Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 142,557,853 Issue: 289 | 27th day of Eating, Y9
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Uh... Oops?

by broadwaybaby986


“Hello? Is anybody here?” I heard someone say.

      Oh! Momma was home! I hurried to the foyer.

      “Look what I found at the auction house today!”

      Oh no. Not another worthless piece of junk for our Neohome. Here lately, all Momma seems to do is spend time at the auction house, scouting out random knick knacks for our house. Yesterday she’d lugged home a hideous, moldy rocking chair- and placed it in my room. How nice.

      “Jefsy, take a look at this!” Momma said, holding up a giant Eyrie sculpture that looked as if it was made out of crystal. “Isn’t it marvelous?”

      “Yeah... I guess... but where are we going to put it?”

      “I have just the place.” Momma struggled to pick the sculpture back up. Once she had it in her arms again, she placed it on a table by the doorway. “What a nice way to greet our guests!”

      “I suppose,” I lied. In my opinion, the sculpture was rather gaudy, but I didn’t have the heart to tell Momma this.

      “Jefsy, where is everyone?” Momma asked. “I promised to take the girls shopping once I got back from the auction house.”

      “Oh, I think they’re in the playroom.”

      “Do you want to come shopping, too?”

      I shook my head. Shopping was one of my least favorite activities. I’d much rather be outside playing Gormball than wasting my time in the mall. “No, I’ll pass.”

      “Alright. You can stay here with the boys. Just don’t get too rowdy. Stay right there, I’m going to get everyone.” And with that, Momma left the room.

      Minutes later, Momma re-entered the room, followed by my three sisters, Ava the purple Xweetok, Lealonde the baby Uni, and Evini the blue Bori. “We’ll be back in a little while, sweetie,” Momma assured me. She glanced at the Eyrie sculpture. “But be careful around that sculpture. I bought it for two million Neopoints, and I will not be happy if it gets broken.”

      Two million Neopoints? Who in Neopia would spend two million Neopoints on a garish piece of crystal? I, a Christmas Gelert and the lab rat of my family, just didn’t understand Momma sometimes.


      I was in my room, my nose buried in a book, when I heard the door creak open. My younger brother Little, a skunk Yurble, walked into the room. “Hey, Jefsy, I’m bored,” he whined. “Wanna play with me?”

      “Yeah, like I’d want to play with you,” I scoffed. “Go find Lewenn and do something with him.”

      Little let out a sigh. He was about to leave the room when he spotted my Neonip critter sitting on my desk. My Neonip critter is really special to me. I’ve had it since I was a baby. Little smirked and grabbed it.

      “Oh, Jefsy, look what I got!” he cried, waving the toy back and forth.

      “Hey, give that back!”

      “I’ll give it back if you play with me!”

      “Seriously, can’t I just finish my book in peace?”

      Little shook his head and darted out of the room with me following in his wake. “Oh, you... you’d better give it back!”

      Little ignored me and hurried into the foyer. “Catch me if you can!” he cried, stopping in front of Momma’s crystal sculpture. I darted right at him, but before I got close enough to grab the toy out of his paw, I tripped on my tail. Yes, my tail. I’m rather clumsy. I went barreling right into Little, who fell on top of the table with the sculpture on it. To my horror, the sculpture went flying and landed on the brick floor with a loud crash. “Oh, no...” I muttered, staring at the shattered sculpture.

      Little grinned innocently. “Oops?”

      “Little, look what you did! The thing’s in a million pieces now and it’s all your fault!”

      “My fault?! You’re the one who rammed me into it! Plus, it’s just a dumb sculpture... it could be worse...”

      I glared at Little. “No, it couldn’t! That sculpture’s worth two million Neopoints, smarty!”

      “Are... are you serious?”

      “Dead serious.”

      Little looked as though he had been punched in the stomach. “We’re in big trouble, aren’t we?”

      “Yes, we are!”

      “We’ve got to figure out a way to put this thing back together before Momma gets home!” Little cried.

      “The thing’s broken beyond repair! It’s hopeless.”

      “But... what if we used Momma’s super sticky glue?”

      “No way. The last time you used that stuff you glued yourself to a chair.”

      Little sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to accept our punishment for BREAKING A TWO MILLION NEOPOINT SCULPTURE!!”

      “Fine, fine! We’ll try to glue it back together! Just stop screaming in my ear...”


     “This isn’t working...” I muttered, staring down at the sticky mess that used to be Momma’s sculpture.

     “What do you mean? It looks fine!” Little snapped, twirling the bottle of glue in his paws. “It’s all in one piece again.”

      I watched as the head of the newly glued sculpture slowly slid off its body and onto the floor. “It was in one piece. I think you used a little too much glue...”

      “Well, that’s nothing more glue can’t fix!” Little reached out to apply more glue, but I grabbed his hand before he got the chance to squeeze any out.

      “Little, this isn’t the solution! We’re going to have to do something else!”

      “Fine, fine... how about we just buy a new sculpture?”

      “You’re kidding, right? The thing costs two million Neopoints! We don’t have near enough!”

      “So... what are we going to do?” Little asked, stroking his chin. “Aha! I got it! We blame it all on Lewenn!”

      “Little, Lewenn is the most honest guy in Neopia! If we tell Momma that, Lewenn will disagree and blame it on us, and since he never lies, Momma will figure out what really happened!” Lewenn (my younger brother) was a speckled Bori, and, lucky for me and Little, was in his room doing something. If he found out about all of this, he’d definitely tell Momma about it.

      “Well, you’ve got a point there.”

      “Hey, shush for a sec, will ya?” I whispered. “I hear footsteps coming towards the house.”


      Little and I both froze. Someone was knocking on the door. “Hello? I’m home!” Momma!

      “Hide the pieces!” I ordered. But it was too late. Momma had already entered the room.

      “What in Neopia is going on here?!” she asked, staring down at the shattered remains of her statue.

      I glanced over at Little.

      “Uh... well... I have a perfectly good explanation!”

      I sighed. We were in trouble now.

      “You see, this huge Cyodrake swooped into the house through an open window and grabbed your statue! Since I knew that the statue was so valuable and you’d be really sad without it, I grabbed the Cyodrake and it dropped the sculpture and it broke! I tried to glue it back together but it didn’t work. So, because I was really angry, I fed the Cyodrake to the ghost Meepit livin’ under my bed.” Momma often says Little has a big imagination (he really does think there’s a ghost Meepit under his bed), and I definitely agree, especially if Little thinks Momma will actually believe that story. I knew we were in deep, deep water.

      Momma put her hands on her hips. “Little, what really happened?”

      “Jefsy and I broke it. Please don’t kill us and feed our bodies to mutant Kadoaties! I know it was worth a lot, but I didn’t mean to! I tried to put it back together but it just didn’t work!”

      Momma put on a confused face, but after a few seconds she burst out laughing. “Oh, did Jefsy tell you about the two million Neopoint thing? Well, do you want to know the truth?”

      The truth? Huh? What in Neopia was she talking about? “What do you mean ‘the truth’?”

      “Jefsy, the thing wasn’t worth two million Neopoints! It was only worth 4,000!” Momma laughed.

      “Huh?” I felt my eye twitch. “What do you MEAN?!”

      “Sweetie, I only told you it was worth that much so you’d be careful not to knock it over! But obviously that didn’t work...”

      “You’re kidding me...”


     After that little incident, I swore that I’d never, and I mean NEVER, fall for one of Momma’s tricks again. Breaking that statue supposedly worth two million Neopoints was the scariest thing that ever happened to me, and it wasn’t going to happen again.

      I was in my room when I heard Momma enter, carrying some brownish heart thing. “Look at this, Jefsy! I found this at the auction house. It’s a heart sculpture made out of toast! No eating it, okay? The thing’s worth-”

      I sighed. “Let me guess. Two million Neopoints, eh?”

      “No... three!”

      And do you know what? I actually fell for it... and I ate it anyway.

The End

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