What Happened to the Grarrls, Eh?
Hello, I am Argentinios the soon-to-be-painted Maraquan Grarrl,
I have come to write this article because I am "concerned" about my species.
I mean, have you seen the pound boards lately? Most of them are Grarrls! For
There are many boards with something like "Darigan Grarrl needs a home, no
Only to find out they called him "it", (yes the owner) and they were only pounding
him just so they could get another pet, when he was the ONLY pet! No apps, no
neomail, no rules no nothing! Just,
"i willz powd it if I find some1 gud! Mayb on p4 or p5 I dunno"
Oh! The pain! These people should be ashamed of themselves. Sorry if I sound
rude, or unfair, but is it not the truth?
Let's face it; Grarrls have been going downhill ever since they were made.
Ok, so we're not as cute as our fellow Lupes, (which have suddenly been on the
increase, might I add) or even as cuddly as the Kougras.
HOWEVER, we are a great species and deserve to be treated with love and care
like the rest of them. Don't get me wrong, I think Lupes are... "adaptable"
shall we say. Kougras are very... um... "colourful". Yes.
So, why us? I have been gathering evidence and this is my conclusion:
Look at a Grarrl at first glance and what do you see? A great, big dinosaur
with scary teeth. Am I right? We are always the ugly Neopet, the big scary Neopet,
the one that will always eat those... tasty... delicious... neop- er... erm... skip
the last part.
But personally, I love the look! It makes us... unique. Strong. Er... Grarrlish.
I mean who wouldn't want a pet that could eat ANYTHING?
There have been stories, poems, comics, even pictures of Grarrls being mean
or evil to helpless Neopians. Bah. I am a writer! Not a bully, for Sloth's sake.
What I'm getting at is that we have basically been the "villains" of Neopia.
Neopets would scream and run away at the first mention of a Grarrl!
So in hope of writing this, I shall lead Grarrls into glory! Muhah, MUHAHAH!
Ahem, getting myself a bit carried away. Next topic then, shall we?
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Help me get my fellow Grarrls the love and attention they deserve.
"How can I help?!!" I hear you ask! Just follow these simple steps:
1) NAME HIM/HER WELL
I swear, if I see another Grarrl whose name is something like: BiGupdinoMaN,
OMG_THE_BIGKILLERZ or zer_Giant_1z I am going to scream. Please, please, PLEASE!
If you are going to create a Grarrl name him/her something good. It doesn't
have to be fantastic, just something original at least. Phew, got that off my
2) POUND THEM WELL
If you are really desperate and going to pound your Grarrl, (which I certainly
hope not) then the least you can do is pound him/her well fed and without illness.
Can you guess where I was found? Yep. In the pound. I was starving, cold and
had a bad case of the Sneezles. Sigh...
3) ADOPT SOME
If you don't want to create one, simply adopt one! Obviously... There are
some really good stat Grarrls in there. Some even painted. You might be lucky...
4) DO SOMETHING
Ok, so you got your Grarrl; now what? The answer is... DO SOMETHING WITH HIM/HER!
I have seen many accounts where all their pets have been either: roleplayed,
drawn by Neopet artists, drawn by their owners, have got amazing pet pages,
won contests, have really good stats or even all six. Except of course... the
Grarrl. Nothing. Zero. Nought. Not even a tiny picture or 2 levels. It didn't
even say: "pet page coming soon!" I mean, if your Grarrl might be new to your
family... (Like me) then I might let you off, but even then it doesn't take
even three minutes to write: "Petpage coming soon!" now does it? I mean, look
what my owner is doing now! Letting me write this very article that you are
reading right now.
5) PAINT JOB
Show me that you care! Paint him/her up nice! Do a little roleplay with him/her!
(I'm getting very little response from my owner's roleplay Grarrl board.) Maybe
even come chat with me?
Do we not make great training pets? I mean, doesn't it look weird that a Grarrl
got beaten by a Kacheek!?!? Nonsense! That's what I say, that Grarrl was obviously
going easy, or even... the match was a lie! Yes! That could be it... the Grarrl
obviously won, but the Kacheek bribed them to put him as the winner! Oh! The
7) GIRLS NEEDED
Ok, have you noticed that there seems to be an endless supply of BOY Grarrls?
I have never seen a female Grarrl in my life! Of course I wish to meet both
boy and girl Grarrls, but preferably females. I have never met one, so it might
be interesting. I mean the only females I have met so far are my owner, Triss,
and Martha, my Cybunny friend who lives with me. So yeah, females definitely.
8) Ok, I am sort of running out of ideas now... guess it's time for me to stop
ranting and onto the conclusion...
Fight for better named Grarrls! Fight for the roleplaying Grarrls! And last
but not least, fight for me!!!
-cough- Argh... it's going to be a very long time before I do that again. Although
you should know what you have to do now. I'll just recap again, though, just
Name the Grarrls well, roleplay them, draw pictures of them, train them, more
girl Grarrls, and whatever else I missed.
It's time I stopped writing now, my claws are getting tired, how on earth can
you write with these fiddly things that you call, "pencils"? -rant rant- -moan
Ahem, well, that's it. Finish. End. Fin. Blah. Go home!
Argentinios the ranting soon-to-be-painted-Maraquan Grarrl
P.S. This will not be the last time you will hear from me... Oh yes, there
will be many more rants to come. Enjoy.