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Slow and Steady Wins the Flash Games

by kleptie


GAMES ROOM - Do you have a painfully slow computer or connection? Have you all but given up on playing the Neopets flash games because they lag too much? Do not despair! I was once in your predicament, but I have learned to use my old and laggy computer to my advantage. Here is how you can do the same.

The first and most important thing to do is not to give up. You never know what you can achieve if you don’t even try it. When my impossibly fast laptop let out its last breath, I was down in the dumps. For over a week I didn’t play any neopets flash games and even stopped going to neopets for a while. I am not a very good restocker, nor do I ever have any luck with the stock market. For me, these games have always been my sole source of NP. In fact, they still are. Not being able to play them was a real blow to my bank account.

After I got over my depression at having lost the speed of my laptop (not to mention every other thing on it), I decided to try my hand at the games again, however slowly they may run. After a while, it became apparent that not only could I play some of the games, but that I was also getting better scores and having an easier time with them.

So snap out of it! You, too, can become an expert lag-player! There are lots of games that become easier on a slow computer. Here are a few tips and game names to get you started.

Have you tried playing 200 Meter Dash? When I had a faster computer, the best score I could get on that game was anywhere from 500 to the occasional 800. Playing it with a laggy computer had made it incredibly easy. The puppyblew runs slowly, giving me plenty of time to see the logs coming my way. My score has spiked to 1010.

And then, of course, there are the Meerca Chase games, Meerca Chase and Meerca Chase II. I’ll be frank with you – I used to stink at these games. Actually, I believe I still stink but now I can get much higher scores. The longer the Meerca’s tail gets, the slower the games run on my computer. This gives me plenty of time to think and to get away from those pesky red neggs. I was finally able to get the Meerca Chase avatar, something I would not have been able to do without some aid from the lag.

The same thing applies to Faerie Cloud Racers and Freaky Factory. I am someone who does not have a very fast reaction rate. The lag makes the cloud racers and blobs of paint drag by on my screen so slowly that I can take my time in thinking through what I have to do, and then – gasp! – actually do it. Also, I now have plenty of time to bop that pesky Grundo thief on the head when he comes for my plushies in Freaky Factory.

And have you tried Extreme Potato Counter? Go on then, try it! If you stare somewhere near the middle of the screen and watch the edges of the window for incoming potatoes, you’ll do great. I have never seen slower flying potatoes. Well, except this one time… Er. Nevermind that.

Sophie’s Stew runs horribly slowly on my computer, and the first day it came out, I almost got a trophy for it because of that. I tried playing it on low quality, and I didn’t get anywhere near the score I do on high, at maximum lag. In fact, I am doing better on most of these games than I ever had in the past thanks to the games being slower. It’s as if my computer took pity on me and my slow reaction rate, and said hey, I’ll help you! Let’s take it slow until you get it. (Of course I don’t talk to my computer. But it doesn’t seem to take the hint).

Another game where us slowpokes have the upper hands is Igloo Garage Sale. While the game runs slower, the timer still counts off at the same speed. Since the level ends when the timer runs out, the levels suddenly became much shorter, giving me more of a chance to get the “all caught” bonuses. And by the way, my most common cause of death in that game made me wonder – just WHY does Carassa drop a piano on poor Mika’s head? They seem to have too many of those things up in their attic. Anyway.

Other action games that become easier as your computer becomes slower are Dubloon Disaster, Mootix Drop, and Whack-a-Kass. And these are only the action games! Some puzzle games that become more manageable are Destruct-O-Match II (the extreme version), Gadsgadsgame and Maths Nightmare. This is by no means a complete list, since there are others that I have simply not tried playing yet.

All right, of course having a slow computer has its disadvantages. Timed games such as Usuki Frenzy and Kiko Match II become too difficult to play. Some games run so slowly that they get annoying after a while and take too much time. I sometimes have to alternate between playing 200 Meter Dash and Sophie’s Stew because they one or the other starts to get on my nerves after a while. However, at least now slow people such as me have a better chance at getting on the high score tables – or maybe even winning a trophy! – at some games.

So the next time I’m on the boards, I don’t want to hear (or see) people complaining that they can’t play neopets games because their connections or computers are too slow. Keep in mind, we have the upper hand, people!

And now if you don’t mind, I believe I’ll go check if Whack-a-Staff-Member is easier on this computer than it was on my laptop. Revenge avatar, here I come…!

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