Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 141,450,161 Issue: 296 | 15th day of Relaxing, Y9
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So You Want an Electric Pet?


by jshark105

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Passing down the aisles of the Neopian Pound, you see something. A flash of blue? A second later, it’s gone. Intrigued, you peer closer. Bending toward the cage, you see... you see...

“WHOO HOO HOO!! GOT YOUR NOSE!!!” A fuzzy blue blur reaches out and grabs you violently by the conker.

So this is your first introduction to the Electric Pet. Now you can’t stop thinking about them and want one for your very own. You might be thinking about buying an Electric Blue Paint Brush or trying to get a lucky zap from the lab. Or using a morphing potion or Magical Plushie. Possibly even adopting one. Anything to own one of your very own little balls of lighting incarnate.

Well, you might want to think very hard about that decision. I am Jess, here with my very own bundle of... erm... joy, Jessie2251, the Electric Aisha. After all the, uh, fun I’ve had in the past few weeks with Jessie, I have decided educate you a little more about the hyperactive, irrepressible, and slightly insane Electric pet.

Not that I’m saying having an Electric pet is a bad thing. They can be quite... exciting... at times. But there are a few things you should consider before getting one. Your sanity, for example.

Jessie: I LOVE YOU JESSS!! hkhfjkhsdkfjkls

Me: Give back the keyboard, Jessie!!!

Jessie: fhhtlureyt reszghs... I LOVE SUGAR!! fdgljkre7tw MUAHHAHAHHAH!!!

Me: Jessie! You are so dead after I pick this lock!

Jessie: FWEEE!! HAHAHHA!! CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!!!

Me: Okay, I’m back. Jessie left to go and practice her electric guitar. Hold on a sec...

“Jessie!! Turn down that amp now before I pull the plug!!”

“Never!”

“I mean it, Jessie!”

“Make me!”

*crashing sounds* “No, Jess! NOOOOOOO!!”

“Turn it DOWN!”

“Fine!”

Okay, I think I’m good now. Where was I... oh yes. Your sanity. Be prepared to lose it if you get an electric pet. Now, I’m not saying that all electric pets are the same, or that they all like the exact same thing and behave in the exact same way. I’m sure there are a few calm, intelligent electric pets out there. I haven’t met one exactly, but miracles can happen.

Even if your pet isn’t very all-over or hyperactive, consider this. If you were painted, let's say, gray, you would live your whole life looking in the mirror and seeing grey. Your friends might not want to hang out with you anymore because you look so glum; people would make assumptions about you, etc. Because you lost your friends, you would feel even more gray. Even if you were a perfectly happy Neopian before, now you are miserable all the time. The same thing happens when you paint your pet Electric. Except in reverse. WAY in reverse.

From talking with other pet owners, and myself, of course (see that’s what I’m saying about the sanity thing) I have gotten a general idea about what electric pets are like.

Personality: Most electric pets seem to have an addiction to sugar and music. Not a good combination. Music is good, but when Jessie gets her hands on her Limited Edition Electric Guitar, oh boy, I know I’m in for some sleepless nights. Electric pets crave attention, which will make it hard if you want any other pets. I suggest getting them into a drama club or band if you want to remain sane. The thing with the sugar is pretty obvious.

Appearance: Well, of course, electric pets are mostly a dark blue with a number of electric blue lighting bolts scattered around their bodies. Electric pets have very dense, short fur. This may cause some trouble with a build up of static electricity, so be careful.

Jessie: AHH HAH HAH HAH!!!!! *zap*

Me: Youch!

*rubs arm* The intelligent electric pet will eventually learn how to use static electricity as a weapon. Be warned.

Petpet?: If you want to get your electric pet a petpet, consider it carefully. Electric pets are prone to procrastination and forgetfulness, not to mention rocking out all hours of the night. If your poor little puppyblew doesn’t get fed for a week because your pet forgot, well, you might want to consider either a hardier petpet or one that can feed itself (like a spyder, for example).

Special Needs: Your electric pet requires large open spaces for running around in a circle and playing their chosen instrument. If you have a large Neohome, consider giving about a quarter of the entire home for your pet to run free. Also, since electric pets burn up calories faster than you can say ‘meepit’, you will have to supply them with an almost constant food supply. Sugary foods are also a must. Make sure you have a constant food supply for them or the over-dramatic electric pet will beg and whine and act starved to try to get you to buy them their favorite chocolatey treat. Suggested foods include Chocolate Neggs, NeoCola, and Fruity Chia Pops.

Is an Electric pet for you?

If you don’t mind loud music (and may also sing along with it), are not a huge fan of the Neopian Philharmonic (just think of your pet trying to copy some of their songs on a Bass Guitar *shudder*), and can afford season tickets to the Twisted Roses or other band, you're halfway to getting your very own little shocker. You also need to consider your other pets. Are they game to get a new brother or sister that will probably keep them up 7 out of 7 nights of the week? Will they feel jealous if you are constantly needing to pick up your electric pet early from school for causing a disturbance? If they don’t mind, and might possibly see it as an adventure, then I say GO FOR IT!!

Your Electric Pet - Oh, the fun you’ll have: Your new pet will be your best friend (or, if you’re a sleep-loving person who treasures your sanity, they could be your worst nightmare). They are extremely loyal and outgoing. If you're feeling down, rest assured that Lil’ Lightning will cheer you up. You will definitely be able to go to concerts together, adventure together, and so much more. Not to mention the suger-rushes you’ll get together; everyone know that hyperness is a dish best served with two.

So, in conclusion, although your electric pet may need a little more care, they are well worth it. Even if you may hate them sometimes, even if you feel the need to strangle them on a daily basis, even if you begin to go bald from pulling clumps of your hair out, even if...

Jessie: JESS! We get it already!

Er, it will become a friendship that will change your entire outlook on life. And of, course, will make you appreciate a quiet, well-rested life.

Jessie: Hey!

Me: Uh, got to go!!

Note: If you have a painted pet you would like me to research and write an article on, drop me a neomail and I’ll look into it. And...

I’M IN THE NT! shfhjtjhetgngbja!!!!!!

 
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