The Kiwi Muffin
"Shopkeeper! How much for this Pea and Ham Baby Food?"
I rolled my eyes and yawned. My owner, Anna,
had been shopping for my food items for three hours straight. The worst part
of it was, she had to be wearing the tackiest combo I'd ever seen. An "I Love
Fyora" T-shirt and a straw hat.
She looked over at a nearby display of hats,
picking out the ugliest ones she could find. Some stray brown hair from her
ponytail fell into her dark green eyes. She brushed them away impatiently, intent
on her search to find me ugly hats.
I yawned again, this time louder. My owner heard
me and twirled around to face me, her eyes narrowed.
"You know, Chili, it would go by faster if you
helped me look. Go find some good apples. Now."
I felt like saying, "It would also go faster
if I slept through it," but I knew I would get in trouble. And I didn't want
to humiliate her in front of all these people.
I sighed and vaguely brushed through a box of
green apples, picking ones without bruises. My mind wandered as I stared at
a pipe that was leaking water near a corner. Anna's hand on my shoulder drifted
me back to reality.
"Come on, Chili Chii, we're going home now."
She took the apples I had picked and paid for
all our food. Everything she bought seemed to tower over my head. Then again,
I'm only two feet tall anyway.
"That will be 3,592 Neopoints please, ma'am,"
the short yellow Chia said brightly.
Anna reached into her pockets, pulling the Neopoints
out. I wondered vaguely how long it would be until I got a job so I could pay
for stuff like that.
"Come on Chili, time to go home."
She took off her straw hat and placed me on
her shoulders. I grabbed her hat, putting it on. It fell over my face and I
couldn't see. Anna chuckled. She lifted the rim of the hat and peeked into my
"Oh little Chili, you are such a rascal."
I didn't really know what "rascal" meant, so
I just chewed the Yellow Chia Plushie Anna had bought me earlier. She chuckled
softly again and we continued our walk home.
On the way home, lots of Neopets stopped to
look at me. One elderly green Buzz said, "Aw, look at the little thing. She's
so cute!" Another Neopet, a younger pink Aisha, had said, "Aw, she looks like
a little dress up doll! How sweet!" I could feel myself blushing. Who knew being
a baby Shoyru had so many advantages?
Finally, after much poking and prodding, I was
home. Anna gently put me down on the floor and put everything away. I waited
silently where she had put me down. She eventually turned to me.
"Chili, I have to go to work. The boss called
and it's an emergency. Can I trust you to stay home alone?"
I sighed. If anything tried to break into our
house, I could beat it with my hands tied behind my back. My owner knew this,
she was just being a "good parent" by making sure I knew who was in charge.
"Yes, Ma, you can trust me. I will lock all
the doors and won't open the door to strangers. And if a salesman comes, I fly
out of the chimney."
She laughed, just like I wanted her to. She
looked tense and worried, and I wanted her to loosen up. She kissed my forehead
"That's my girl," she whispered, opening the
door. "I will be back around 9. There's some baby food in the fridge, if you
want it. Bye!"
The door snapped closed. I sighed. Nothing to
do except play with my plushies, I suppose. I was in the middle of fighting
Mr. Yellow Chia and Ms. Green Gelert plushie together when I heard a noise coming
from my room.
Curious but a little reluctant after my last
encounter with strange noises, I followed the sound. I went near my toy box,
and I heard what sounded like tiny paws beating against the side.
I hesitated. What if whatever was in there was
hurt? Then again, it could be an enemy. I figured I might as well open the box,
for I could easily fend off any attacker. Boy, was I wrong.
I opened up the latch and a slippery blob of
teal and purple threw its arms around me, giving me the hardest "hug" I'd ever
had in my entire life.
"Mmpsk, hug!" it shouted, hugging me tighter
still. I could hardly breathe, so I grabbed the thing and threw it across the
The thing crashed into the wall above my bed
and fell into it. It jumped up, dazed and confused. It looked over in my direction,
and I flinched. Its eyes brightened, and it went flying toward me.
I ducked, and it flew out the window, squeaking
and flailing its tiny little arms. I sighed a breath of relief, but then felt
a little bit guilty, since all the thing wanted was a hug. I shrugged my guilt
off. I mean, really, the thing didn't have to CHOKE me.
I snuggled into my pillow with a nice copy of
"Kau Comics" and read through it twice. After a while, my eyes started to droop,
so I put the comic under my pillow, turned out my lamp, and fell into a sound
As soon as I opened my eyes the next morning,
they came face-to-face with two bright teal-colored eyes. My stomach dropped
and I thought, Oh no, it's back. It saw my eyes open and squealed happily.
Reluctantly, I hugged it near my shoulder and
it slobbered all over me as it gave me a "hug." I cringed. I was a baby, and
I didn't drool like that. After a few minutes of "hugging" me, it eventually
stopped and started clawing at my blanket, its tongue hanging out, waiting for
me to do something.
I looked at it. Slowly, my eyes following it
the whole time, I walked over to the stool in the corner of my room. Its eyes
followed me the whole time. I sat down on the stool, very tense, still watching
the thing, waiting for it to strike.
I looked closely at it. The thing was actually
kind of adorable, with its little fins and bright eyes. Its eyes gazed longingly
at me, and I felt terrible. I got up from the stool and beckoned it closer.
"Come here, sweetie pie, come here... "
It sniffed its little nose and scrambled toward
me with its arms wide open, and it caught me in a flying hug. I smiled and hugged
the thing close.
"Well, little buddy, I think you need a name,"
I said, holding him away from my shoulder.
It scratched its head and looked around with
its tiny eyes. Suddenly, it squeaked out the first word I had heard it say besides
"MUFFIN!" it shouted, jumping out of my arms
and pounding its little feet. "MUFFIN, MUFFIN, MUFFIN!"
I winced as it knocked over Anna's Disco lamp.
That had cost her 4,982 Neopoints. I had to stop that thing. I ran over to it
and yanked it away from the bathtub, for it was spilling warm water everywhere.
It kicked and screamed, and finally bit my hand.
"YOUCH!" I dropped it and grabbed my finger,
which was bleeding. My head throbbed. If I didn't stop that thing, it would
destroy the whole house. Suddenly, I had an idea.
I ran over to the cabinet and looked around
for a muffin. Any type, give that thing SOMETHING... there. THERE! A MUFFIN!
I hollered happily and took it out. A nice Kiwi
Muffin. My tail drooped. Anna had been saving that for my birthday party tomorrow.
What would she do if I disobeyed her? I could lie, but I would feel awful, and
that's not how I wanted to feel on my birthday.
After negotiating with myself, I figured I might
as well tell Anna the truth, since that's all she ever wants out of me, and
she would be angrier if I lied to her. I ran into the room where the thing was
causing the most pandemonium and whistled to it.
"Here, little cutie, come get the yummy Kiwi
It immediately dropped the mattress it was chewing
on and ran for the muffin I was holding, so I dropped the muffin and stepped
out of the way. The muffin dropped to the floor, and the thing gobbled it up
greedily. I cringed as crumbs flew out of its mouth. Had that thing been taught
any manners at all?
As soon as it was done, it sped over to my bed,
threw the covers over itself, and started snoring. I glared at it. It expected
ME to clean up the huge mess it had made. Better get started, I thought.
Anna will be home soon.
I started in the bathroom, since it was the
worst. I took up the mop and mopped up all the water it had spilled. All the
while, I thought of what to name it. I decided to name it Kiwi, after the muffin
it ate. Kiwi. I like it, I thought as I dumped the water from the bucket
into the garden.
Next was the lounge. I shuddered. The paintings
were torn down, pillows were strewn everywhere, and the plant had been knocked
over. I hung the paintings back up and put the pillows back in place, but that
was the least of my worries.
I got up the broom and swept up the dirt, sighing.
How could something so small make so much mess? After that was finished, I went
into my room. The lamp was still broken, so I swept the mess up and threw the
The welcome mat was out of place, so I slid
it back to its original spot, right by the entrance. Everything else looked
spick and span, so I went to the lounge and collapsed into the curvy recliner.
My eyes closed and I was ready to sleep when the door opened and my owner came
She looked like she had been shopping. She was
wearing a new shirt (this time it wasn't tacky), and she had gotten her hair
curled. There was a flower in it, and she had on a grass skirt. I pondered that.
Had she gone to Mystery Island in only three hours?
She looked embarrassed. She glanced at her watch
"Chili! It's 11:30 already! What in Kreludor
are you doing up?"
I looked down, and told her everything that
had happened. When I finished telling her about Kiwi, she was smiling.
"Well, Chili, that 'Teal Monster' is actually
called a Huggy. Did it seem overly friendly?"
I nodded, shuddering at the first time I had
received a hug from Kiwi. Anna smiled.
"Well, they can be quite sweet, but you must
keep a firm hand with them. I raised you well, so I expect you to be a good
parent." She walked over to Kiwi and lightly tapped its shoulders. Kiwi yawned
and stretched its arms. It jumped up at seeing me and gave me a hug. Anna smiled
wider then ever.
"Chili, you and Kiwi are going to be the best
I grinned, and Kiwi dug its nose into my shoulder,
and all was right with the world.