Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 119,806,944 Issue: 242 | 2nd day of Relaxing, Y8
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Could YOU Be a Great Ruler? - Interviewing the Rulers

by shroomsrock101


Hi again, people, as you know already from “The Misunderstoods,” I am the Dark Shroomsy, better known as Shroomsy. *cheesy grin* Anyway, the reason I am back is to pose a question we all have probably thought about frequently - could I be a great ruler like Fyora or King Altador? Well, here is the answer.

I decided to interview these great rulers, along with more famous Kings and Queens, to get an idea of what characteristics a person would need to be a good and efficient ruler. After all, everyone has most likely wished to be a King or Queen at least once in their lives.

First of all, since I had to do the Faerie Crossword, I went to visit Fyora the Faerie Queen to find out why a good ruler needs certain important qualities. She was a bit busy, but willing to put down the paperwork and talk to me for the good of the Neopian people and their interests. Our interview went a bit like this.

SHROOMSY: So, Queen Fyora, why do you think you have been such a successful Queen?

FYORA: Well, I don’t believe I am that successful, my dear Shroomsy, but if I had to say anything about the traits that make me a “great Queen,” I would have to say that kindness, sympathy, and justice is the key.

SHROOMSY: I see. Why do you say that?

FYORA: Each trait has a very important place in governing an area or kingdom. First, kindness keeps citizens from wanting to rebel against cruelty, which is an extremely justified action. Sympathy makes the citizens feel needed, which is all most people wish to be. Justice plays a huge part in the law. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty... or something along those lines.

SHROOMSY (looking around, bored): Nice clock. This really is a great room.

FYORA: Thank you. I paid for it with the help of the citizens, which is... uh, a symbol of unity! Of course, um, we are all, uh, allowed to hold, um, uh, private meetings and, er, parties here!

SHROOMSY: Riiiiiiiight. Well, I have to leave now, so good bye!

FYORA: You’re going already? Aww, I don’t get much company in this dreary room all day!

SHROOMSY: I thought you said everyone in the city comes here!

FYORA: Uh... yes... they do, but I, um, am too busy to see them!!!!!

SHROOMSY: You were able to spare time to talk to me, though...

FYORA (exasperated): Just forget it.

Next I went easily to see King Altador, the Lupe whose kingdom is efficiently named after him. He had just commissioned the Royal Scribe guy to take inventory of the kingdom, so he had some free time, in which we spoke about how a ruler should govern his or her realm.

SHROOMSY: So... King Altador. How do you think every ruler should... uh, rule?

ALTADOR: Well, you should make absolutely sure that the citizens are perfectly happy in their lives. A good and sensible ruler appoints a cabinet to help him make good decisions that will uphold the realm.

SHROOMSY: What kinds of advisors should you have?

ALTADOR: First, you must have a Royal Advisor. He will collect information and agree or disagree with your ideas for laws and your decisions. This must be someone you absolutely trust. Second, appoint a Royal Scribe. He will take notes at court meetings and summits, and take inventory of the kingdom’s supplies. Also, you should have a Chief of Police, Head of Fire Dispatching, and an Army General.

SHROOMSY: Interesting. Are there any other positions?

ALTADOR: Oh, yeah. You should also have bodyguards. And people to polish your shoes and wash your garments. I believe they’re called servants and subjects.

After I left the Kingdom of Altador, I fell into the waters of the Neopian Ocean. So I swam down to Maraqua and asked King Kelpbeard some questions about law enforcement.

SHROOMSY: Excuse me, King Kelpbeard, but may I ask you some questions about enforcing laws within your domain?

KELPBEARD: Very well, I have time to spare. The city trip can wait.

SHROOMSY: The whaaa?

KELPBEARD: Oh, a city trip is when I swim around Maraqua and tell citizens how great our kingdom is and how well they are working. Motivate the citizens and they will be less likely to rebel.

SHROOMSY: That’s really cool. What if someone does do something wrong?

KELPBEARD: Then he... or she... should be exiled until they are proven innocent.

SHROOMSY: Some people disagree on that.

KELPBEARD: Some people don’t know what a kingdom is, let alone how to govern one!

Well, I caught a ferry from Mystery Island and arrived in the Lost Desert a few hours later to visit Coltzan’s Shrine. I mean, who better than the late King to ask some questions about what you should avoid doing as a ruler?

SHROOMSY: *ahem* Uh, King Coltzan III, I am calling you for your aid on a Neopian Times article! I would like to ask you some questions!

COLTZAN (appearing): Hello, young... oh, it’s you, Shroomsy.

SHROOMSY: Uh... heh heh, yeah... Listen, I’m sorry about the Tchea Fruit that SG threw. She was upset because we weren’t seeing a concert.

COLTZAN (grinning slightly): And...?

SHROOMSY (sighing): And the Cheops Plant too.

COLTZAN: Very well... you are forgiven. Now, what did you want to ask me?

SHROOMSY: Well, what would a competent ruler do to sustain his or her position as a King or Queen?

COLTZAN: I think that’s pretty simple. Don’t make enemies out of others, and always have a chemical test done on your food before biting into it!

Now, why don’t you take this quiz to see if you have the traits to be an amazing King or Queen or Emperor or Empress or whatever?

1. You have just founded your own kingdom. To help the citizens and yourself, what do you do?

a) Appoint your cabinet

b) Trade with other realms

c) Sit on your throne

2. Now that you have done that, what next?

a) Establish laws

b) Distribute food to the citizens

c) Think hard

3. Oh no! A fire has destroyed several homes! What do you do?

a) Give the families shelter

b) Console everyone

c) Pretend it’s fine

4. A citizen is unhappy with his position and his job. What do you do?

a) Offer him a better job

b) Give him a raise

c) Ignore him

5. What kind of castle do you build?

a) A large roomy one so there is room for families that need shelter

b) A small one - you want to live like everyone else!

c) Castle? What castle? Oh - okay, huge, like a castle should be!

MOSTLY As: You are a natural leader. You care about the people, but also tend to the business of yourself and your kingdom. You could be a King or Queen one day!

MOSTLY Bs: You are very kind. You care more about the people than yourself or the kingdom, and that could be destructive. However, the people would worship you, and you still might become a ruler!

MOSTLY Cs: You really don’t care about the public, do you? You couldn’t govern a paper bag, let alone a kingdom! Why don’t you study these tips again???

Well, do you have what it takes to be a great ruler? If you listen to this wise advice and put your own twists on it, I’m sure you will be great and successful one day! Until then, when I will be your subject, this has been Shroomsy, interviewing rulers about the thing they do best - rule.

This article was inspired by a Random Event Quest for the Faerie Queen. Thanks for that, TNT!!!

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