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Top 10 Things NOT to Give Your Valentine

by imogenweasley


Also by water_park1993

Valentine's Day is quickly approaching, and you're probably going crazy thinking of what you could give as a present to a special friend, also known as 'your Valentine'. Well, don't panic! It's not as hard as it seems. You might be asking everyone you know for advice, but here's a little secret: All you really need to know is what NOT to give. As long as you know what to avoid, whatever you give should be a nice gift. For that reason, we have compiled a list of the top 10 things you should definitely not give your Valentine. Hopefully this will help you with your dilemma!


This really doesn't look like something you should eat!

The tenth thing that you must remember not to give is the Slime Sundae! Who would like to get a glass with green slime all around, and an eye on top? Certainly no one! I bet your Valentine would rather have you, not their food, to stare at them. So, a Slime Sundae is a sure no-no for this special occasion, because as everyone knows it is you with your Valentine, not you, your Valentine and an eye!


Just don't kiss your Mortog, you never know what may happen.

If you want to give a petpet, you should probably stay away from Mortogs. Petpets are cute, or most of them are, but these could be an special case. Anything that can explode in your Valentine's face if they try to kiss it is not a good idea. You probably don't want the Mortog transforming into a prince or princess either. It wouldn't be nice to lose your Valentine to them! Mortogs are also, dirty, slimy and evil petpets (more evil than Meepits, if they can steal your Valentine), so stay away from them!


A squidgy slab of dirt complete with roots and all!

A pie is a great idea to give to your Valentine; just not every pie! Read the name carefully and slowly and you will understand why! Choose another pie, not Dirt Pie! Your Valentine won't be really happy when he/she opens the present and see an almost dead flower, sticking out of the pie; and what a pie! Make no mistake, dirt might look like chocolate at first glance; but we can assure you it's not nearly as tasty!


Keep intruders at bay with these spooky looking Snake Roses. They wriggle in the wind and look just like real serpents.

Flowers are really pretty and almost always a good idea, but this one is an exception. Don't be fooled by its name; it might be a rose, but a snake rose is not as romantic as you might hope. It certainly doesn't smell that nice, and rumors have it that it can bite! If your Valentine is afraid of serpents and you don't know it, you don't want to find out while giving this rose as a present, because you will find out the hard way!


It reeks, it is messy, and your opponent will hate it. One Use.

Muffins are spiffy gifts, when no dung is involved! Tell me someone who enjoys munching a muffin that tastes like dung! No one! So, stay away from muffins that stretch the definition of 'edible' too much. If you give this as a present, you Valentine will probably throw it back at you. While it might be bad as food, it could be a good weapon, so watch out from the Smelly Dung Muffin!


No one likes to receive this plant.

The description of this item is right. I don't know why you would even think of giving this to your Valentine, but if you're reading this article, you probably won't turn down any advice. Not everything that seems to be heart-themed makes a good gift, especially if the item in question starts with broken, has heart in it and ends with flower, making the word Broken Heart Flower!


Lumpy, gooey and chewy at the same time!

As cute as this is, the opposite disgusting it is! Imagine a candle-lit room, and you, eating Snot Spaghetti... Not the most delicious food, especially when you are eating with your Valentine, is it? Anything snotty makes you think of dung, which makes you think of disgust... Not the best images on a Valentine day. So don't make your Valentine eat this spaghetti if you don't want to be kicked out.


This balloon wont be floating anymore.

Don't you and your Valentine want to fly high up in the sky? Then two to three balloons can do the job, quickly and easily! Just make sure they can handle all the weight... First of all, it must not be a deflated one, for obvious reasons! Secondly, it must not be a Deflated Heart Balloon, for even more obvious reasons! You don't want to pass the wrong messages, do you?


This heart pendant seems to have been a bit too fragile.

What is better than a Valentine, wearing a pendant? Actually, nothing is better, but it depends on the pendant, really. Imagine someone wearing a Broken Heart Pendant... First of all, just like above, the heart is broken; what else do you need? So, stay away from anything broken. Valentine's Day needs something cute, lovable and funny! So, make the right choice, my friend, go for another pendant.


The bit right at the end of the tube is the best bit!

Once you see this item's name, we are sure you would rush to buy it! No way, though; come back and read the rest of this! The name might have 'chocolate' in it, but its shape isn't really handy! Anyone can easily spill chocolate all around the furniture, Neohome, and literally everywhere with this Chocolate Eclair Paste. You don't want you and your Valentine's clothes to become brown, do you? You could always purposely wear brown to avoid this, but your Valentine might not like it anyway.

So there you have it. The Top Ten of what NOT to give this Valentine's day. What do you say now? Are you ready to have fun with that special friend? Do you know what to get them now? No, you say? Well, don't worry! At least you know what to stay clear off. If you already had an idea and it's in this list, you might want to reconsider! We're not responsible if you have a bad day as a consequence of ignoring this list. It's good advice, trust us.

Now, something special for all of you. We know that you loved our article and that you are currently hitting your head on the wall, trying to get just the right gift! So here it is, just for you!

The best.

Send this to somebody on the 14th of February!

The ultimate thing to get for your Valentine. It is pink, it has a red as rose heart in front, and surely in it, it has a lot of love letters! Show your love and friendship with this superb card!

Now the only thing you must remember is to have fun! Happy Valentine's Day!

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