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Why They Don't Wear Clothes!

by indulgences


By now, we’ve all gotten used to customizing our pets, even those of us with unconverted pets (aren’t those backgrounds and trinkets neat?). We love donning hats, scarves, T-shirts, and other clothes on their little bodies, and we love accessorizing them with umbrellas, books, fountains, what have you.

But there are three neglected segments of the Neopet population that, sadly, can’t don clothes or hand-held accessories. These are the Baby Neopets, the Maraquan Neopets, and the Mutant Neopets. Most Neopians guess that because their body shapes are so unique, they don’t fit in with the customizing program for other Neopets of their species, such as a Baby Shoyru versus a Desert Shoyru.

Yet there are probably other reasons why the Babies, Maraquans, and Mutants lack customizable clothes and hand-held accessories. Why don’t we explore a few? Here are some of the top reasons why certain Neopet colors can’t be customized as extensively as others can!

Baby Neopets

Some Baby Neopets come with their own accessories, such as bibs for Baby Kacheeks, or suckers for Baby Jubjubs. But unfortunately, not all of them do, which leaves many Baby Neopet owners bereft of clothing and accessory options.

So why the lack of customizable clothes and hand-held accessories for Baby Neopets? Well, let’s just consider their destructive behaviors. Yes, you heard me, destructive. Anyone who has dealt with babies in real life knows that babies will gnaw, scribble on, and besmirch anything they lay their grubby little paws on. They will drool on precious fabrics, chew on things that shouldn’t be ingested, and clap their hands in glee after surveying their vandalism.

This is why Baby Neopets can only be customized with trinkets and backgrounds. The trinkets are too large to be swallowed and too tough to be broken down into edible pieces, and the backgrounds are simply environments for them to play in!

Yes, I do realize that certain trinkets and backgrounds *seem* unfit for infants, such as the Lava Fountain Toy and the Tyrannian Volcano Lair Background, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: the lava in both items is actually just melted cheese. So just give your little one a breadstick and let it dabble in its surroundings!

Maraquan Neopets

Unlike Baby Neopets, Maraquan Neopets don’t come with any accessories or clothes at all. This leaves most owners at a loss as to how to customize their pets. They’re limited to using appropriate backgrounds and creative trinkets to decorate their Neopets’ surroundings, and they’ll pay special attention to their Neopets’ particular colors to color-coordinate their efforts.

So why are Maraquan Neopets limited this way? Let’s consider the environment they’re born of: Maraqua, an underwater landmass protected by the great King Kelpbeard. There the creatures swimming around the water have no need to burden themselves with clothes, since they’re accustomed to a constant water temperature of around 0 degrees Celsius. After several millennia of the same environment, the creatures have evolved to conform to the non-fluctuating climate. Hence, there’s no need for clothes to protect themselves from brutal weather.

Why can’t Maraquan Neopets wear hand-held accessories, like umbrellas and kites? Well, underwater creatures have no need for such things. Why can’t they wear hand puppets and purses? Well, underwater creatures have fins and flippers, and can’t really wear hand puppets or carry purses. Land creatures can normally lay the objects they can’t wear on the floor, but if Maraquan Neopets tried to do the same thing, their belongings would get swept away by the tide. Hence, Maraquan Neopets have abandoned hand-held accessories altogether. Losing the items would just add to the underwater flotsam and jetsam (the items that are thrown into the sea, NOT the Neopets, hehe) and they dislike garbage.

Mutant Neopets

Mutant Neopets, like Maraquan Neopets, don’t come with any accessories or clothes either, and they can’t wear customizable clothes and hand-held accessories. There are many reasons why, the first having to do with vanity. The main reason why Mutant Neopets can’t wear clothes is because they love to dramatically rip them off at the chest, slow-motion style, for the benefit of pretend audiences. They love to show off their bulky muscles and pretend that their massive selves are being fearfully watched.

The second reason why Mutant Neopets can’t wear clothes is because many of them drool toxic waste, such as the Techo, the Kiko and the Gnorbu. Any clothes they acquire would dissolve in a matter of minutes, which is why they forgo such fripperies as clothes and hand-held accessories.

Why can’t they wear hand-held accessories like purses and balloons? Well, Mutant Neopets aren’t interested in that sort of thing. They’ll tolerate trinkets because they’re always stuffed into a distant corner, but hand-held accessories require a certain delicacy... a certain finesse... a certain lack of poking scales... to pull off the look.

What Can We Do?

So are you wondering how to customize your Baby, Maraquan, or Mutant Neopet given the limited choices you have? Here are some wacky and interesting suggestions for customizing your Neopets. I’ve always been interested by Neopets that look like they have a story to tell, so hopefully you’ll take some of these suggestions to heart and figure out some creative ways to uniquely customize your Neopets!

The Gross Type: Winter Shenkuu River Rush Board + Dung Cave Background

The Crazy Type: Winter Shenkuu River Rush Board + Tyrannian Volcano Lair Background

The Blank Caffeinated Stupor Type: Borovan Press + Faerie Painted Background

The Insanely Cheerful Type: Bucket Of Sand + Bone Vault Background

The Accident-Prone Baby: Gormball Field Background (comes with its own puddle)

The Caves Explorer: Campfire + Ice Caves Background or Creepy Cave Background or Dung Cave Background

The Harvester: Janitor Bucket + Buzzer Hive Background

The Continuity Disrupter: Campfire or Techo Kite + Underwater Background

The Bubble Popper: Toy Bullseye or Toy Arrow Launcher + Bubble Paper Background

The Aftermath Type (funnier): Toy Bullseye or Toy Arrow Launcher + Used Bubble Paper Background

The Overachiever: Techo Kite + Cloudy Sky Background

The I-Hate-The-Holidays Type: Ice Garland + Fire Painted Background

The Fondue Lover: Lava Fountain Toy + Cheese Shop Background

The best way to showcase your Neopet with its backgrounds and trinkets is to have a section on your lookup explaining why you decorated them the way that you did. For instance, you could make a table on your lookup with a picture of each customized Neopet along with your description of it.

Ex. Baby Neopet using The Aftermath Type: Like most babies, my Neopet is really destructive and has a tendency to rip things apart. So I stuffed her into a room covered in bubble paper along with her own personal stock of arrows. Never squelch a child’s artistic impulses, I always say!

Ex. Maraquan Neopet using The Overachiever: An underwater Neopet positioned high in the clouds, wielding a kite? Only my overachieving Neopet would do something like that! He’s always the first to break the mold, and he’s always trying new things! I do hope he’s careful!

Ex. Mutant Neopet using The Insanely Cheerful Type: As an evil and depraved mutant Neopet, there’s nothing more comforting to her than being surrounded by the bones of less fortunate Neopets. So I’ve given her a bucket and a scoop to play at digging up and burying bones! Creepy, isn’t it?

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