Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 142,067,714 Issue: 297 | 22nd day of Relaxing, Y9
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You Could At Least Say Please!

by queen_starshine


To Whom It May Concern:

I fear I must register a complaint about the Altador Cup this year.

The Altador Cup is, of course, one of the most exciting events of the Neopian year. It brings together pets of all the worlds to play in that superb game, yooyuball. Now, I’m a fan of this game, too, but business comes first! With those hundreds of pets come hundreds of slushies to be served to their parched mouths.

As exciting as yooyuball is, is it really that hard for Neopets these days to say “please” and “thank you”? They drink my slushie – so quickly I fear they’ll get brain freeze – and rush back out to the stadium without even leaving a tip! I mean, really! I love making and serving slushies (that’s why I opened my business), but having to serve rude pets really makes my blood boil. Why do you think I’m a red Tuskaninny? Why, it’s from having to run around all the time! If they could just sit down and take a break instead of eat-and-run, I wouldn’t be nearly so peeved.

I doubt that those pets even taste what I’m giving them. They don’t even complain if I give them the wrong slushie! Not that I’m saying I like complaints, but it makes me feel like they’re not even paying attention to me. I work all morning before I open making those slushie flavors, but do I get a compliment or the slightest comment? Never!

I was talking to my relative, the red Tuskaninny that heads the Smoothie Store in the Neopian Bazaar, and we brainstormed several wonderful ideas for some new delectable flavors, but I fear that these would go terribly wasted on the discourteous Neopets that come storming in for the Altador Cup. And it’s really a shame, I assure you, because if the slushie business went over great in Altador, then even more Neopets would come for the Cup! However, I will not lift a finger to do one thing that may help if these Neopets will not think for one moment about manners.

I bet if I let those pets take their slushies out to the stadium, my slushie stand would be entirely empty. You’d just see a blur of color as a pet came in, grabbed a slushie, and rushed back out. But I decide to be nice to the poor fellows that clean up the stadium after the day’s games, and nice to the pets as well, and pick up after their mess, which they will inevitably leave in my own shop.

I’m not asking for much here, I swear. I love the Altador Cup. I go out and watch the games whenever I get the chance, rooting, of course, for my beloved homeland of Altador. All I’m looking for are a few manners. Even if it’s just shouted in my face instead of politely spoken, that’s fine with me. But I swear, if I don’t hear a “please” or “thank you” in the next few days, I’m just going to burst!

Of course, I am glad that I’m getting customers at all. When the Altador Cup isn’t going on, I only just get enough business to go by. But with the Altador Cup, I get more business than I do the entire year put together! I was so worried that the Altador Cup might not continue after the first year, so imagine my glee when I learned it would!

And the Cup is good for advertising, too. I didn’t get nearly as much business the first year as I have this year, so perhaps my delicious slushies have gained the fame they so deserve. Why, business runs so crazy that I’ve actually had to hire temporary assistants to help me with my slushie distribution! But the pets I hire are extremely mannerly, of course. Manners come first, after all!

But may I point out that the pets I served last year were much more well-mannered than the throngs I am getting this year. They didn’t mind at all stopping in for a chat, updating me on the teams that I missed out on while I was serving, or just talking about how nice the weather had been lately, before going on their way. Serving the Neopets last year was quite the privilege, but this year it has been far different.

I bet if you just put another Neopet – maybe that insane blue Techo that screams in between slurps of my slushies – in my place, then they’d realize just how terribly depressing it is to work one’s butt off serving and not even get a nod of acknowledgement.

Also, I must inform you about the expenses of purchasing those custom Altador Cup II cups. While I have told customers that they may buy these wonderful cups for a slightly more expensive price, I have not had one sale in them! The Neopets are so quick to get back to their games that they just throw the cups right back at me! Why, my throwing and catching arm has gotten so good lately that it would be absurd if I were not put on Altador’s yooyuball team for next year’s Cup!

However, let us continue with the manners. I’m thinking of putting up a sign in my window that reads, “No please, no thank you, no service”. In bright red paint, too, to match the bright red of myself. Perhaps then those unruly pets would think twice before entering my store!

Once the Cup is over and everything is cleaned up, undoubtedly my slushie stand will go back to its limping business until the Cup next year. But if next year’s Cup is anything like this year’s Cup, I fear that you may have to stay good-bye to slushies! Unless this problem is taken care, you may be rest assured that my slushie bar will have no part in the Altador Cup next year. As good for business as it may well be, I will close shop for the entire Cup and not serve a single person!

I do hope that you will please take my thoughts into consideration, and I thank you very much for listening.


The Red Tuskaninny, Slushie Slinger

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