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Your Guide to the Clubs in Altador

by christina333333


ALTADOR - You may have noticed a bulletin board in the Altadorian Archives. There are many different papers tacked to that old wall, most of them pointless, but you may have also noticed the numerous clubs that are looking for new members. With so many possibilities (Okay, there are only five, six if you count... never mind, I’ll get into that a little later) it seems an impossible task to make a stable decision. What is a poor Neopian to do? Well, never fear, because I’m here to help. I am willing to guide you through the complex process of choosing a club. Yes, yes, I know, without me you’d be amiss, and you’d love to send me a million neomails telling me how great I am, but we don’t have time for that now. We must hurry and get you into a club; the fate of Neopia depends on it! (Well, not really.)

First of all, I should mention that if you have a strange phobia of Quiggles, then clubs aren’t meant for you. You will understand why in a little bit, but for now, I need to get on with what I’m here to do.

The Engineering Club – The very first club that I am going to mention is the Engineering club. Upon looking at the poster advertising the group, you are approached by a blue Quiggle with a rather grumpy demeanor. He sports a rather yellow tinted toga, which is very last year. But to make up for his mishaps, he also has two rather dashing curly hairs that could sweep any girl off her feet. Why am I pointing all of this out to you? Because most of the time, you can define a club by its leader. But for those of you who disagree, I guess I’ll mention the information about the actual club. As their advertisement line goes:

"Join the Engineering Club! Learn to build wondrous mechanical devices, labor-saving tools, sprocketwork toys, and even make your very own flying machine! Now accepting new members."

Sprocketwork is such an odd word... anywho, you’ll be able to make... things, and... other – things if you join this club. Er, let’s get on to the next club, shall we?

The Mining Club – Say hello to that blue Quiggle again. Here he is again with his outdated toga. You might have noticed that he got rid of his two curly hairs, put on a hard hat, and grew a luscious mustache. His attitude hasn’t changed one bit, though. Now I better explain the actual club so that I can satisfy some of you picky readers out there:

"Join the Mining Club! We'll provide you with your very own pick and shovel, and teach you how to identify valuable ores and gems, and extract them from the ground! Now accepting new members."

I don’t know why anyone would be interested in rocks, but then again, I don’t know why anyone would want to work with ‘Sprocketworks.’ I suppose you could expect a lot of hard work, and hopefully your eyes will adjust easily to the lack of sunlight. Oh yes, that reminds me, I spoke with the club leader, and he has stated that he can not be blamed for the members that begin to see ‘angry slorgs with mining picks or any other form of loss of sanity.’ Not that there’s anything BAD about slorgs... *looks around nervously* So, join at your own risk.

The Alchemy Club – Surprise, surprise. It’s that blue Quiggle again! I’m still confused as to how he shaved his mustache, grew a beard, and put on that strange hat faster than we could inspect the next posting, but I guess we’ll never really know. You know the drill, so here comes the information.

"Join the Alchemy Club! Learn to transform simple plants and chemicals into powerful essences and spells, and create your very own magical items! Now accepting new members."

From my knowledge, this is extremely dangerous. Be careful with the chemicals, because crazy things can happen with the help of potions. Your poor neopet might summon Jhudora, or turn into a pile of soot. They might even grow another arm! (Which might be useful for certain neopets -- *cough* JubJubs *cough*) And now we go onto the next club.

The Herbalism Club – This time, the super fast blue Quiggle manages to grow a flower, put on a bandana, and weave a straw hat. How pleasant. It’s too bad the color of his hat clashes with his eye color. And even with his pretty little flower, he still manages to be grouchy. The advertisement that is placed this time, seems strangely familiar to the other ones. The only thing different seems to be the content.

"Join the Herbalism Club! Learn about Altador's many species of plants and how they can be used to create potions, used in cooking, or used to decorate your Neohome! Now accepting new members."

This one requires extraordinary patience. I mean, they’re plants! They take forever to grow, and once they are at their peak, they like to die. So, if you’re one of those people who like playing the ‘trial-and-error’ game, this club is perfect for you. I tried it out, and it drove me nuts! I almost cried when I finally grew my own flower, and the next day it turned black and wilted! You better be extremely tolerant if you wish be in this club.

The Dance Club – Now THIS is the type of group I’d be interested in joining! Too bad that archivist guy found out about it and shut it down. What a no-fun spoilsport! Such a shame. I didn’t get to find out much about this before it was shut down, but I do remember what their advertisement saying was!

"Join the Dance Club! Learn to glide across the dance floor and impress all your friends with your funky style!"

-sigh- Funky style indeed. If only, if only. That Yurble janitor guy seems to agree with me. Except for the fact that I am disappointed, and he is... well, furious might be the right word.

The janitor shouts, "My favorite underground dance club got closed down by that stinkin' Archivist! GRAARGH, THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!!" He hurls his mop to the floor and stamps his feet.

The Astronomy Club – Even that blue Quiggle was more stylish than this bunch! (And that isn’t saying very much.) I didn’t stay here very long, but here is the advertisement line.

"The Astronomy Club is a place where Neopians can learn all about the cosmos. Stars, planets, comets, asteroids, constellations, nebulae... they're all out there waiting to be discovered."

Whoever started the whole, seeing pictures in the stars must have had REALLY bad eyes. I tried it out, and I couldn’t see any of the ‘Protectors’ or ‘Gatherers’ that they were talking about. But you might be able to, so I guess you should check this one out.

There you have it: The inside information on some of the different clubs in Altador. (Okay, it wasn’t exactly the inside scoop, but you have to admit, I /am/ pretty great.) Hopefully this will help you on deciding which club you’d like to join, and if it doesn’t, that’s okay, because that means I got into the Neopian Times! W00T, I'm famous! Hi Mom!

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