White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 176,434,869 Issue: 339 | 18th day of Eating, Y10
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Mutant Pets: Good, not Evil


by phonics21354

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I am sad to report that in a previous article on why certain colors of pets could not wear clothing, some harmful, derogatory phrases were used to describe mutant pets. This user (who shall remain nameless), said that mutant pets were “evil and depraved”. (For those younger Neopians, depraved means sinful, morally corrupted, evil. I would also like to point how repetitive this is.) Saying all mutant pets are evil is incredibly hurtful. Sure, some mutants worked for Dr. Sloth, but they aren’t all evil, and it’s not like other pets aren’t evil; there have been recorded cases of truly evil desert, Mystery Island, Darigan, Halloween, Shadow, and even Snot pets. The user also mentioned that many of them “drool toxic waste”. How untrue this is! Only the Techo, Quiggle, Kiko, Gnorbu, and Flotsam drool (due to a malfunctioning jaw present in those species), which is only about 12% of the total species of mutant pets (and one of these pets’ drool isn’t even toxic). Finally, this user also said that mutant pets lack “a certain delicacy... a certain finesse... a certain lack of poking scales” to hold hand-held items. What false allegations! Not every mutant has scales, and many mutant pets are extremely agile and very delicate despite their looks. This article is to show that mutants have a nice side like every other color pet.

I’ll be interviewing mutants, non-mutants, and former mutants on their views on this issue. First up, my very own mutant, Mutant_Locust_Guy!

Me: Hello, Locust_Guy, as your owner, I’m here to ask you some questions regarding mutants and how they, like any other pet, have a sunny side. Would you mind answering some of my questions?

Mutant_Locust_Guy: Not at all, Charles, I’m glad to help. Ask away!

Me: Okay, first up: Have you ever performed an evil action/are you evil right now?

Mutant: Why, of course not! You of all people should know that I’m one of the nicest, mildest pets you’ve ever met. I would never want to be evil, or harm another fellow Neopian!

Me: Thank you, Mutant. Is it okay if I call you that?

Mutant: Ummm, why wouldn’t it? You are my creator after all.

Me: (This is supposed to be official, Mutant, or it won’t get published)

Mutant: Oh, right! I mean, of course it’s fine if you call me that. What’s your next question, Charles?

Me: Mutant, have you ever been persecuted for the way you look?

Mutant: Unfortunately, I have, Charles. As I entered Neopia Central, I decided to greet my fellow Neopians with a daisy for all, and how did they repay me? They drove me into this dung cave and put up traps to try and capture for who-knows-what reasons.

Me: Oh my! How horrible that must be. Now, we all know you’ve been persecuted by Neopians, but have you ever been helped by them as well?

Mutant: As a matter of fact, I have been helped. Kind souls who are considered “beautiful” by Neopia, such as chester21354, have helped me. Without them, I would never have survived.

Me: Thank you for your time, Mutant. And stop eating those cookies I use to throw at TNT; they’ll get caught in your wings.

Mutant: *grumbles*

Okay, time for our next interview! Now for another point of view, a pet who is not and never has been mutant. Introducing Sparxy_warxy!

Me: Hello, Mr. Sparxy_warxy. As you know, mutants have been cast in a somewhat bad light. I’m here to interview you on your views on this issue. First question: Do you personally know any mutants?

Sparxy_warxy: As a matter of fact, I do. A mutant Lupe is one of my closest friends.

Me: Oh really? And how does this Lupe behave? (Oh, and if you don’t mind, may I call you Sparx?)

Sparx: Well, as for the matter of how this Lupe behaves, he is perfectly normal. He is extremely nice, often giving to poorer Neopians, and not once has he ever acted in an evil way (although he did snag a rare morphing potion before I could get to it). And I don’t mind what you call me, but you’ll have to ask neotreyltriplea; he can get antsy at times.

Me: *Ah-hem* Anyway, Sparx, how do you feel mutants should be treated in today’s society?

Sparx: Well, I believe that mutants should be treated as all other pets are, and not persecuted for the way they look. If we were all mutants, Neopia would be a better place!

Me: Wow, you certainly do feel strongly about this issue. Here’s the final question, Sparx: If you could be mutant, would you?

Sparx: If I could get a Lupe transmogrification potion, I would gobble it up in seconds. Mutant Lupes are extremely cool and I would love to be one!

Me: Thank you so much for your time, Sparx, and...

(Neotreyltriplea suddenly enters the room)

Neotreyltriplea: WHAT?!?! Nobody calls him Sparx but me!

(Neotreyltriplea begins throwing spatulas)

Me: AAAH!! Run!!! Oh no, one’s coming straight for my eye!

(One de-spatulating later)

Well, that was certainly exciting! Now, as you may have guessed, another interview. I’m about to speak with Lazz204, a robot Pteri who used to be a mutant Techo.

Me: Hello, Mr. Lazz204, as you may have heard, a problem is plaguing today’s Neopia: Mutant discrimination. I’m here to see what your opinion is of this issue. First question: As a former mutant, how did you act, and how do you act now?

Lazz204: As a Mutant, I admit I acted more wildly in battle, but my personality remained unchanged. Now that I'm a Robot, I like acting official and whatnot, and talking in third-person, referring to myself as "Unit" quite often.

Me: So basically, being a mutant doesn’t necessarily change who you are?

Lazz: Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Me: Okay, second question: As a mutant, were you ever mistreated for the way you looked?

Lazz: While I was a Mutant Techo, I was constantly pestered by people who made fun of my abnormally long tongue, and especially annoyed when they backed out of a Battledome challenge to back up their jabs, so most of the time I spat acid at them while they ran away in terror. Some didn't make fun of me, though, like fellow Mutants, my family, Mutant activists, etc.

Me: Very interesting. Now, for our third to last question, Lazz (and I’m gonna call you that, whether you like it or not, so deal): Now that you aren't mutant, do people treat you differently?

Lazz: Um, being called Lazz is perfectly fine with me and my owner. Now, as for that question, people treat me differently now that I'm a Robot, but there are still the occasional few who make fun of my Robot-ness, or remember when I was Mutant. Of course, now I intimidate many of the ones who insulted me, being made out of metal and whatnot.

Me: OOOH! Intimidation! That must feel good!

Lazz: Why, yes, it does, but I always remember to be nice and keep my cool.

Me: Awwww... I mean, of course, that’s what anyone would do. Now for the last question: How do you personally feel mutants should be treated?

Lazz: I think Mutants shouldn't be treated so poorly, and whenever I see someone who is around my skill level and is bashing Mutants, I swiftly pummel them to a pulp. Thank you for your time, and I hope you are able to spread a positive word about Mutants!

Me: Why Lazz, violence is NEVER the answer (unless it gets results)! Before we finish our interview, I have one final, final question: Do you like pie?

Lazz: Pie?!? I LOVE PIE!

(One pie break later)

Well, people of Neopia, I am sad to say that I have only one more interview, and it’ll be another mutant, who I did NOT create, to prove I’m not biased (PSSST, they never proved I brainwashed Mutant_Locust_Guy). Next up, presenting the amazing Sabre__19! (Who I shall refer to as Sabre with no ifs, ands, or buts.)

Me: Why, hello there, Sabre, seeing as I promised these nice people a final interview, why not with you, a true mutant!

Sabre__19: Well, I was planning on eating some pie, but because SOMEONE already ate it in their last pie break, I guess I can be interviewed.

Me: Great... I think. Okay, anyway, here’s the first question: As a mutant, how do you feel you behave?

Sabre: I haven't been mutated very long, but I behave the same as I did before I was mutated. My behavior hasn't changed. I have always been a care-free, simple, Chia-eating Lupe!

Me: Well, that’s fine with me; I don’t have any Chias!

(The Neopian Times neither approves nor disproves of the idea of eating Chias or any other Neopets.)

Me: Weird... somehow a weird phrase of protection by not taking a side popped up in the middle of our interview. Anyway, next question: Have you ever been mistreated as a mutant?

Sabre: Surprisingly, no, I haven’t, at least not to my face. But unfortunately I have witnessed on multiple occasions “normal” pets picking on “ugly” mutant pets. Yet, I’m pretty sure it will happen to me eventually.

Me: Gosh, that’s so sad... See people, this is why something needs to be done! Okay, anyway, here’s the second to last question: Has anyone assisted you, despite the fact that you are a mutant?

Sabre: Of course! Before I was transmogrified, I had many friends, and it seems that I’m one of the lucky ones, for they have stayed by my side.

Me: That’s wonderful! I wish every mutant were treated the same as you are! Finally, (as you may have predicted) my final question: How do you think mutants should be viewed in today's society?

Sabre: I have a simple answer to that question: Mutants should be treated exactly the same as every other color of pet.

Me: Very profound, Sabre. Now, to thank you for this interview at such a late time, here’s a Chia treat!

(Hands over Chocolate Chia Treat)

Sabre: YUM! Wait... what’s this? This isn’t real Chia! GRRRR...

(Skedaddles out of here)

Well, there you go. These are my interviews with other pets on how mutant pets should be treated, and it seems there is an overwhelming number of people and Neopets who think they should be treated the same as other pets. So here’s something you should think about before you make fun of mutant pet: It’s what’s in the inside that counts, never, ever, ever, the outside. Thank you for your time, and I hope this makes a difference.

I’d like to give a special thanks to neotreyltriplea, hobgoblin13, flamesword64, and the rest of Misunderstood Mutants.

 
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