Caring for Those Crazy Pets (You Know You Have One)!
Do you get home from a hard day of playing games to find your precious neopet in your gallery of gourmet foods, munching on your precious, over-expensive delicacies like they're omelettes? Do you find them at the trading post with your life savings, buying that Groom Me NOW Usul they wanted, then throw it in the bin when they get home because it didn't come with enough colours of ribbon? Or are they not even there at all and you spend the rest of the week searching for them and it turns out they were eating your stamp collection under the bed? 1 out of 3 neopets have a screw loose, so nearly every family has one. Do they drive you nuts? This guide is for you. This guide will give you a few handy tips on how to control that crazy neopet of yours, or at least occupy them so they aren't flicking chewing gum in your hair and drawing on the backs of your cds all the time. You will thank me. If you don't, I suggest you give your neopet a big bag of neopoints and set them loose in the Bazaar. That always works for me. c: Now, moving on.
We'll start off with toys. Toys are great things. But only if you're careful with them. For Fyora's sake, don't go around giving your Grarrl your Faerie Queen Doll before they've eaten, or anything fatally illogical like that. In fact, don't give a Faerie Queen Doll to any crazy neopet. They will hang it from the lampshade and pelt custard at it, feed it to their petpet, and draw a moustache on its face with permanent pen. In fact, a crazy neopet will do this, or something like this, to any toy. Crazy neopets seem to like abusing their toys. They think it is funny (crazy neopets think everything is funny ^__^), so I suggest cheap toys. The Geraptiku Snowglobe is a fantastic toy. They are fun, pretty, and practically indestructible. Also, your pet may like to shake things as hard as they can to vent their anger (or maybe just because they want to see what happens if they shake stuff or maybe they just do it at random) so they will get a nice surprise when little snowflakes fall down. :) Plushies are great toys too, for roleplay and make-believe and the like. Your neopet may become so attached to the toy they will think it is a real neopet, call it Dave and play Gormball with it and stuff. Here's an example...
My Gelert has a Kougra plushie called Hobbes. He takes it to school and claims that he tells him the answers to his math sums. My Gelert is 13. Yeah. And Hobbes is his only plushie. I bought him a really nice Darigan Kougra plushie and he screamed when I gave it to him then ran upstairs and spent the rest of the day talking to Hobbes in his room. Be prepared for this kind of thing. It's quite funny. :D
Another thing that is very important when caring for a crazy neopet is their bedroom. This may sound trivial, but trust me, it isn't. Is your neopet one that likes to bounce off the walls? Do not buy a room made of ice or transparashield. Buy jelly or cloud. Does your neopet love the BattleDome and spends its free time charging into the walls with its swords and setting off bombs? Then don't buy tatami or sand. Instead, buy stone.
Furniture is important too. Your crazy neopet will be quite happy with a bed that looks like food or a bouncy lamp. Straw is a very bad idea, though. It will break when they jump on it, and trust me, they will jump on it. Robo-pets are great. They will be a loyal friend for your pet and provide hours of entertainment by staring at them or flicking things at the back of their heads to see if they fall over.
The most important thing ever, in my opinion, is what to feed your crazy pet. Some foods will make them go so hyper you won't be able to see them when they move when others may make them fall asleep on the spot and stay there for hours (you may want to buy a lot of that).
Sugar is never a good idea. It is unhealthy and it will make your crazy neopet go totally bonkers, even more so than they already are. Try the Health Food Shop! This may sound ridiculous, but healthy food is a great idea to calm a crazy pet down, and it's tasty and guilt-free!
But what about petpets, I hear you ask? Petpets are wonderful things but you must be careful when choosing one! Good companions for a pet who's completely bonkers is a petpet who's completely bonkers. You want your pet to have fun, don't you? Good ideas are:
If you can't afford a suitable petpet for your pet, why not just catch a chaosfish, stick it in a jar of water and let your neopet feed it pocket lint? Chaosfish are cute, and, when your pet's had enough fun and is going away to the bathroom to flush it down your disco toilet, why not fry it and eat it instead? :T YUM. Although I don't advise letting your crazy pet eat it. That just spells trouble. Oh, wait, that doesn't spell trouble, that spells I-T. Oh well. ;-)
So, I hope you've enjoyed this little guide. There are many crazy neopets out there and nearly every family has one - you may not even know it! So cut out this guide and stick it on your ceiling or the inside of the fridge or underneath a mossy rock or something so you can read it whenever you need a little help controlling that crazy pet of yours. And never forget, always love your neopet. Crazy neopets are blessings in disguise. You're very lucky to have one!