Caution: Quills may be sharp Circulation: 123,710,650 Issue: 248 | 14th day of Swimming, Y8
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The 17 Wonders of the Neopian World

by xoskeliton


Every day, we trek across Neopia to do tasks, such as playing on the Wheel of Monotony in Tyrannia, playing Lost Desert Scratch cards, or going to Jelly... wait... I mean... *waves hands in front of face* you didn't hear anything! *cough*

Anyway, we do these tasks without taking a glance at the beauty and mystery of Neopia. I was blind to this beauty until only a couple of days ago when I was in the Lost Desert and my Lupe, Pharoh92, pointed out the pyramids to me. That’s why I decided to take a trek across Neopia with dear ol' Pharoh to check out the sights and bring you: The Seventeen Wonders of the Neopian World.

1. The Pyramids of the Lost Desert As I mentioned, Pharoh pointed out the wonder of the pyramids. They are so large, and sometimes the most overlooked thing in the Lost Desert. Two of the pyramids house games, the largest housing Sutek's Tomb and the medium-est housing the Pyramids Game. The last one, although having undiscovered insides, might house the Temple of 1000 Tombs. Take note that the only thing that appears on the part of the Neopian map housing the Lost Desert... are the pyramids.

2. The Rainbow Fountain – Never has there been a fountain with so many awesome colors. You have to wonder how it houses them all. Red, purple, green, pink, pirate... now think about it. Before Neopia was created, did you ever see the color pirate? I didn't think so. Whether the Rainbow Fountain produced the magical paint brushes or not, we can't paint our pet without the fountain.

3. The Hidden Tower – Never in my life have I ever seen an invisible tower... until I stumbled across Faerieland. I think it is tall, but maybe it isn't. We should get a paintbrush from the Rainbow Fountain and give it color so we can see, but that would just take it off our list. The outside isn't just what makes it a wonder, it's what's inside that counts too. It's amazing how the Faerie Queen can get all of these rare, elusive, and/or eerie items, stick them in a tower she can't see, and charge outrageous prices for them. I mean, Battle Dung? (Where does TNT get this stuff?) I'm going on a rant now, so that's number 3.

4. The Ruins Of Maraqua – It houses so much history. You can see the tip of the once proud underwater city poking out of the ocean floor. The place that once housed the many Maraquan paint brushes fallen in a glowing, bubbling, green pit and manhandled by Neopets. Ancient, waterproof papers filled with fancy drawings that need an abundance of color. A cave, filled with strange fish, hidden until a year ago. A statue of a Faerie so maniacal and sinister that she had a video game based on her. If you look at New Maraqua and back at the ruins, you can't imagine how they managed to rebuild after all of their heartache.

5. The Brain Tree – He is a talking tree. He has a mouth and eyes. He has a huge, pulsating brain resting in his branches. He is extremely smart. How do you argue with that?

6. The Kiko Lake – Of course, the lake itself. It must have many wonders about it. I mean, what other lake in Neopia has its own glass bottom tour. I can only imagine how deep it goes. It could be an endless lake. Who knows... The Kikos do and they must respect the lake in some way to call it their home.

7. The Rock Pool Statues – The Statues are so large. They have really big faces. They scared Pharoh. It is weird how the primitive people of Mystery Island carved the faces in the rock. They are the guardians of Mystery Island, watching vigilantly over everything with emotionless faces, waiting for the first sign of trouble.

Pharoh92: Ooohhh! Spooky!

Me: Oh, be quiet. Why do you need to talk now?

Pharoh: Because the glue you put on my mouth broke and I needed to stretch my talking muscles.

Me: *sigh*... Ok. Back to business.

8. Krawk Island's Buried Treasure – The fact that you can't see this wonder makes it so. It is lying underground, never staying in one place for any one person. For the person who finds it, fame, riches, and happiness wait.

Pharoh: Wow! Can we go look for it?

Me: No, I'm writing. Are you going to talk after every wonder now?

Pharoh: Maybe... maybe not.

Me: *shakes head*

9. The Wheel of Knowledge – Never have I seen such a smart wheel. Tips, tricks, and general knowledge lie in wait for those who get the right spin trajectory thingy. While shelling out 500 NP for a spin may seem expensive, the reward is better than any amount of money.

Pharoh: *cough* Yeah right, liar. *cough*

Me: Alright, fine. I don't think that way, but I'm sure someone does.

Pharoh: See, doesn't it feel better to tell the truth?

Me: Yeah... *pout* but you ruined my philosophical look...

10. The Merry Go Round – On the small Roo Island, you see Neopians flock to see Count Von Roo and the Dice-A-Roo, but the most fun to be had on the island is the Merry Go Round. During the day, you feel the wind through your hair... or fur... or gills... and can’t help but letting out that candid “WHEEEEEEE!!!” At night, you can spin and gaze up at the stars. It really is a wonderful time all around.

11. Turmaculus – The big, sleeping, petpet eating, loveable oaf just lays there and sleeps, waiting for the petpet that can wake him up and have the “intestinal fortitude” to stare him in the face when they do. He is a creature of unbelief, as one wonders: “How does a petpet get so big?”



Turmy: ROAR!!!

~A few minutes later~

Me: That is why I told you not to send Feepit over there!

Pharoh: Sorry.

12. The Giant Omelette – I have never seen an omelette so big and with so many ingredients. Hardly ever running out of omelettes to give, many Neopians flock to get a taste of the delectable mountain of eggs.

Pharoh: Mrfghthjhhj!

Me: Don’t talk with your mouth full.

Pharoh: Sorry. This omelette is so good.

Me: What kind is it?

Pharoh: Broccoli and Chia. I haven’t gotten to the Chia part yet.

Chia: HELP ME!

Me: Put it down.

Pharoh: Aw man. But I was just about to get to the tastiest part!

Me: Now.

Chia: *Pfffbbbbt*

13. The Snowager – Seriously. A giant snake made of ice guarding neggs, plushies, key chains, and an exclusive avatar. What’s not to marvel at? The only other wonder is how he gets all of his items...

Pharoh: He steals from the Money Tree.

Me: Oh really?

Pharoh: Yeah! I saw him the other day!

Me: *shakes head*

14. Virtupets Space Station – The Space Station has it all. A café, cool games, space weapons, space petpets, robots, a warehouse (probably housing shipments to Neopia central within), and a whole load of those little Grundos. Its design is sleek and stylish, so, despite being created by Dr. Sloth, it is a real marvel and wonder in itself.

Pharoh: You forgot about the Lever of Doom.

Me: Well, that really isn’t a very nice tourist attraction, is it.

Pharoh: No, but it was pretty funny when it punched you.

Me: ... No comment...

15. Kreludor – Think about it. The most celestial-est celestial body we’ve ever seen. Neopia’s moon: Kreludor. It has moon food and Neocola and... and...

Pharoh: Gravity that is currently 30% that of Neopia. Boing!

Me: Yeah... thanks.

16. The Hall of Heroes – It is amazing how a small step can make a big change there. Constellations of heroes, lights above statues, exploding Dark Faeries... It's all so mystical!

Pharoh: Yeah, but finding that spell book in the archives was hard!

Me: Save it.

17. The Darigan Citadel – It is dark. It floats, and if it fell, half of Meridell would be destroyed. Yes, that’s right. The Darigan Citadel rounds off my list. No one knows how it floats. No one knows if it will come down, but for Meridell’s sake, it had better not.

That finishes off my list. I hope this brought you some insight. Of course, there are many other wonders in this world. The Esophagor, the Giant Marrow in Meri Acres Farm, the “still-to-be-explored” Lutari Island, and Coltzan’s Shrine being among them. If I explained all of those (plus more probably) you would fall asleep.

Pharoh: If they haven’t already!

Me: What do you know, anyway.

Pharoh: Not too much. You never read me any books!

Me: Just sit down and listen. I’m almost done.

Anyway, if you want to discover more wonders, all you have to do is take a look at the map.

Signing off,


Pharoh: And Pharoh92!

Me: Yes... and Pharoh92.

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