn’t want to scare anyone with the truth, but if it doesn’t come out now, then there is no hope! We must save ourselves! Control your meepits! Haven’t you seen them looking at the sky, waiting for orders from the commander spacecraft? Haven’t you heard them conversing with others of their kind, “meeping” in their secret codes? It’s obvious! Anyone who says otherwise is just kidding themselves! But we still have a chance... spread the word, hide your belongings, lock up your meepits, take your neopets and flee, do what you must! Or better yet, let us band together, and Neopia, as one, will stand against this imminent invasion! You may all think I’m crazy, but if you don’t heed my warning, you’ll regret it when they arrive.
Hopefully now, those of you who never stopped to consider the possible meaning behind the mysterious white and green spacecraft will join me in investigating the matter even more thoroughly. It could be an innocent spacecraft, it could be an utter disaster. If there is some greater explanation behind its existence, then let the Neopets Team come forth and proclaim it! Let them settle this matter once and for all, and provide us with the knowledge we crave! But if not, I hope to see us all work together to find the answer, and protect the beautiful Neopia that we so love and cherish.
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