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Chapter Three - Eyeball Recipes


by mistoffelees_cat

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Edna walked over to a large, dusty bookshelf of bones in a cobwebbed corner of her magnificent tower. With one green hand she flicked away the cobwebs and shooed the resting Spyders, which sent them scattering. Edna took one of her gnarled green fingers and began fingering across the many rows of books, searching. "Ah hah!" Edna exclaimed in a low cackle. "I remember making you..." She pulled out of the bookshelf a dusty, old book which held the name Complete Cooking Recipes of Edna. "I call upon you again," she mumbled to the thick book, "for I again have a craving, but this time it is for something far different..." Edna once again ran her finger down the Table of Contents. "Here we are," she said with a wicked grin plastered upon her face. "Chapter Three - Eyeball Recipes." She grinned as she opened to the chapter, reading thoroughly five recipes which would fill her eyeball craving...

Chilled Eyeball Custard:

The ingredients needed for this scrumptious type of custard are 1 Slimesicle, 1 Thornberry Java with Cream, 1 Jar of Eyeballs and 1 Custard. The materials you are going to need consist of a straw, Quiggle Scissors, black construction paper, glue, a tall glass, a small bowl, a spoon, some sort of stirring utensil and a Zomutt.

Now, on with the recipe. First, you must take the Slimesicle all the way to the Lost Desert and leave it in the small bowl in the center of the desert. Now go to Qasala or Sakhmet for an hour and hang out. Come back after an hour and the Slimesicle should now be purified slime, for the hot desert sun should have melted it. Now return to your lair or tower or wherever you cook.

Pour the purified slime into the tall glass. Also pour into the tall glass all of the Custard. The bowl the Custard came in you can keep for future recipes. Now take the Thornberry Java with Cream and take the cream off the top and put the cream into the tall glass as well. The nice red cup and saucer that the Thornberry Java with Cream came in you can keep for yourself. As for the leftover java, you can feed that to your personal garbage disposal - your Zomutt.

Now that the mixture has been put together, you must now take your stirring utensil and stir the mixture. Now, since we witches are *cough* masters at stirring, I think you'd better have a short lesson: Firmly grasp the stirring utensil in both hands with a firm grasp and move your arms, not wrists, in a circular motion that should have grace yet intensity. That is how you should properly stir your mixture so that it has a decorative yet artistic swirl of white and green flowing throughout it.

Now that the mixture is through being stirred, it's time to add the details. Take three eyeballs from your Jar of Eyeballs and plop them gently into the mixture. They should sink perfectly. Now, stick a spoon into your almost-ready custard. Now for the most final touch: Cut a small paper bat with your scissors out of the black construction paper and carefully glue it near the top of a straw. Carefully stick the straw into your lovely custard. Your Chilled Eyeball Custard is now perfect and ready to devour!

Jellied Eyeballs:

The ingredients you need for this wonderful jelly dish consist simply of 1 Jar of Eyeballs and Assorted Strawberry Jelly Items (ex. Strawberry Jelly JubJub, Strawberry Jelly Usul, Strawberry Jelly Flotsam etc.) Now the materials you need are a bowl and a Stone Club.

Let's begin. This is one of the most simple of recipes. Mash the Assorted Strawberry Jelly Items with the Stone Club repeatedly until no sign of the original forms of the jellies can be distinguished. Put the mashed jelly into the bowl. Now simply plunk in four of the eyeballs from the Jar of Eyeballs. They jelly should keep them bobbing on the surface decoratively. Wasn't that easy; now you're done! Jellied Eyeballs do not come with a spoon so we recommend that you stick your face in the bowl and eat like a Zomutt would.

Eyeball Sushi:

The ingredients you will need for this exotic dish are 1 Seaweed Bow, 1 Jar of Eyeballs, 1 Lice Rice and 1 Strawberry and Cream Fishpop. The materials you require are Silver Butter Knife, a Dried Bamboo Mat and a Stone Club.

Let us start the recipe. Untie the Seaweed Bow so that it is just a long strip of seaweed. Lay the strip of seaweed down on the Dried Bamboo Mat, which may be a little big for our needs, but we can carry on just fine with its large size.

Take your Lice Rice. Do not pick out the lice; leave them in, for they taste absolutely delicious. Dump the Lice Rice out onto your countertop or whatever counter space you're using. A plus to this recipe is that you now have a nice blue bowl to keep for yourself, but let's carry on. Scoop up the Lice Rice and spread it across the long strip of seaweed, so that you now have two layers to your sushi - an outer layer of seaweed and an inner layer of Lice Rice.

Now take your Stone Club and your Strawberry and Cream Fish Pop. Mash the Strawberry and Cream Fishpop (WARNING: This could get messy), after removing the stick from it with your Stone Club. Mash the Strawberry and Cream Fishpop until no part of the original Fishpop is distinguishable and all you see is a thick, pinkish paste. It may smell a little acrid, I may warn you. Take the Silver Butter Knife and scoop up some of the paste you have just created and spread the paste on the rice, making the third layer to your sushi. Keep scooping and spreading until the top of the Lice Rice is completely covered.

Now you must take your Jar of Eyeballs and place eyeballs all along the paste-covered rice, making a fourth layer. Place the eyeballs so they rest about a half an inch apart. Now for the final-most part - roll up the Dried Bamboo Mat so that the sushi is getting squished into a circular roll inside it. Compress the Dried Bamboo Mat, therefore compressing the sushi. Unroll the Dried Bamboo Mat. You should see a neat, long roll of sushi. Take the Silver Butter Knife and cut the sushi into sections about an inch in thickness. You should now have around six pieces of the most delicious Eyeball Sushi! Enjoy!

Jhudora Eyeball Pasta:

The ingredients you are going to have to gather consist of 1 Jar of Eyeballs, 1 Cybunny Carrot Pasta (available pre-made at Neopia Central), 1 Purple Petpet Paint Brush and 1 Green Petpet Paint Brush as well as Two Bottles of Water. The materials you require are three bowls.

Start out by carefully removing the carrots from the Cybunny Carrot Pasta so that all you have is rather bland pasta. Separate the bland pasta into two groups. Now take the Purple Petpet Paint Brush and one of your Two Bottles of Water and pour the water into one of the bowls. Dip the Purple Petpet Paint Brush into the bowl until all the color as drained from the end of the Paint Brush, which you can then dispose of. You should now have some purple-colored water. Put one of the two bunches of pasta into the water and let soak for one hour.

While waiting for one hour to pass, repeat with the other Bottle of Water, Green Petpet Paint Brush, another bowl and the second group of pasta. Let this sit for an hour as well.

After both bunches of pasta have soaked for an hour, you may remove them both from the colored water and put them in the third bowl. The pasta should now take on either a green or purple coloration, which is quite appropriate for Jhudora. For the most final touch, take ten eyeballs out of your Jar of Eyeballs and place them randomly throughout the pasta. Now make like a Zomutt and gobble up that ready-to-eat Jhudora Eyeball Pasta!

Eyeball Slurpy:

For this recipe you are going to need 1 Slimesicle, 1 Cup-O-Slime, 1 Bottle of Water and 1 Jar of Eyeballs. The materials you will need consist of a small bowl, a stirring utensil (a small one, for example, a swizzle stick), a glass and a straw.

Make yet another trip to the insanely hot Lost Desert and place your Slimesicle in the small bowl on the hot sand and go lounge around in Sakhmet or Qasala as you did for the Chilled Eyeball Custard. When you come back, you should have a bowl of purified slime. The point of not using a Cup-O-Slime is that a melted Slimesicle has a slightly different flavour, a little more tang.

So take the purified slime back to your lair or tower or kitchen or wherever you do your cooking. Pour the purified slime from the small bowl into the glass and also pour in the slime from the Cup-O-Slime and the Bottle of Water to lighten the mixture. Take the stirring utensil and carefully stir it, not like explained before, but with more wrist motions; you know, sort of whisk it a little bit. You should stop your whisking when you can no longer determine the slight color difference in the two slimes and the water has made the mixture of a transparent green.

The final touches are always the finest parts, and in this recipe, you must take an eyeball from the Jar of Eyeballs and drop it with care into the light and fluid mixture. Also put into the drink a small slender straw, making the beverage look delicate and refined. However, one is not to eat it as delicately as it looks. Slurp away!

Edna once again slammed the ancient book closed, sending dust motes flying around the tower room. She looked down at the pitiful Zomutt at her feet that had been there when she had first written the old book, and was still with her. "Come," she said to him, "we have ingredients to collect." She walked towards the door to her tower and looked down at the Petpet again. "Then again, don't we always?"

Author's Note: This article was written by popular demand as a sequel to the original 'Chapter Four - Slime Recipes' that was featured in issue 227 of the Neopian Times. I'm always writing more stories and articles, so definitely expect more from me. Feel free to drop me a Neomail as I reply to all of them.

 
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