The 10 Scariest Chairs in Neopia
I don’t think of myself as a coward; there are just a lot of scary things around
Neopia. Take neohomes, for example; most neohomes are very nice places, not scary
in the least. Some neohomes, however, have some sinister furnishings. Here is
a list of the 10 scariest chairs in Neopia. Avoid these super scary chairs at
all costs! You should probably only read this list during the day. Each of these
chairs are scream inducing on their own, let alone all of them at once, so reading
this list at night will probably give you nightmares.
10. Sheet Covered Chair
AAAGGGHHH!! Look out, it's a ghost! No, it’s a ghost chair!! OMG! Scary! Oh,
wait; it’s only a chair with a sheet on it. *whew* This chair is not very scary
at all to the casual observer, but to the pet with an overactive imagination,
it may be the scariest thing they have ever seen. Why does this chair have a
sheet over it? Are the neohome owners painting? Is the chair just really ugly?
Maybe it is made out of REAL arms and legs, or it’s a petpet eating monster
that can only contained by an innocent looking sheet? This is definitely a chair
to be feared.
9. Spooky Patio Chair
Although this chair is far from the scariest one on this list, it has potential.
It has the word ‘spooky’ in its name, it has evil looking feet, and it has sharp
protrusions at the top that look suspiciously like teeth. Its description implies
that spooky individuals enjoy sitting in this chair, which makes it scary by
default. Why would a spooky person sit in a chair that is not scary? I think
that would cancel out his or her scary factor; probably something a spooky person
wants to avoid. Combine four of these chairs with a sinister looking Spooky
Patio Table for maximum scariness.
8. Babaa Chair
Sure, this chair looks cute and cuddly but don’t let its fuzzy exterior fool
you. This chair can scare the pants off of anyone who has recently played a
game of ‘Maths Nightmare’ or anyone who has studied for a math test. (Ok, ok,
you caught me. This is not a scary chair, but a top ten list looks better with
10 chairs and not 9. Seriously though, math is scary.)
7. Squishy Spyder Chair
If you think spyders are cute, you won't find this chair to be very scary.
On the other hand, if you think spyders are creepy and make your skin crawl,
imagine sitting on the biggest spyder you have ever seen. This chair is squishy,
has tiny hairs all over it, and has teeth right over your head. Those teeth
look like they can reach down and bite you at any minute. *shudder*
6. Evil Hand Chair With Lumbar Support
Like the Spooky Patio Chair, this chair has a fair bit of scariness built into
its name. There are reports coming from all over Neopia from witnesses claiming
to have seen the fingers move. What kind of fate is it to be trapped in the
grip of an Evil Hand Chair? Sure, it has lumbar support, but that hardly makes
up for the fact that this chair could crush you on a whim. If you look on the
underside of the chair, the scary factor is upped considerably by the copious
amount of hair on the knuckles.
5. Apple Lantern Chair
While this chair is only mildly scary to the average Neopian, imagine how scary
it is to a Grundo. This chair bears a striking resemblance to a certain Dr.
Frank Sloth. How terrifying is that? Never mind the creepy glowing eyes, how
about the oozing mouth that has been haphazardly sewn shut. Was that done for
effect, making the chair even scarier, or does the chair come alive at night
feeding on the innocent? For my sake, and yours, I hope this is only a case
of shoddy stitching.
4. Gravestone Chair
Imagine with me for a moment… It is the middle of the night and you wander
out of bed to get a drink. All of a sudden, you trip over your petpet and land
on a mound of grass. Ahhh, how nice. *sniff, sniff* What is that musty smell?
Then, suddenly, the moon comes out from behind the clouds, illuminating the
grassy mound you are on. It is only after you notice the large stone that you
realize that you don’t have a mound of grass in your neohome; you are sitting
in a graveyard! EEEEEEKKKKK!!! If you put one of these chairs in your neohome,
you are just asking to be scared silly. Also, imagine what happens when the
guy who this gravestone belongs to comes looking for it. On second thought,
don’t. Something like that is much too scary to imagine.
3. Esophagor Chair
Anyone who has been to the Haunted Woods knows how scary the Esophagor is.
Sure, the Esophagor is pretty nice, but that doesn’t stop his chair from looking
super scary. Having one of these chairs in the corner is asking for trouble.
Its gaping maw is creepy enough in the daylight, but imagine when it is draped
in shadows? The scariest part of this chair is that when you sit in it (if you
dare), it groans in a very Esophagoresque manner.
2. Deserted Carnival Chair
OMG! This chair gives me the willies, the heebie-jeebies, and the creepy crawlies
all at the same time. Regular clowns are scary enough that if there were clown
chairs they would appear on this list, but an EVIL SCARY CLOWN puts it near
the top of the list. What kind of pet puts this abomination in their neohome?
Not someone I want to know about. Just knowing that there are pets out there
who own this chair gives me nightmares. I do not want to discuss this chair
any further; I want to get SOME sleep tonight.
1. Meepit Chair
Finally, we have the #1 scariest chair in Neopia. While I am sure some would
have listed the Gravestone Chair or the Deserted Carnival Chair in this spot,
anyone who has had the misfortune of having an encounter with a Meepit can give
you many, many reasons why this chair deserves the top spot. I had such an encounter
once myself. It was a dark night on Terror Road, in the Spooky Woods, when I
dropped the dubloon I was carrying. It rolled into the bushes; the tall, scary
bushes. As I bent down to pick it up, I noticed a pink blob just out of my reach.
Then, all of a sudden… Actually, I can’t remember what happened next, as it
was too scary to remember. I am pretty sure it was a Meepit though. After all,
a Meepit is the only thing scarier than a clown.