Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 124,395,024 Issue: 250 | 28th day of Swimming, Y8
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

A Baby's Revenge

by jeanaet


My name is Ailemea - that's Eye-luh-mee-uh - and I am a blue Xweetok. For those of you that are wondering, I plan on staying that way. I have ever since my dear owner Jeanie created me. Now, you may be wondering about the title of my story. Well, just let me start from the beginning!

     It was a regular day, as they usually are. At precisely 4:30 AM NST I jumped onto Jeanie in her bed, singing. "Wake up! Wake up! The DAY is new! So wake UP! Let's get the day started!" I trampled her like usual until she pushed me off the bed in a huff. Of course, as usual, she didn't get up until my Ditsy, Haelee, joined the fray by starting to lick Jeanie's face. That was when we both got thrown off.

     "OKAY!" Jeanie shrieked, sitting up, her chocolate brown hair in a disarray and her brown eyes wild. Haelee and I calmly watched while she fumed at us. "This is the LAST time, Aile! No MORE! I never asked to wake up at 4:30 AM! You are NEVER to wake me up again!" I have to admit - she was rather scary.

     After about ten minutes she stumbled out of bed and into her closet, just as usual. At exactly 5:00 in the morning, we set out. Just as usual. Our first stop was the Giant Omelette, where we picked up breakfast. After this were a few other everyday stops, and then we returned home so I could prepare to go to Neoschool. Just like usual. Well, actually, the whole day went by normally.

     I came home from Neoschool, Haelee attacked me, we ate dinner, etc. etc. Finally it was time for bed. That was when Jeanie sat me down.

     "Okay, Aile, I'm going to bed right now, and I plan on waking up at eight. Not before. Okay?" I nodded, even though my mind was already off wondering whether I should change shampoos. That Peophin really wasn't doing any good... maybe Superstar?

     "AILEMEA!" I got snapped out of my trance. Jeanie was glaring. "Do you understand?" I nodded again.

     "Yeah... right. No more Peophin..." I said absently, strolling up the stairs.

     "Right... wait! Ailemea!" But I was already safely in my room, checking out shampoo prices.

     Don't worry - we're almost there. About five hours after my conversation with Jeanie, at about 1:30 AM NST, I sat with Haelee trying out tester shampoos. I applied the shampoo to different portions of fur, added some water, then Haelee scrubbed, dried, and brushed.

     I stared in the mirror, musing. "No... Peophin is definitely Y4," I decided. Haelee nodded in agreement. That's when I heard it. A bump in the night (or early morning). I nearly jumped out of my fur, with Haelee clinging to it.

     "What was that?" I hissed, holding her. She whimpered in reply. "Come with me," I whispered, and crawled out of my room and all paws. I heard a pan clash to the floor downstairs, Haelee's cardboard claws sank into my shoulder. "Shhh!"

     I finally made it. I dragged myself into Jeanie's bedroom. "Jeanie," I whispered. No reply. "Jeanie!" Only a loud snore. "JEANIE!" I almost screamed, pouncing on her. She moaned and rolled around. I nodded at my Ditsy and she delicately licked Jeanie on the cheek. Jeanie shrieked and flew up. I slapped a paw over her mouth.

     "Jeanie, I think we're being robbed!" I whimpered. She rolled her eyes and removed my paw.

     "I TOLD you, Aile, no more early morning wake-ups! BAD girl!" Jeanie hissed, and collapsed back on the bed. After about ten seconds she was snoring again. I shook my head in disbelief.

     "Well, Haelee, it looks as if we have to take care of this ourselves," I told my petpet. She curled up by Jeanie's head, glaring indignantly. "Fine, be that way!" I growled, and snuck out the door. I stopped in my room to get my baseball bat - so it was rubber, but how would the robber know that?

     I entered the kitchen to find a red little tail sticking out from the refrigerator door. I held out the bat and tried to control the shaking.

     "Alright, buddy, you better get out of here before you get a hit from my Hissing Techo Staff!" So I lied, who cares? We are talking about a robber! The robber whirled around and it was none other than...


     The moment I saw his ray gun I started screaming. I turned to run away but it was TOO late! I heard his rainbow-like gun shoot, and then felt a peculiar melting feeling. I whirled around in time to see him disappear with a wink. I looked down at my paws. They were small and... gulp. Pink. I fainted.

     I was shaken awake by a frazzled Jeanie. Her eyes were wide with concern. "Oh you poor little thing!" she said with concern. I squeaked. It couldn't be true. "Hey, have you seen my pet?" Jeanie asked. "She is a big Xweetok. A blue one." She smiled kindly at me. I glared. She frowned.

     I sat up and saw Haelee staring interestedly at me. It was clear she recognized me. Self consciously I began to fix my fur - whatever was left of it. Jeanie gasped.

     "No. It's not... is it? Ailemea?"

     "Who else?" I said. I almost fainted again at the sound of my squeaky voice. I grasped my throat, as if trying to fix my vocal chords. Jeanie's mouth twisted. "What's so funny?" I asked, glaring. "Boochi is a monster!" Jeanie let out a giggle.

     "Well, Aile, you look kind of cute as a baby Xweetok," she admitted, and then burst out in loud laughter. I blushed furiously and turned my back on her.

     "Don't get used to it. Boochi is going to pay." All I needed, was to round up some troops.

     One week later I stood before my recruits, an army helmet on my head. Before me stood almost every single kind of baby Neopet. Except Grundos. I gazed at my troops with pride - they were ready. Juju the baby Flotsam and Jojo the baby Jetsam, were in their aquarium chattering away. However, their shoulders were set, their eyes were alert. They were soldiers!

     Around the large room all of my troops prepared for our mission. The all important mission. Macho the baby Grarrl was lifting weights, Sweetie the baby Yurble was giving a spirited speech to a number of other baby Neopets, including Baby the baby Nimmo who swam helplessly around in his tank. Now was the time to begin.

     "Neopets! Friends!" I cried out, holding up my baton. All the Babies turned to me, their faces full of admiration. "The time has come to begin! The time to renew ourselves in Neopia's eyes! My friends, each of us has gone through hardships since the cruel zap of that horrible baby Bruce's gun. I myself used to be a world renowned Neopian Times writer! Karl the baby Lupe used to be Jeran's understudy! Lulu the baby Ixi used to run a Petpet Shop in Meridell! But it was all taken away. Our friend Baby the Nimmo has no hind LEGS! We all had wonderful lives before that baby Bruce - but now we have our cheeks pinched, are noses wiped - we're not adults anymore! And frankly, my friends, I don't like it." The Neopets cheered. I smiled. "The objective of our mission, friends, is to track and catch Boochi. Lola!" A baby Quiggle came up from her desk.

     "Hand out all these folders to those named on them," I said imperiously, handing her a pile of folders, one for each Neopet. Lola nodded and started calling out names. "You have each been given a certain place in Neopia to search for our evil friend," my voice rang out. "At the door you are each to take an Airax and hook up with your partner. Let us know the SECOND you see him! If you can, detain him and take him to..." That was when the Post Pteri flew in. In her talons was a large paper. She landed in front of me. Stupid Jeanie. Right in the middle of my speech! Sighing, I gestured at the Pteri.


     "Aile, dear, can you get out of your world domination plans for one night and come home for dinner?" the Pteri read from the paper. Angrily I turned my back on the Neopets and dragged the Pteri out of earshot of the other Neopets, allowing Lola time to pass out the folders.

     "Tell Jeanie that I can't come home; this mission might take ages," I informed the Pteri.

     The paper was unrolled a little more. "In case of a negative response then say: Yes, Ailemea, I know. Just be home by eight, okay? Love you, sweetheart!" The Pteri folded up the message and turned and flew out abruptly. I turned back to my followers.

     "Where was I?"

     "You were telling them the objective of the mission," Lola whispered.

     "Right," I remembered. "If you can, detain him and take him to... the dungeon." All the Neopets nodded solemnly. "For those of you that don't have the ability to move that easily, for being too much baby, then you will be making sure everything is ready for our... friend. Now, let's go. Iluveatingchocolate - you're with me," I called out to a baby JubJub whose lips were smeared with chocolate.

     We left behind Bat the baby Korbat (her legs and wings were too small to carry that huge head around), yellowKiko the baby Pteri, all the baby Neopets limited to aquariums (except for Juju and Jojo who were going to Maraqua), and a few others. I stared sadly at their little wings, or feet, or legs, or whatever limited them coming.

     "Alright, let's move out!"

     I had assigned myself to Meridell with Chocolate (that is his nickname), as that is one of my favorite places to go. I checked my watch. "Let's pay a visit to Illusen real fast. I haven't seen her in awhile," I told Chocolate, and he nodded.

     As we were walking up to Illusen's Grove I saw Neopets and their owners coming out, some with Illusen Merchandise, others with just plain happy faces. Those faces disappeared as a ray overtook them and they were changed into Babies. Thankfully some missed and the Neopets got away. Chocolate and I moved into position and whirled around.

     There was Boochi, cackling his head off, the evil thing. Chocolate and I pulled out our Rainbow Guns - which had been suitably fixed for our purposes by Bra1n33 the baby Acara, a former Science Neoschool graduate. I pulled the Airax off my shoulder. "You know what to do," I whispered. It took off.

      I knew that the other Neopets wouldn't be wasting words while they were getting back to... the dungeon. Chocolate and I snuck up quietly, without a sound, guns at the ready. Chocolate looked at me, I nodded. I gently turned a notch on my gun to 'Net'. Chocolate turned his to 'Stun'. Just in case. We pulled our Halloween masks over our face. We nodded once more at each other.

     We got right behind him. It was best if he were facing us. I took a chance. "Good day, life-stealer," I said, already pulling the trigger. Boochi whirled around and got a face full of anti-teleporting net. The sleep gas that released shortly after shooting put him to sleep. The last thing he saw before darkness was my face. "Good bye, life-stealer."

     I smiled softly. "Good job, Brainy."

     Everyone cheered as Chocolate and I dragged Boochi into... the dungeon. The baby Grarrl and Skeith rushed forward to take him. I approached Bra1n33.

     "Is it ready?" I asked as I handed her Boochi's ray gun. She nodded and then began to look the gun over.

     "The holding cell is now teleport-proof, damage-proof, Boochi-proof, and... heck, waterproof," the Acara stated. I smiled.

     "You really came through for us, Brainy," I told her. "Those adjusted Rainbow Guns really did the trick." She grinned. I turned and waved my paw at the still waiting Grarrl and Skeith. They threw Boochi roughly into the holding cell. I closed the door personally. It clicked satisfyingly.

     "Let it go, Brainy," I called. The Acara flicked a switch and gas came out of the vents in the cell. Boochi was immediately awoken. He looked around in confusion and then saw us. Angrily he ran at the cell door. The Boochi-proof mechanism kicked in and he was jolted backwards.

     "We're not pets you want to mess with, Boochi," I said solidly. My followers nodded and continued to glare at the baby Bruce. Boochi rolled his eyes and began to fix his bowtie.

     "What do you want, Xweetok? Your sister zapped? Your brother?" His eyebrows rose. "Your owner?" I laughed mockingly.

     "I don't want another baby in this world, Bruce. I want my life back. So - I'm going to take yours," I said coldly. His eyes widened as Bra1n33 handed me a plastic copy of Boochi's ray gun (it looked like his real one). I threw it on the ground and Boochi gasped. The baby Grarrl and Skeith who had thrown him into the cell jumped onto it, and it smashed to pieces. Boochi nearly fainted.

     "Now, you're lucky I'm not that evil," I told the Bruce, taking the real gun from Bra1n33. Boochi sighed with relief. "Now," I continued. "How do I become an adult again?" Boochi shrugged.

     "Paint yourself," he said, eyeing the gun. I laughed. My followers guffawed, squealed, snorted - it was an interesting noise.

     "If I wanted to waste the Neopoints painting myself blue again, I wouldn't have gone to the trouble of catching you," I told him. He looked up at me, tearing his eyes from the gun.

     "You want to go back to being blue?" he said incredulously. I smiled dangerously. He backed up. "Okay okay - blue it is! I'll just need my gun." I looked at the baby Acara.

     "You've looked it over, any dangers to giving it to him?"

     "Not that I can see, Aile." I nodded and passed the gun through the bars. Boochi eagerly reached for it.

     "Wait," I said, pulling it back out. His face fell. "Just tell me how and I'll see if it works." He glared. "Look, buddy, I'm prepared to shatter this one just like the last." He nodded.

     "Right, um... that notch on the side of the gun. Twist it to 'O' instead of 'B'," he said nervously.

     "What does 'O' stand for?" I asked suspiciously.

     "What else? Old!" Boochi said, rolling his eyes. I nodded, satisfied. I then pointed the gun at Boochi. "What are you doing!" Boochi cried, backing up against the wall.

     "I'm testing," I said. "I don't want to turn into a glob of goop." He frowned.

     "After this is over, you'll let me go, right?" he asked, frightened. I shrugged, nodded, and then pulled the trigger.

      There was a flash of light and then a scream of pain. The light cleared to show a mutant Bruce. We all gaped.

      "No wonder he wants to be a baby... " Chocolate muttered. "He looks hideous!" We all silently agreed.

      "Yeah, now that you've had your look, can you change me back now?" Boochi said angrily, trying to hide his horribly warty body. I was quick to turn the notch and zap him once more. The baby Boochi glared at me from the cell.

      "No one is ever going to think of you the same again." I laughed. I turned the notch to 'O' and began to zap my followers. They cheered and squealed. Finally an assortment of royal, starry, pink, etc. pets stood around me.

      Lovely the Zafara Royal Girl reached down and took the gun from me. Smiling splendidly, she turned the gun and zapped me. A splendid feeling of growth filled me. I looked in a mirror that hung on the wall of... the dungeon. There stood a beautiful blue Xweetok. I cheered. All my followers followed.

      The mini Lenny that kept time on my wrist popped up self-importantly. It chattered at me, "7:45! 7:45! Gotta get home! Gotta get home!" I grinned.

      "Brainy, take care of Boochi," I called and the Pink Acara nodded. I dashed out of... the dungeon.

      At precisely 8:00 PM NST I entered my house. I sat down to dinner, with Haelee staring curiously at me. Jeanie looked at me and sighed. Just like usual.

The End

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Good thing it's not the paint brush.

by lightning_city


A Gnawing Curiosity
In my opinion, the Times is better than books--at least the Times doesn’t burst into a cloud of discolored smoke when you’re done with it.

by literalluau


The Price of Faith: Part Seven
The closer we got to the Haunted Woods, the more things started to vanish or die. What greeted us now couldn't possibly be a forest. It was more like a dark reflection of one, like a landscape hanging inverted in the water of a lake...

by mutedsanity


Making Its Mark
Whether it be a rainy day, a sunny day, or a snowy day, the Neopian Times will keep you inside just so you can read it in peace. With amazing article, astounding stories, and creative comics, it is worth hours of entertainment.

by o_apollo_o

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.