Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 120,791,029 Issue: 244 | 16th day of Relaxing, Y8
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The Kiwi Muffin

by anna_invincible


"Shopkeeper! How much for this Pea and Ham Baby Food?"

      I rolled my eyes and yawned. My owner, Anna, had been shopping for my food items for three hours straight. The worst part of it was, she had to be wearing the tackiest combo I'd ever seen. An "I Love Fyora" T-shirt and a straw hat.

      She looked over at a nearby display of hats, picking out the ugliest ones she could find. Some stray brown hair from her ponytail fell into her dark green eyes. She brushed them away impatiently, intent on her search to find me ugly hats.

      I yawned again, this time louder. My owner heard me and twirled around to face me, her eyes narrowed.

      "You know, Chili, it would go by faster if you helped me look. Go find some good apples. Now."

      I felt like saying, "It would also go faster if I slept through it," but I knew I would get in trouble. And I didn't want to humiliate her in front of all these people.

      I sighed and vaguely brushed through a box of green apples, picking ones without bruises. My mind wandered as I stared at a pipe that was leaking water near a corner. Anna's hand on my shoulder drifted me back to reality.

      "Come on, Chili Chii, we're going home now."

      She took the apples I had picked and paid for all our food. Everything she bought seemed to tower over my head. Then again, I'm only two feet tall anyway.

      "That will be 3,592 Neopoints please, ma'am," the short yellow Chia said brightly.

      Anna reached into her pockets, pulling the Neopoints out. I wondered vaguely how long it would be until I got a job so I could pay for stuff like that.

      "Come on Chili, time to go home."

      She took off her straw hat and placed me on her shoulders. I grabbed her hat, putting it on. It fell over my face and I couldn't see. Anna chuckled. She lifted the rim of the hat and peeked into my eyes.

      "Oh little Chili, you are such a rascal."

      I didn't really know what "rascal" meant, so I just chewed the Yellow Chia Plushie Anna had bought me earlier. She chuckled softly again and we continued our walk home.

      On the way home, lots of Neopets stopped to look at me. One elderly green Buzz said, "Aw, look at the little thing. She's so cute!" Another Neopet, a younger pink Aisha, had said, "Aw, she looks like a little dress up doll! How sweet!" I could feel myself blushing. Who knew being a baby Shoyru had so many advantages?

      Finally, after much poking and prodding, I was home. Anna gently put me down on the floor and put everything away. I waited silently where she had put me down. She eventually turned to me.

      "Chili, I have to go to work. The boss called and it's an emergency. Can I trust you to stay home alone?"

      I sighed. If anything tried to break into our house, I could beat it with my hands tied behind my back. My owner knew this, she was just being a "good parent" by making sure I knew who was in charge.

      "Yes, Ma, you can trust me. I will lock all the doors and won't open the door to strangers. And if a salesman comes, I fly out of the chimney."

      She laughed, just like I wanted her to. She looked tense and worried, and I wanted her to loosen up. She kissed my forehead softly.

      "That's my girl," she whispered, opening the door. "I will be back around 9. There's some baby food in the fridge, if you want it. Bye!"

      The door snapped closed. I sighed. Nothing to do except play with my plushies, I suppose. I was in the middle of fighting Mr. Yellow Chia and Ms. Green Gelert plushie together when I heard a noise coming from my room.

      Curious but a little reluctant after my last encounter with strange noises, I followed the sound. I went near my toy box, and I heard what sounded like tiny paws beating against the side.

      I hesitated. What if whatever was in there was hurt? Then again, it could be an enemy. I figured I might as well open the box, for I could easily fend off any attacker. Boy, was I wrong.

      I opened up the latch and a slippery blob of teal and purple threw its arms around me, giving me the hardest "hug" I'd ever had in my entire life.

      "Mmpsk, hug!" it shouted, hugging me tighter still. I could hardly breathe, so I grabbed the thing and threw it across the room, gasping.

      The thing crashed into the wall above my bed and fell into it. It jumped up, dazed and confused. It looked over in my direction, and I flinched. Its eyes brightened, and it went flying toward me.


      I ducked, and it flew out the window, squeaking and flailing its tiny little arms. I sighed a breath of relief, but then felt a little bit guilty, since all the thing wanted was a hug. I shrugged my guilt off. I mean, really, the thing didn't have to CHOKE me.

      I snuggled into my pillow with a nice copy of "Kau Comics" and read through it twice. After a while, my eyes started to droop, so I put the comic under my pillow, turned out my lamp, and fell into a sound sleep.

      As soon as I opened my eyes the next morning, they came face-to-face with two bright teal-colored eyes. My stomach dropped and I thought, Oh no, it's back. It saw my eyes open and squealed happily.

      "HUG, HUG!"

      Reluctantly, I hugged it near my shoulder and it slobbered all over me as it gave me a "hug." I cringed. I was a baby, and I didn't drool like that. After a few minutes of "hugging" me, it eventually stopped and started clawing at my blanket, its tongue hanging out, waiting for me to do something.

      I looked at it. Slowly, my eyes following it the whole time, I walked over to the stool in the corner of my room. Its eyes followed me the whole time. I sat down on the stool, very tense, still watching the thing, waiting for it to strike.

      I looked closely at it. The thing was actually kind of adorable, with its little fins and bright eyes. Its eyes gazed longingly at me, and I felt terrible. I got up from the stool and beckoned it closer.

      "Come here, sweetie pie, come here... "

      It sniffed its little nose and scrambled toward me with its arms wide open, and it caught me in a flying hug. I smiled and hugged the thing close.

      "Well, little buddy, I think you need a name," I said, holding him away from my shoulder.

      It scratched its head and looked around with its tiny eyes. Suddenly, it squeaked out the first word I had heard it say besides "hug."

      "MUFFIN!" it shouted, jumping out of my arms and pounding its little feet. "MUFFIN, MUFFIN, MUFFIN!"

      I winced as it knocked over Anna's Disco lamp. That had cost her 4,982 Neopoints. I had to stop that thing. I ran over to it and yanked it away from the bathtub, for it was spilling warm water everywhere. It kicked and screamed, and finally bit my hand.

      "YOUCH!" I dropped it and grabbed my finger, which was bleeding. My head throbbed. If I didn't stop that thing, it would destroy the whole house. Suddenly, I had an idea.

      I ran over to the cabinet and looked around for a muffin. Any type, give that thing SOMETHING... there. THERE! A MUFFIN!

      I hollered happily and took it out. A nice Kiwi Muffin. My tail drooped. Anna had been saving that for my birthday party tomorrow. What would she do if I disobeyed her? I could lie, but I would feel awful, and that's not how I wanted to feel on my birthday.

      After negotiating with myself, I figured I might as well tell Anna the truth, since that's all she ever wants out of me, and she would be angrier if I lied to her. I ran into the room where the thing was causing the most pandemonium and whistled to it.

      "Here, little cutie, come get the yummy Kiwi Muffin!"

      It immediately dropped the mattress it was chewing on and ran for the muffin I was holding, so I dropped the muffin and stepped out of the way. The muffin dropped to the floor, and the thing gobbled it up greedily. I cringed as crumbs flew out of its mouth. Had that thing been taught any manners at all?

      As soon as it was done, it sped over to my bed, threw the covers over itself, and started snoring. I glared at it. It expected ME to clean up the huge mess it had made. Better get started, I thought. Anna will be home soon.

      I started in the bathroom, since it was the worst. I took up the mop and mopped up all the water it had spilled. All the while, I thought of what to name it. I decided to name it Kiwi, after the muffin it ate. Kiwi. I like it, I thought as I dumped the water from the bucket into the garden.

      Next was the lounge. I shuddered. The paintings were torn down, pillows were strewn everywhere, and the plant had been knocked over. I hung the paintings back up and put the pillows back in place, but that was the least of my worries.

      I got up the broom and swept up the dirt, sighing. How could something so small make so much mess? After that was finished, I went into my room. The lamp was still broken, so I swept the mess up and threw the pieces away.

      The welcome mat was out of place, so I slid it back to its original spot, right by the entrance. Everything else looked spick and span, so I went to the lounge and collapsed into the curvy recliner. My eyes closed and I was ready to sleep when the door opened and my owner came walking in.

      She looked like she had been shopping. She was wearing a new shirt (this time it wasn't tacky), and she had gotten her hair curled. There was a flower in it, and she had on a grass skirt. I pondered that. Had she gone to Mystery Island in only three hours?

      She looked embarrassed. She glanced at her watch briefly.

      "Chili! It's 11:30 already! What in Kreludor are you doing up?"

      I looked down, and told her everything that had happened. When I finished telling her about Kiwi, she was smiling.

      "Well, Chili, that 'Teal Monster' is actually called a Huggy. Did it seem overly friendly?"

      I nodded, shuddering at the first time I had received a hug from Kiwi. Anna smiled.

      "Well, they can be quite sweet, but you must keep a firm hand with them. I raised you well, so I expect you to be a good parent." She walked over to Kiwi and lightly tapped its shoulders. Kiwi yawned and stretched its arms. It jumped up at seeing me and gave me a hug. Anna smiled wider then ever.

      "Chili, you and Kiwi are going to be the best of friends."

      I grinned, and Kiwi dug its nose into my shoulder, and all was right with the world.

The End

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