Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 131,950,016 Issue: 271 | 22nd day of Celebrating, Y8
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Holiday Troubles?

by j_b_9


Oh no, it's Christmas! It's probably the most hectic time of the Neopian year for those owners who have particularly bossy and demanding Neopets. The Neopian malls are packed to overflow with crazed shoppers, all trying to get in on the latest Christmas sale, and the streets are jammed with crazy drivers who are all trying to get past the mob of crazy shoppers. How on earth are you meant to buy those perfect presents for your Neopets that they have been hinting for so long that they want? They don't care that it may cost millions of Neopoints, or that you're being trampled by the crazy shoppers on the way to the supermarket, do they? They then pressure you to get the best looking Neohome for the latest Christmas party that they haven't told you about until two days before Christmas, by which time you were actually feeling relaxed for a second.

So then, off you go back to the supermarket, wearing pillows as protection this time, against the loonies who are all fighting each other to get to the half price sales. So you spend the rest of the day buying all of the decorations, music, and food, which your bossy Neopets have all specified exactly that they want. Then you'll probably get back home and put your feet up, when they tell you that one of the baubles is the wrong shade of blue, in which case, you get up, and go back, yet again, to the supermarket.

It never ends, does it? Just how, HOW, are you supposed to be organised and stress free at this holiday? But of course, you can't really call it a holiday, can you? Because the pressure, anxiety and stress are just too unmanageable!

The stress is about to end. I've put together the guide to a perfect, simple Christmas, away from crazy shoppers, who have incidentally become crazier as it's getting closer to Christmas. This year will be different, and this guide will show you how to have a wonderful family holiday that you will never, and I mean never, forget for the rest of your lives. Let's start, shall we?

Obviously, the first question is: Where to go? This is probably the easiest question to answer, even though it's the biggest, and will affect the other questions more.

Well, obviously Terror Mountain is going to be a prime choice for you, as it would make a very nice white Christmas, where your pets can play in the snow, and you can sleep in a lovely, cosy, little villa in Happy Valley.

Nope, I recommend Mystery Island. Admit it, just think how busy Terror Mountain would be at this time of year; forget crazy shoppers, think crazy tourists! But imagine it, a tropical Christmas on a perfect little beach; and the island is almost empty at this time of year, so peace and quiet can reign. Just pack your bags; don't take much, and take a boat ride to the Mystery Island harbour, where you can relax on the beach, and watch the stress run away. However...

How on earth are you meant to decorate on Mystery Island? I mean, what you picked out for the party in Happy Valley will not fit in here now, will it? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you'll have to go back to the crazy shoppers now, won't you?

How about, instead of the usual array of boring decorations, this year we mix traditional Christmas time (candles and holly) with tropical (coconuts and palm trees). I'm thinking hammocks hanging from palm trees for those in your family who want nothing more than to relax, although you'd like to, wouldn't you, after all of that stress; but no, you've still got work to do. You could have strands of sparkling tinsel, beautifully ringing bells, and a whole range of colourful ribbons, all wrapped around a cosy little hut on the beach; and maybe even a sprig of mistletoe or two. You'd just have to get the whole range of the coconut furniture set as well, and then arrange them and add your own little touches as you see fit. Music is definitely a must, so choose a real tropical speaker, make sure you have a dance floor, get in some party and disco lights, and play those Christmas tunes!

This should all satisfy your demanding little Neopet's needs, except of course...

Presents! Oh no! Not the hideous, dreadful, terrible, outrageous, don't-speak-of-it word!!!!

Wait, wait, I don't want you to panic now! We've been doing so well, and have come so far; I mean, we're on the last part of the guide, so don't give up and leave as soon as you hear the dreaded word presents! It means stress, and never ending pressure from your supposedly cute, and lovable, never demanding anything, Neopets, doesn't it? So try this. Just keep it all nice and simple this year; maybe you could give each of your Neopets a much-wanted souvenir from the Tiki Tack, even though it's quite a cheap shop, or maybe even simpler, just give them some Neopoints out of the depths of your wallet! But before you do that, ask your Neopets if this year aren't family, friends, and a beautiful Christmas holiday present enough? Obviously, they'll say no, in which case, you whip out the wallet, and beg them to accept this small present/offering that signifies your want for them to be happy. Or if they DO say yes, then they're obviously planning some kind of hideous scheme, so watch out for whoopee cushions and itching powder, won't you?

Anyway, so now you see how beautifully perfect and relaxing a Christmas can be. Just you, the family, friends, some simple presents, tropical decorations, and of course, the beautiful settings of Mystery Island. Relax in your wonderful Christmas hideaway, and of course, remember to thank me when all of the stress has disappeared by the time that you've come home. So relax, have fun, and have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

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