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Advertisements Attack: Amazing Ace Assaults Ads!

by spongebob234529


SPACE STATION - A Grundo programmer works hard on his new game. His last few games have all been boring, horrendous, sloppy, and just plain lame. He’s got it this time: Ace Zafara vs. Race Robot in the amazing SUPER RACE! In the beta edition of the game, it’s gotten high amounts of praise by all the Space Station employees- Dr. Sloth himself wants to play it. Sloth’s amazed; never before has clicking randomly been fun as this! Millions of people are going to play this game; and he wants to cash in.

Welcome to Advert Attack; the game where you guide Ace Zafara to the finish line before time runs out; and simultaneously, you’ll be slogged with hundreds of ads to block your progress. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

The game play is basic enough; you just need to click upon the comic-book style “Go!” buttons with your mouse as they appear. Doing so about 30 times in a round will send Ace across the finish line. Behold the Time Bonus clock below the racing area; this is essentially your life; when it runs out, you do too. The amount of time you have coincides with Race Robot’s speed; if the clock runs out, Race’ll cross the finish line at the same time. This bonus, however, can be quite useful in the first few levels, since the amount that it shows is added to the level completion bonus. More on that later.

As you pass through the rounds, you’ll reach a screen where you will see Sloth’s marketing room- on this screen you’ll get a summary of your current score. Here’s how you rack up the points in Advert Attack:

  • 50 points for completing a level
  • The time remaining upon completing a level is also added to your score
  • At the end of the game, (when you lose) you’ll get a progress bonus equal to the amount of levels you passed through.

Sloth wants to profit off the game, however, so not every level is going to be as simple as clicking “Go!” buttons. He’ll bombard each level after the first with numerous pop-ups advertising his devious and malicious products. These evil pop-ups will usually block the area that the “Go!” buttons appear, thus stopping progress. You’ll need to either move or close the pop-up to continue in this case. Here’s a list of the types of pop-ups you’ll encounter.

  • The Easy and not so annoying pop-up: these are easy to close and rather small in size. Some examples are the Krawk Corporation pop-up (just press No or click the red X to close), the Scorchy Slots pop-up, and the Virtupets Home Page pop-up. These are the least of your worries and should be moved or clicked away as soon as they are in your way (when a “Go!” button is covered by one). If one of these blocks the top part of your screen (the area where no “Go!” buttons will ever appear), ignore it.
  • The Moderate Pop-ups, which are a little bit more annoying to close: these are the ones that are all white and have a little bit of black text that says, “Close this Window.” These ads can be hard to close since there’s not a clear border around the text, so you’ll have to click straight on it. They also can’t be moved out of the way, but again, they are relatively small and not hard to deal with. As with the previous type, ignore them unless they’re in your way.
  • The Super Annoying Pull-Your-Hair-Out Pop-ups: these are HUGE, and usually block more than 50% of your “Go!” area. Some examples would be the Money Tree pop-up, the old login page popup (has a Faerie Aisha and blocks the whole screen; obviously this MUST be closed ASAP), and the infamous Kyrii pop-up. The Kyrii pop-up is by far the worst in the game, arguably, since only a sliver of the red X shows. You’ll have to sacrifice time by moving it left enough to show the whole X, or click a few times to try and get it without moving. In addition, the pop-up covers nearly half your “Go!” screen, so it’s hard ignore. Close any of these bigger ads right away unless you are close to finishing the level.

How do you know when you’re close to finishing the level? Just count the amount of “Go!” buttons you clicked. Each level is about 28-30 “Go!” buttons (or clicks) long, and counting them allows you to estimate whether you need to close a large pop-up or not. If you’re only about two clicks away from the end of the level and a Kyrii pop-up appears, don’t clear it unless you have to. If you remove the pop-up and the clicks appeared below where it would have been, you just wasted time. Ha-ha. Anyway, counting the clicks makes the level go by faster, even if you count out loud. Don’t worry; no one will think you’re strange. Unless they say that behind your back, in which case... they think you’re strange. Oh well.

So, let’s go over some more tips to help you revise your score. If you want to be considered a master of the game, shoot for 530+. Average scores range from about 300-400, so don’t get discouraged. First thing, try playing on different size screen modes. Arguably small is the best, because there’s a small amount of space between the go buttons; conversely others believe that large mode is more beneficial due to increased X button sizes. I myself play on large mode, since if you play on the super-large mode there’s NO chance you’ll click out of the game window (which would reduce points, if not make you lose). If you have an optical mouse like I do, consider yourself one with the tools to great things in the game. Roller-ball mice tend to be a bit slower, especially if they aren’t cleaned regularly. Now I’m not saying you can’t succeed without a roller-ball mouse or even a laptop pad, nor am I advertising those products; however, if you have an optical mouse, the game will be a bit easier.

Usually people get stuck on one level that troubles them; if this is the case for you, keep playing that one level. Sometimes luck may be involved, if pop-ups appear away from the “Go!” area or if very few Kyrii pop-ups appear. Other times “Go!” buttons may appear very close to one another, reducing click time.

Advert Attack is a fun and rewarding game; if you browse other websites that have pop-ups, this game might be your chance for the figurative revenge! Whether you're an Ace at Advert Attacking, or just a cadet to the game, you’ll rise up through the ranks and excel through perseverance. Happy racing!

Wooo, second article :D! Thanks to everyone who cheered me on when I played AA!

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