Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 158,073,880 Issue: 316 | 2nd day of Storing, Y9
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Memoirs of a Lab Rat


by averryyy

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Tuesday, October 02

     Oh my gosh, I am so excited! My owner JUST got the secret lab map set for me! I think I might die of happiness. I don’t know why all those pets at school are complaining all the time. It seems fun. My owner told me to keep a journal of all my exciting changes to look back on, so that’s why I’m writing this. She said she’d try and zap me until I’m pink or some other beautiful color I like. I know I’m already purple but being zapped pink is way too tempting. Anyways, after I’m done with the lab she’ll start zapping unpainted pets and pounding them. My older sister Huneyydew says that she’s happy with her speckled color and doesn’t want to be zapped, but I think my brother Puddgyy might try it a couple times. Well, I've got to go; time for my first zap!

Tuesday, October 02, Later

     I can’t believe this. I was zapped into a boy. A BOY on my FIRST ZAP! I would stop going to the lab ray in protest of this heinous crime, but I really want to be a girl again. Purple on a boy just doesn’t work. And what if I had been painted royal? I shudder at the thought of me as a boy, in royal girl clothes. I am a GIRL Wocky for heaven's sake! I better be changed back, or at least changed into an awesome color just to make up for all this male/female business.

     My brother is laughing his head off of course. Huneyydew is trying not to laugh, but isn’t succeeding very well. She’s got to remember her walls are made of jelly and are NOT soundproof! I can hear her laughing all the way down the hall.

Wednesday, October 3

     Well, my owner was happy today, but I’m not sure what to think. She got an avatar today, and I’m a blue Usul. I kind of want to go buy a green Uni morphing potion. Usul just isn’t my thing.

Monday, October 8

     I’m a Koi, I’m a Koi, and I’m a Koi! It’s different from a Wocky or Usul, but I like it! I’m a limited edition pet that I actually think ISN’T ugly. But I’m still a boy. Ugh, dumb lab ray. WHY CAN’T I BE A GIRL?

Friday, November 16

     There hasn’t been much to report for the past month. Just some stat changes. Up two levels, down 2 levels, down two defense points, back to level one, etcetera. But something interesting happened today. I’m SPONGE! It is SO cool, especially on a Koi. My owner won’t let me near any water larger than a puddle, but I look so awesome! And I only weigh about a pound. Unfortunately, I must let myself be zapped tomorrow again because I am still a BOY!

     At least my siblings stopped laughing. Well, sort of.

Saturday, November 17

     God, I am so SICK of the lab ray! WHY WON’T IT CHANGE ME INTO A GIRL? And I went back to level one today, right after I got a free lesson at the training school for Koi Day! I’m telling you, this lab ray business is no joke.

     Well, at least something good came out of the lab ray. My owner finally convinced me to let my Mazzew, Mizzy, be zapped by the petpet lab ray, and she turned PINK! My favorite color ever. Puddgyy is really jealous, I can tell. His Snicklebeast isn’t a cool color like Mizzy. He is totally begging our owner to let him zap his petpet. Ha-ha, I hope McFluffy gets turned into a pile of soot tomorrow.

Sunday, November 18

     HAHAHAHAHA! Puddgyy won’t go NEAR McFluffy anymore after he turned into a SPYDER! Puddgyy’s greatest fear is Spyders. Of course he would never admit that to anyone, but you can totally tell because whenever McFluffy goes near him, he screams and runs into the other room. So of course, I’m stuck caring for the little guy. I personally think he’s adorable. Although Puddgyy might want to consider changing the name.

     Right now he’s begging our owner to let him zap McFluffy again. I think he should, it’s pathetic how revolted he is by his own petpet.

Sunday, November 18

     I think Puddgyy's happy. He is now the proud owner of a Spotted Gruslen. I think I’ll wait until I zap Mizzy again; I like her new pink color.

     In other news, I’m still Sponge, still a Koi, and still a boy. Hey, that rhymes! Anyway, all I’ve been getting are stat changes. I don’t know what that mad scientist’s problem is, but if I don’t change into a girl soon, he should be on the lookout a lot in the future, that’s all I’m saying.

Thursday, December 6

     FINALLY!!!! I’m a girl. Oh it feels so good to be feminine. After my zap I made my owner take me to the grooming parlor, the clothing shop, and Usuki Land, which I usually avoid like the plague. Those dolls are out to take over Neopia; I’m serious.

     I’m kind of over being sponge though. It gets tiring when I suddenly get really heavy after drinking something. Maybe I’ll turn faerie or something.

Monday, December 10

     I’m a boy AGAIN!!! I hate this lab ray. The next time I’m a girl sponge Koi, I will never, repeat, NEVER, go to the lab ray ever again. Gosh, for the past three days I’ve been getting nothing happened and I wanted something to happen, and THIS happened. I think that mad scientist enjoys torturing poor neopets as a sick, cruel joke. Oh well, at least Mizzy turned into a Faerie Kadoatie today. She is the cutest petpet in the world. I can’t wait to show all my friends!

     Puddgyy really needs an attitude adjustment. Just because I’m his sister, does not mean he can laugh and make fun of me all he wants. I think I’ll zap his petpet, just to get revenge.

Tuesday, December 11

     Well, I’m in shock. No one will go near me anymore, and Puddgyy stopped laughing because he’s afraid I’ll touch him with my hand. I’m a snot Aisha. Don’t even laugh, or I will poke you with my snot finger, and that’s not very pleasant, believe me. At least it’s a rare color. But even that won’t cheer me up. I absolutely refuse to go in my room for fear of messing it up in any way. Even my petpet is avoiding me. And Kadoaties are supposed to be loyal! I can’t wait for tomorrow. I don’t even care that I’m still a boy. Just PLEASE zap me a different color! I beg you, cruel old mad scientist!

Friday, December 14

     Ok, I have two exciting things to say today. The first is that yesterday I was zapped into a Faerie Xweetok!!!!! I am so HAPPY!! And the second thing is, I was zapped into a girl today! Apparently that mad scientist is finally on my side. Or he found another victim for his cruel joke. Either way, I’m DONE with the lab ray, I’m a beautiful faerie neopet, and I have an awesome rare faerie petpet. I think I’ll write one more entry in my journal tomorrow. It’s my brother’s first zap and I want to remember what happens!

Sunday, December 16

     Oh. My. Gosh. I am so angry right now, I can barely write. But I will anyways.

     Yesterday, Puddgyy was zapped and turned into a blue Bori. He was pretty fine about it, although he was pretty upset he couldn’t fly. However, the next day he was zapped into a Darigan Eyrie. ON HIS SECOND ZAP! He took one look at himself and said all smugly, “I’m done.”

     I could have punched him.

     On a brighter note, he zapped his Spotted Gruslen into a pile of soot.

     Tee-hee.

The End

 
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