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Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Kadoaties


by thisillusionoflove

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Hello there, my sweet little cupcakes - this is Agent K, here to ask you, "Have you had your bowl of Wheat Flakes today?" No, just kidding; I'm actually here to unfold an interview that I had with a certain petpet over a cup of Borovan just yesterday! Have you ever wondered what goes on in a Kadoatie's mind? Are they really plotting against all of the other petpets to be the cutest in all of Neopia? Do they seriously need to be fed every thirty minutes or so? Oh, and the most important question of them all... are they really in cahoots with Jhudora, the darkest faerie of them all, to take over Neopia and claim it as their own? If you've ever asked any or all of these questions, you've found the right article! Your questions about those greedy Kadoaties from the Kadoatery answered by the cutest and best-groomed Kadoatie of all (or so she says), Kadoatinator!

Agent K: Ok you cute little kadootie-pootie, first question. What do Kadoaties do with all of that food they're being fed?

Kadoatinator: Uh... first thing's first. Please don't call me that. My name is Kadoatinator, but you can call me K. Anyways... as for the silly question you asked... What do we do with our food? We eat some of it, of course. The rest we store in our tails for later.

Agent K: What? Store it in your tails, you say?

Kadoatinator: You heard me. Yes, we store it in our tails. *rolls eyes*

Agent K: What the... *raises eyebrow* So you're like... an Apis?

Kadoatinator: Well, that was kind of insulting, now wasn't it? Next question, please.

Agent K: Oh, sorry. I noticed that you like to eat Neocrackers. I like Neocrackers. Mmmm. Do you like Neocrackers?

Kadoatinator: Well, I'm a Kadoatie, so what do you think? Wait, are you going to give me some Neocrackers?

Agent K: Well, I was going to eat them myself...

Kadoatinator: Then you shouldn't have asked the question, huh?!

Agent K: But I was just wondering...

Kadoatinator: *pout*

Agent K: Oh, fine, here you go. *hands Neocrackers over*

Kadoatinator: Mew! ^_^

Agent K: Anyways, how do you get your fur coat so nice and shiny?

Kadoatinator: Well, most of the time we use top-of-the-line Superstar Shampoo on the fur, of course. Then we add a bit of expensive Conditioner. But no water... us Kadoaties dislike water greatly. Nope, no water for us! Lastly, we comb our fur with shiny jeweled combs and hair brushes. Don't forget, comb before brushing to prevent split hairs!

Agent K: Of course, split hairs are the worst things ever, just utterly unattractive. So, what do Kadoaties do when they're not eating or... grooming themselves?

Kadoatinator: Why, we do lots of things other than eating and fluffing our fur. Such as lounging on the beach in Mystery Island, staring off into space, getting groomed at the Uni Beauty Shop, napping... Yup, lots of things!

Agent K: That doesn't seem like a lot of-

Kadoatinator: Next question, Agent.

Agent K: Okay then... *cough* Do you really need to be fed every thirty minutes?

Kadoatinator: No, not all the time. Sometimes it's every thirty-five minutes. Whenever we feel like we need to fill our tails, we just cry and food comes to us from out of nowhere.

Agent K: That's strange.

Kadoatinator: Yeah, it is. Oh well.

Agent K: Here's something I've always wondered... how do Kadoaties stay so fit if they're being fed so often?

Kadoatinator: Well, there's numerous ways that Kadoaties stay fit. We greatly dislike the water, though, so you'll never find us taking a swim!

Agent K: Yeah, you already mentioned that. And... *ahem* Sorry, that didn't really answer my question.

Kadoatinator: OK, fine. Well... we like to chase Miamice, for one.

Agent K: Fascinating. What else?

Kadoatinator: In a galaxy far, far, away (or somewhere really close to Kreludor), we like to fly around in space and bat our cute little paws at the yarn floating around us. It's really cute of us, huh?

Agent K: Well, actually, I was thinking it was just a bit strange. *raises eyebrow* Um, so do Kadoaties like Kau Kau Farm Milk?

Kadoatinator: Why, do you have some? I'd love to sip it with my Neocrackers. But, yes, we do like Kau Kau Farm Milk.

Agent K: How do you feel about Kau Kau Farm Half And Half?

Kadoatinator: I don't like it, myself. But I know that Poptart prefers it.

Agent K: Wait... how do you know all of these random facts about Kadoaties?

Kadoatinator: Because I AM one. Look at me, gosh!

Agent K: Oh, yes. That's right.

Kadoatinator: *rolls eyes*

Agent K: Anyways, do Kadoaties like landfish? Or fish pops?

Kadoatinator: Yes, both of them. And scrawnyfish, eyefish, waterfish - wait, no, not waterfish. We greatly dislike the water. Mmmhm.

Agent K: Yeah, that's right. Wait, so how do wash yourself - do you lick your fur?

Kadoatinator: Ewww, gross! Why would you propose such an atrocity? I already explained it in a prior question! No way, we just go to the Uni Beauty Shop and she fixes us up straight away with Shampoo and Conditioner!

Agent K: Oh yes, of course. That's right. I'm confused, but it's okay. Next question. Imagine a Kadoatie isn't fed for, say, two days. Does it eat what is "stored" in its tail?

Kadoatinator: Yes, genius, that's the whole point of the tail... duh.

Agent K: No need to get snappy! I was just clearing it up for those that didn't get it the first time. *ahem* Next question, though. What do Kadoaties do in their spare time?

Kadoatinator: We just nap most of the time. Other times, we sharpen our claws.

Agent K: Why would Kadoaties need to sharpen their claws? They don't really use them for anything.

Kadoatinator: Are you kidding me? How else would we bat at yarn?

Agent K: You can do that without sharp claws, right?

Kadoatinator: No way. We need our sharpened claws to bat at yarn and... other things, like semi-cute petpets that are trying to outrun us as the cutest things in Neopia. Everyone knows that.

Agent K: Uh, okay. So you are in cahoots with Jhudora, and are you trying to take over Neopia for that reason?

Kadoatinator: Wha... what? Where do you get your information?

Agent K: A cute little Miamouse told me the other day.

Kadoatinator: A-HA! I knew they were leaking our great pla - I mean, no... I don't know what you're talking about. It was nice chatting with you, but I really do need to go now. I have a fur appointment at three NST.

Agent K: Uhm, okay... well, thank you very much for taking time out to get some of this cleared up.

Kadoatinator: No problem, any time. Tell Squeekers I said mew.

Agent K: Will do. *shakes paw*

Welp, that's it, folks. I hope you learned a lot of erm... facts and such about Kadoaties and had fun in the process. Or, if you're like me, you're just confused about several things and... *lowers voice* you're also thinking that Kadoaties are spoiled and get whatever they want, while secretly plotting with Jhudora. *Ahem* Until next time, this is Agent K, saying good-bye... and reminding you to think twice about feeding the Kadoaties! (Wouldn't want 'em to take over Neopia, would ya?)

 
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