Still thwarting Sloth's mind control... Circulation: 146,497,694 Issue: 308 | 7th day of Gathering, Y9
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The Heist

by zrckr


“Welcome to the National Neopian,” the smiling blue Zafara behind the counter said. “Please state your name.”

      “They call me Castitas.”

      “And your species.”

      “I’m a Light Faerie.” Castitas thought that this was obvious.

      “And your address.”

      “I live in the Castle.”

      “I need an address, ma’am, or you can state that you are homeless.”

      The Castle in Faerieland had no real address. It was always obvious where to send mail and deliveries. “I guess I’m homeless, then.”

      “Now I need your occupation.”

      “I’m a thief.”


      Castitas unfolded her wings with a sharp snap and soon became as bright as the sun. Everyone in the bank was blinded except for five Neopets standing in the back, wearing sunglasses.

      They sprang into action. A grey Poogle ran to the vault behind the counter. A Scorchio, also grey, followed. The Scorchio began to blow white-hot flames at the vault hinges, while the Poogle worked at the lock. They always made sure to break in two ways: if one failed, they still got the Neopoints.

      Meanwhile, a grey Gelert was watching the door, although nobody could see while Castitas was lit up anyway.

      A JubJub and a Krawk, both also grey, were watching to make sure that the attendants behind the counter really couldn’t see and were not trying to stop the theft.

      The lock opened at the same time that the hinges failed, and the vault door fell forward. The Poogle and the Scorchio opened their backpacks and pulled out big canvas bags and handed one to the JubJub, who followed them into the vault. They gathered as many Neopoints as possible and signaled to the others that it was time to leave.

      Only Castitas remained behind. The others had left with the outside lookout, a grey Chomby, for the hideout. Castitas backed towards the exit and stopped glowing. She grinned at the stunned Neopets in the bank, turned out the door, and flew away.

      Castitas was always chased. Even now, just minutes after she had left the National Neopian, the Skeith manager was flying after her.

      Castitas was fast, though. She was never caught. She was waiting for him to get just close enough... There it was. She let out another blinding burst of light and sped away.

      The grey Neopets were already celebrating when Castitas entered the hideout.

      “Did anybody count it yet?” she asked.

      “No, Castitas,” answered Frenum, the Poogle.

      Castitas sighed. “Do I have to tell you guys to do everything? You should really count the money before you celebrate.”

      “Why is that?” asked the Krawk.

      “Because, Liberalitas,” she answered, “if you count it now, you won’t be busy counting when they come looking later. We should count at this hideout, wait for someone to start snooping around, then leave for another. We celebrate there, where it’s safe.”

      “But... we did a great job!” said the JubJub.

      “Patientia, guys, come on,” said the Gelert, Industria. “We all know that Castitas is right. Let’s get busy, before our ‘great job’ goes bad.”

      Castitas was relieved that someone agreed with her. She was always all work, no fun to them. But that was what it took to pull off a job. If it weren’t for her, these guys would still be pickpockets.

      “I’ll start with this bag,” offered Humanitas, the Chomby. “Why don’t you take that one, Humilitas?” He gestured towards the bag and looked at his brother, the Scorchio.

      “I guess...”

      Castitas and Humanitas were the only two left at the new hideout a week later. The rest of the pets had gone on their own to buy whatever they wanted.

      Every job ended like this. Castitas was left with whoever was on lookout duty before, as she had to do the talking and the lookout always stood outside the door looking suspicious.

      Castitas sighed. She never got to go shopping anymore. She never got to go out in public except for during jobs, which didn’t really count for her. Even so, she always got dressed for the event. She would send another thief to buy her a new gown for the next job, some makeup, and some shoes.

      Now, Humilitas was shopping for her and Humanitas. She hoped that he could find her a yellow dress that wasn’t ugly, but that was the chance she had to take when she had to pick between five men to do her shopping.

      She looked over at Humanitas, who was perfectly happy. “Don’t you ever get bored after lookout duty?” she asked.

      “No. I only have it once every six jobs, and we only do about one job every two months. That means I only have to wait about...”

      “Once a year,” Castitas interrupted. “That must be nice.” She began to stare off into space, imagining herself flying around in the open air, buying her own pretty dresses, getting clothes that fit, eating in restaurants...

      There was a knock on the hideout door. The knocker got the pattern right, so Humanitas got up and answered the door.

      Humilitas entered. “What’s up, brother? I got you that Usuki underwear you wanted!”

      “Well, thank you for saying that out loud,” Humanitas said.

      “Oh, Castitas! I got you your dress.” Humilitas unzipped a long black bag and revealed a billowing white gown. Seeing the disappointed look on her face, he tried to explain why it wasn’t yellow. “Well, the yellow one looked like a giant lemon, so I thought ‘light... white’ and I bought this one. Maybe we could do our next job at night and you could match the stars instead of the sun.”

      Castitas sighed. “It’s okay. We don’t have to schedule our jobs around dresses.”

      Castitas was in the washroom trying on her new dress. She looked like a bride or something. It made her wish she could pick out her own clothes for once.

      She found it hard to be a girl when she lived with a group of five men. They were so different from her. They had hardly any manners. They ate like Turmaculus. If they weren’t going anywhere, they wouldn’t even bother getting dressed in the morning or even bathing. They had all learned not to be modest around Castitas by now. She seemed to fade in to the background.

      She would have left if they didn’t need her so. They were hopeless without her.

      She also had nowhere to go. She was one of the most wanted criminals in Neopia. Most of the others weren’t even noticed during a job. Now, it was getting unsafe for her to even be there. She would be recognized next time, she was sure of it.

      Castitas was feeling unappreciated. The guys were getting lazier and lazier, and it only got worse between jobs. Even now, some of them were probably sitting there talking and burping in their underpants. She was sick of this all.

      If she wasn’t wanted, she would leave. Since she hardly ever even touched her share of the loot, she had millions saved up. She never had to work another job again. She made her decision.

      Castitas walked into the next room. It was getting dark outside, despite the fact that it was only 7:30 PM. It was almost dinnertime, but sure enough, some of the thieves were sitting around eating as if they hadn’t seen food in years. She walked to their safe, opened it, and took out all of the money.

      Nobody noticed her as she walked away. She left the hideout and flew towards Neopia Central. She landed outside the bank and was not recognized until she walked inside.

      “Welcome to th—Hey!” the not-smiling-anymore blue Zafara behind the counter said.

      “Wait!” Castitas began. “Before you do anything, I’m here to apologize.” She put her bag of money on the table. “This is more than all the money they took. I hope you will forgive me.”

      Without another word, Castitas turned and left, leaving the Zafara open-mouthed with awe. She opened the door and flew away. The Zafara ran to the door.

      As she flew higher and higher, Castitas felt freer than ever. She had never done anything so... right. She felt free from all of her burdens and all of her troubles. She lit up with a new, white light that she had never seen before.

      From where the Zafara was standing, Castitas looked just like a twinkling star.

The End

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