Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 135,120,768 Issue: 263 | 27th day of Collecting, Y8
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Halloween Hassles

by king_kino


The trees rustled in the wind and a dead leaf fell off. It landed in Gouder's orange bag. The brown Lupe picked it up and threw it behind his shoulder.

      "Are you ready yet?" he asked his eager friend, a purple Cybunny. He nodded.

      It was that time of year again. Halloween, the day when young Neopets went off into the night to cause mischief and collect candy. This was no excuse for Gouder and his friend Orper. They loved to cause mischief every chance they could.

      They walked up stone steps leading to a dark house. There were cobwebs over the boarded up windows. The duo was not afraid of this, or perhaps they did not notice. Gouder shifted the orange treat bag into his other paw and knocked on the door.

      The door slowly creaked open. "Ah!" a voice called from inside the house. "Now what do we have here?"

      "Trick or treat!" called Gouder and Orper eagerly.

      Something moved into the moonlight. It was an elderly Blue Eyrie dressed in a Doctor Sloth Halloween costume. "Good evening," he said, "and Happy Halloween! I believe that you'd like a treat?" The two nodded.

      The Eyrie shuffled around behind the door. "I seem to have misplaced the candy. Oh, here it is!" He came back out, carrying a bucket, which seemed heavy for him. "You each get an Orange Gummy Kiko." Gouder and Orper enthusiastically took the gummies from him.

      As the twosome walked down the stone steps, the Eyrie sighed. "Wish more children came to my house on Halloween. Seems like they are the only two who came here. Is it because my house is too plain? Should I make my house scarier?"

      "Nice load!" exclaimed Orper as he grabbed a lolly out of his trick or treat bag.

      "We're not done yet, though," said Gouder thickly through a mouthful of Chocolate Chip Cybunny Cookie.

      "Wha?" Orper tripped over the cape of his Count Von Roo costume. "What do you mean that we're not done yet? Look out there. We've nearly robbed all the houses of candy."

      "Nearly," corrected Gouder, tossing a Lime Jelly Usul to Orper and catching the packet of Chocolate Neodrops that Orper had flung at him.

      "I blame you," muttered Orper. "Nearly? We could have gotten candy from all the houses if you did not knock over Mrs. Rudwer's precious Fyora Motif Vase. What about Mr. Konder's King Hagan Stained Glass Window? You 'accidentally' threw that Furry Fury Grarrl Gobstopper at it."

      "I didn't mean to throw it at the window," confessed Gouder. "My hands were slippery from the Mustard Mayhem Grarrl Gobstopper I threw at Floot."

      "I remember... it got him on the head, didn't it? Stuck on his fur until he threw it back at you," said Orper, straightening out his cape.

      "He had it coming to him! He was laughing at my Lord Kass costume. Who doesn't like villains?" Gouder had just taken a large mouthful of Strawberry Aisha Cookie and this remark made him spray Orper with pink crumbs.

      "Apparently, Floot," replied Orper, wiping the crumbs off his face with a paw. "He's just jealous of your costume. Seen his? His snotty Meuka costume is nothing compared to yours."

      "Yeah, maybe that was why Mrs. Proder didn't give Floot any candy. She was scared of getting snot all over her clean house!" chuckled Gouder.

      "For the record... I still blame you," said Orper as they walked up to a house decorated with spooky decorations and knocked on the door.

      "Eh?" squeaked a voice as the door opened slowly. "What are you two whippersnappers doin' here at this time of night?"

      It was a tired looking Green Lenny dressed in pajamas. He looked astonished when he saw the Halloween costumes Gouder and Orper were wearing. He pointed at the two of them.

      "It's... it's Lord Kass and Count Von Roo! They're here to get me!" shrieked the Lenny. "Tryin' to get me to join your army, eh? Count Von Roo joining the forces of Kass to attack Meridell again? Well, for your information, I will be supporting Meridell all the way! Aha! What did you do with my house, eh? Can you answer that? Tryin' to make it all spooky like? There isn't any day where you like to make things all like that, you evil villains!"

      The Lenny shrieked once more and slammed the door. Gouder glared at Orper. "Don't blame me!" the Cybunny said. "How was I supposed to know that the store sold only villain costumes?"

      As the two walked down the street, they noticed there were fewer and fewer Neopets with every step they took. As they passed two Skeiths each carrying a bulging bag of sweets, they heard them whispering.

      "Remember that old hysterical Lenny's house? Did you know that it was I who put the decorations on his house? He must have been so spooked out. Too bad I couldn't see the expression on his face!" said one invisible Skeith with a white sheet on him with two eyeholes and one hole for his mouth.

      Gouder and Orper walked past the two mischievous Skeiths and noticed that they were on their own on sidewalk. A gentle wind blew and the black and blue leaves on the thin and crippled trees rustled.

      Gouder stopped. "Orper? Have you noticed that the trees here are... blue?" the Lupe asked his friend, who was busily chomping on a chocolate bar.


      "Look, Orper," replied Gouder. "Look at the trees."

      "I've noticed them," said Orper, "they're trees."

      "Hey genius, look at the colour of the trees!"

      Orper gasped and went up to one. He touched the bark and quickly withdrew his paw from it. "It doesn't feel like the bark of a real tree," he muttered to Gouder. "It feels so... awkward."

      Gouder dropped a candy wrapper on the soil. He picked it up hastily. When he touched the soil, he jumped backwards.

      "Blue soil," he said to himself. Then Gouder turned to Orper. "I think we're in the Haunted Woods!"

      "Oh good," said a voice. "They have finally figured it out! They're not as dim-witted as I thought they would be."

      "Yes," hissed another voice. "I thought they would never figure it out."

      "Who's there?" said Orper loudly.

      "The Cybunny's talking to us," the first voice bellowed. "You dare talk to the most feared villains in Neopia, Cybunny?"

      "Feared villains?" repeated Orper faintly. "You two aren't villains!"

      "No?" questioned the second voice softly. "Tell me Cybunny, do you know who Lord Kass and Count Von Roo are?"

      "No! You can't be them!"

      They stepped out from behind the tree that Orper had touched.

      "Happy Halloween," hissed Count Von Roo.

      "Look at them!" snarled Lord Kass. "Imposters! Pretending they're us!"

      "You two can't be Count Von Roo and Lord Kass!" said Gouder bravely. He walked up to Count Von Roo and tugged on his cape. It ripped and Count Von Roo clutched the piece.

      "Hey! Did you know, Lupe, that my cape is NOT REPLACEABLE! It's a special villain cape, does that make you understand it?" hissed Count Von Roo, pushing Gouder onto the blue soil.

      "Prove it then!" yelled Gouder. "Prove to me that you're really Lord Kass and Count Von Roo, cowards!"

      "DON'T CALL ME COWARD!" yelled Lord Kass, brandishing a long rusty blade from his back. "Not so powerful now, are you Lupe?" he said quietly.

      Orper ran to Lord Kass and looked up into his dark face. "So... Lord Kass. Tell me why you are here in the Haunted Woods, if it is the Haunted Woods. I thought you wanted to bring Meridell down. Why waste your time here?"

      "Very wise, Cybunny," murmured Count Von Roo. "You wish to know why we are here in the Haunted Woods when we could be in Meridell, attacking their poor little peasants. Very well. I shall tell you why.

      "You see, Cybunny, Kass and I were daring to do something... dangerous. We were outcasts, though. Thwarted by Meridell, Kass came to me. He discovered that Neopia thwarted me also. We devised a plan together. Revenge."

      "'Course, it was getting boring, planning," interrupted Lord Kass, fingering the tip of his blade. "I forced him to come with me to the Haunted Woods. I knew that on Halloween night, there would be a few Neopets foolish enough to walk right into us. And you two should feel very proud. You'll be remembered as the two who let Lord Kass and Count Von Roo into power!"

      "And now," said Count Von Roo, pushing Lord Kass away. "You will learn our plan."

      "Eh?" said Lord Kass foolishly. "We're telling... them?"

      "Of course we are," replied Count Von Roo. "They won't remember it, after all. You... did remember to bring the potion, right?"

      "Ah yes, the potion," said Lord Kass, frowning. "I wondered why we brought that."

      "And that's because you aren't as intelligent as I am," replied Count Von Roo coldly. "Now... Cybunny and Lupe. We will tell you our plan. But then my lovely assistant will give you a wonderful potion that will taste like... like... like candy! Yes, like candy."

      "Candy!" said Gouder, licking his paw. "Candy..."

      "Yes, now, be quiet, Lupe," growled Lord Kass, fingering the tip of his blade again.

      "Stop touching your blade," scolded Count Von Roo. "Do you want me to take it away?"

      "Not Mister Bladey!" sobbed Lord Kass, hastily putting the blade away. "Now..." he started, wiping away a tear with his purple paw. "You two. I heard about your mischief from one of your neighbours... tell me, did you happen to visit a crazed Lenny's house today?"

      "What did you do to him?" stammered Orper sternly.

      "You saw him, eh? Well, we did it to him. We can do the same to you too."

      Orper bravely stood up to Lord Kass and pulled his head down. There was a horrified looking Blue Eyrie in the costume. Orper went to the trembling Count Von Roo and did the same to him. An appalled looking Orange Tuskaninny was in that costume.

      "Tell me..." said Gouder quietly. "What were you two doing in there?"

      "Please," cried the Eyrie. "Please don't hurt us! We just wanted to have some fun on Halloween."

      "Go on then," said Orper harshly, "go on before I decide to give you two a punishment for that!"

      The two Neopets stumbled on their costumes and they both threw it behind as they ran out of the Haunted Woods. They left a mysterious burlap sack behind and Orper picked it up. He gasped and poked Gouder.

      "Gouder... look! A sack full of candy!"

      Gouder cautiously took a hard candy and unwrapped it. He popped it in his mouth and smiled. "They must've forgotten this," he said, taking another hard candy and pocketing it.

      Gouder turned and turned in his bed. Moonlight was streaming in from his window and Gouder was having trouble falling asleep. A Werelupe howled in the distance. Gouder sighed and stood up to pull down his curtains.

      There was a flash of black and purple outside his window. Gouder pushed his face to the window and saw a black cape flowing in the wind and purple wings. The real Lord Kass and Count Von Roo rose that night, frightening all trick-or-treaters.

The End

Happy Halloween!

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