Into the Sea: Part Five
Doctor Velt sat in her tiny wooden chair as she always
did, staring ahead at Sasha and Katrina, who were sitting next to each other
on the small couch. Sasha was hugging a dark blue pillow, rocking herself forward
and backward, blankly looking at the ground. Katrina grabbed her bandaged finger,
It was so cold.
"So..." Velt began, rubbing the blue frame of
her thin rectangular glasses. The white Kyrii raised her eyebrows, waiting for
Katrina or Sasha to speak. "Will you tell me what happened? Sasha?"
Sasha glanced up at Doctor Velt with tired eyes.
"Amelia... my only friend... she hates me," she stated precisely. Katrina sighed
loudly, rubbing her forehead as if it hurt.
Velt's face fell. "What happened? Tell me everything."
"Well..." Sasha's voice was so soft it sounded
like she was sick, too weak to speak. "She said I was weird because of all of
my yellow Flotsam plushies. She said that I wasn't good at anything, not even
swimming. She said I don't have any friends because I'm strange. She said she
had let me win the race against her because she felt sorry for me. She said
I was worthless. And that nobody would miss me if I were gone."
Nobody said anything for a few moments. The
only sound that could be heard was the tick-tock of the clock by the door. Velt's
eyes were sad, but Katrina's were hard and angry. The girl clenched her fists
tighter and tighter every second.
"Then what happened?" Velt asked.
"Then... I... attacked her. I was so mad! I
don't know why I did it!" Sasha cried, hugging the soft pillow closer to her.
Her lips trembled, and she wrinkled her eyebrows worriedly, wondering what Velt
or Katrina would say to her.
Velt turned to Katrina. "What did you do about
Katrina flinched, looking up from the ground
to meet eyes with Velt. "I..." She looked over at Sasha, who was still rocking
herself back and forth like a scared child. The girl just couldn't bring herself
to speak. There was a large lump growing in her throat. She wouldn't be able
to talk even if she tried. She would certainly start to cry if she spoke. The
tears filling her eyes would stream down once again, as they did every time
she came into this cold room.
But she would not let them fall this time.
"Amelia just ran away after that," Sasha explained
"...AMELIA IS NOT REAL!" Katrina exploded,
holding her face in her hands. Her salty tears tumbled from her eyes, drenching
her cheeks and palms. "She's… not real."
Velt looked at Katrina confusedly, though she
did not speak. Sasha appeared furious.
Katrina quickly calmed herself down, and then
looked over at Sasha. "You've been doing all of this to yourself all along.
Amelia is not real. She's just a figment of your imagination!" The girl stood
up, yelling into Sasha's face. "You were the one who brought this all
Sasha's face blanched in terror as she looked
up at her owner. She couldn't speak. She felt like a flea, a flea being screamed
at, about to be stepped on.
"YOU told yourself to steal my
money! YOU told yourself that you were useless! You made believe
that you aren't wanted! It's all your FAULT! YOU CAUSED ALL OF
Velt's eyes widened. So, Sasha did have
an imaginary friend. She was imagining Amelia all along. She needed a friend,
and so she made Amelia up. But the yellow Flotsam seemed all too real to Sasha...
Maybe Sasha had forgotten that Amelia was imaginary?
"Amelia IS real!" Sasha protested, scowling
at Katrina. "SHE IS REAL!"
"NO, she ISN'T!" shrieked Katrina. "SHE IS NOT!
You made her up! She is imaginary!"
Sasha broke down, sobbing uncontrollably into
the blue pillow.
My owner. My friend. My friend?
Is she my friend? Or is she just a maternal figure, there to look after me?
Does she really love me? Is she proud of me? Or just disappointed? I can never
tell. It always seems to be sort of a mix of the two. All I want is to make
her proud, proud that I am her pet. But every time I build up that pride, I
ruin it all. She hates me now, I'm sure of it. She hates me. I did something
bad, but I couldn't help it. I was just confused. And now my owner hates me.
She would never let me do anything I wanted to do in the first place. Now I
can just lose all hope of ever swimming in the ocean.
There's no way she can trust
My Doctor. She doesn't really
say much to me. She just comforts me and gives me support. Is it fake support?
Or does she really genuinely care about me? But... it's just her job, isn't
it? She's paid to do this! She is paid to be my Doctor!
There is no way she can care
about me now.
My best friend. My only friend.
But not anymore. She betrayed me. She is not a friend. I loathe her. I will
never speak to her again. I will never play with those stupid yellow plushies
again for as long as I live
Is she real? Or is Katrina right?
Is she just part of my imagination?
A thing created by myself to be a friend to me?
...There is no way I can forgive
Sasha sat on her bed, staring out of the window.
It was nighttime. Dark outside. The stars could not be seen in the sky. The
window was open slightly, and the soft cold breeze was slithering in, dancing
around her. Katrina had gone out for a couple of hours. She didn't say where
she was going, just that she'd be back just in time to tuck Sasha in bed.
I want to disappear...
I want to go away...
I don't want to cause pain to anybody anymore.
I'm letting her down.
She... hates me.
There is a place...
A place much better than here.
Is it a place where I can be accepted?
Where I won't cause problems?
Is it a place where I belong?
Katrina strolled through the Mystery Island
Trading Post, looking at all of the lots. She wanted to buy something for Sasha.
She wanted to get her a present, to show that she was sorry for yelling at her
earlier that day. She wanted to show Sasha that she loved her. That nothing
could ever make her stop loving her.
Sasha... I forgive you.
Lanterns were hanging from the stands made of
bamboo where different items were being displayed. Katrina kept walking through
the crowds of people, trying to find something perfect for Sasha. She hugged
her coat close to herself, trying to get warm. It was a cold night on the beach.
The sound of the waves crashing down could be heard over all of the bustling
and talking of all of the different people.
There was one certain lot that caught Katrina's
eye. She had almost passed it, but stopped in her tracks and backed up a bit.
She looked at the item being displayed, and she smiled. It was perfect, and
she had just enough Neopoints to buy it. The owner of the item was bending over
behind the display, appearing to be picking something up, and Katrina couldn't
see them. She grabbed a large sack of money from her coat pocket, setting it
down on the counter.
"This enough?" Katrina questioned.
The owner of the item stood up, looking at Katrina's
offer. The white Kyrii smiled, nodding her head. She grabbed the sack of Neopoints,
and handed the item to Katrina.
When Katrina got home, she noticed that the
lights inside were off, so she opened the door quietly. Sasha must have already
gone to bed. The girl made her way down the halls to her pet's room, holding
the present she had gotten for her behind her back. She opened Sasha's room,
whose lights were also turned off.
"Sasha," she hissed, smiling widely.
"Sasha! Wake up!"
Katrina didn't get an answer, so she switched
on the lights. Sasha's yellow Flotsam plushies were all out on the floor, some
with their stuffing coming out in some places. Sasha's bed was completely empty,
and the window was wide open, the orange curtains waving slightly in the wind.
Instantly, Katrina knew what had happened.
The girl's jaw fell, and she dropped the Striped
Paint Brush she had been holding to the ground.
Katrina ran over to the window, looking out
of it. She didn't see anything, only the old wooden splintered fence a few feet
Katrina fell to the floor, painfully grabbing
her stomach. Tears streamed from her eyes as she screamed.
She should have known this would happen. She
should have known this would happen all along. Sasha... she must have gone to
the sea. She must have gone to the one place she always wanted to be.
Katrina had failed Sasha. She had been too hard
on her. She was always yelling at her, getting angry, making Sasha feel like
she wasn't wanted. Maybe if Katrina were a good responsible owner, Sasha wouldn't
have run away.
"Your friend MADE you STEAL from me?! Your
FRIEND?! What kind of friend is THAT?!"
"Katrina?! Why do you always get mad at me?
What did I do?!"
This is all my fault.
Maybe if Katrina had just let Sasha swim in
the ocean, let her have the one thing she wanted most, the one
thing she would do anything for... Sasha would still be there, in her arms.
Katrina could be telling her how much she loved her. How much she had always
loved her. And how much she will always still love her.
"Let her swim in the ocean? No, I'd never let her do that. I mean, what if something
happened to her?"
"I was BORN to swim in that ocean, Katrina."
"...It's too dangerous, Sasha."
"You don't understand! NOBODY understands!"
Sasha had gone into the sea.
And she'd never be back.
Katrina hated herself. Her selfishness had made
Sasha run away.
"Stupid Sasha. Stupid STUPID, stupid, STUPID!"
"You always get YOUR way! What about ME?!
Why don't you care about ANYTHING I want?! It isn't fair! I... HATE YOU!"
"...No matter how much you yell, scream,
hit me, and tell me that you hate me... you can NEVER make me stop loving you."
But why? Why did Sasha run away? Was it because
of Katrina? Because Katrina treated her wrong? Because Katrina always seemed
angry with her? Or was it because of Amelia? Because of herself? Because nobody
accepted her? Because she didn't fit in, didn't do well around people?
"I wish I could disappear. Everyone would
be happier if I weren't around. They wouldn't have to pick on anyone. They could
just live their lives normally."
Katrina grasped one of the yellow Flotsam plushies
that was lying on the ground near her as she heaved in deep breaths, trying
to calm herself down.
"Well Sasha," she said contemptuously, her voice
cracking as she tried not to cry. "You got your wish."
Maybe it was for the best.
The sea is where Sasha's heart had always been...
And it's where she should have been all along.