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Kreludor's Absence - Mistake or Master Plot?

by monkeylusoup


With the return of the Altador Cup, all of Neopia is divided once again into teams representing their favorite worlds to fight for the glory of the Cup. Old favorites such as Krawk Island, Darigan Citadel and Roo Island are back, the same powerhouses as before. A new team has even graced the tournament with its presence and fans are thrilled to have Shenkuu joining the fray. However, one previous participant has been noticeably absent from the competition; Kreludor. After much speculation as to the absence of this much loved team, it has been revealed that the team had been practicing in conditions that would prevent them from participating. Odd? This reporter thought so and decided to get a closer look at just what went wrong.

It would seem that, due to a so called ‘mechanical failure’ of the training center’s gravity mechanism, the Kreludor team had been practicing in conditions much different than those on Neopia. These differences supposedly prevented the team from blasting down to Altador for the games, as the team would be in danger. “Insufficient bone and muscle density” were cited as reasons preventing the team from entering the battleground of the Altador Cup games. Speculators wondered if angry fans from last year’s race for the Cup could have tampered with the device, but such a theory is not reasonable when one considers the tight security on Kreludor. No, the chances of sabotage by outside forces seems minute at best. But others brought forth another interesting question; could it have been an inside job? Kreludor, while valiant and deserving as ever, performed at a standard less than what had been expected of them. So, some cannot help but wonder; did a band of cruel Kreludor inhabitants, angry with their team, destroy Kreludor’s chances of competing again? But then again, if such individuals cared so highly for their team, wouldn’t they make the conditions in the center more demanding, so their team would be over prepared for this season? Sabotage just out of anger also seems a bit farfetched, especially when a strange black and red cloak was found nearby the damaged device. Sound fishy? No, fishy isn’t quite the word, but it sure sounds... Slothy.

That’s right, what this reporter has uncovered is a horrifying truth behind the absence of Kreludor from the year’s major sporting event. The evil Dr. Sloth actually commanded his minions to sabotage the training center as an excuse for the real reason behind Kreludor’s absence this year. The real reason you ask? Well, as you well know, a greater portion of the Kreludor’s Yooyuball team is made up of Grundos. And the loathed Dr. Sloth prefers that his minions be, you guessed it, Grundos. In actuality, the reason behind this team’s disappearance is that Dr. Sloth has forced the Grundo team members into the mines of their native Kreludor to mine for a certain substance which is nearly impenetrable, a new carbonite compound in rock form. What to do with a thousand tons of carbonite rock? The unthinkable; Dr. Sloth plans on having his minions assemble a giant robot in the shape of a Grundo and clothe it in a Kreludor Yooyuball jersey. Why? It gives me chills just to think about it... Are you sure you can handle what you’re about to read? You may want to keep young children and the elderly at bay, you don’t want them having nightmares about what I’m going to tell you next. Are you ready? Dig your nails into the palms of your hands to keep from screaming, I know it might be hard. Here goes....

Dr. Sloth’s newest terrifying plan is to assemble a robot and place it on Kreludor’s team for next year’s Cup. This robot would be utterly unstoppable and would lead Kreludor to the finals of the tournament only to unleash utter havoc. The robot (apparently dubbed Doc Ter Sloth by its inventor) would suddenly reveal a wide array of lasers which it would proceed to unleash on all the spectators and the opposing team. With the opposing team subdued, and all viewers terrified into submission, the robot would claim victory for Kreludor and none would stop it.

The golden Cup would be returned to Kreludor to be put on display (as is customary for the winning team), where Dr. Sloth would turn it into a hypnotizing object meant to draw attention to itself. Any and all who would look at the Cup would fall victim to its automatic hypnosis, thus allowing Sloth to control all of the loyal Altador Cup fans across the globe. Eventually he would turn the fans into armies which he would then use to take over the rest of Neopia to eventually rule on his own. Horrifying? I think so...

His plan was to then command all his hypnotized subjects to drink Grundo morphing potions and turn the entire world into masses of the Grundos he seems to adore. Er, did I say adore? I meant... prefer to other species. But yes, he plans to mutate them all into the creatures he calls his minions and slaves. After this, he shall use his vast army to search beyond Neopia for other lands with life. And if he finds any, he plans on sending his mutant armies in to take over the planets he finds and force feed them all Grundo morphing potions and force them to look upon the Altador Cup to be hypnotized. And so it would go until he conquered the world. (Not too original, is he? That’s been his plan for some time now and he hasn’t managed to succeed yet, thankfully) It is a horrible idea, one that, if allowed to proceed uninterrupted, could lead to the ultimate downfall of all of Neopia – not to mention a display of outrageous cheating in the beloved Altador Cup!

Don’t believe the technical issues excuse given out by Kreludor left defender, Derlyn Fonnet, on behalf of her team; she had already been hypnotized by Dr. Sloth prior to giving out that information. She is now aiding Dr. Sloth’s panel of advisors in the increase of advertisements used in a certain game known as “Advert Attack”. Derlyn Fonnet thus could not be reached for a comment and Dr. Sloth did not return a call left by yours truly for a comment.

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