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Never Get Mad

by 4zure


On any normal morning, Xenon the Kyrii woke up to the alarm clock in his head; his body knew when it should be revved up for the day without any mechanical aid. Today, however, was April first. As long as he was living under the same roof as Azure, Arzaohe, Sierra, and Nasmi, he would never go a single April Fool's Day without some vexatious prank to pull his fur. Little did he know that the others had stepped aside and let Arzaohe take the reigns of his embarrassment today.

     Xenon had been sleeping peacefully when he subconsciously felt a draft coming in through his bedside window. His fur was rudely stirred when a warm, furry mass dropped onto him and began barking loudly.

     "Jack, let me sleep," he groaned as the little Anubis continued to make a pest of himself. He pulled his pillow over his head, but Jack was determined not to let his owner get his wish. He yanked the pillow away and roared in the Kyrii's ear.

     "AGH! Okay, I'm up, I'm up! Sheesh!"

     Much to his dismay, he found that he wasn't going to be getting up so easily. Countless miniature cups had been placed all around his bedroom floor, each filled with water. If he wanted to get out through the door, he'd have to drink his way to it. Deciding that he wasn't thirsty enough for that, he grumbled irritably as he climbed through his window ... only to step into a huge glob of tactically-placed toothpaste. He growled and wiped his feet on the grass before heading back inside for breakfast. He found everyone else already at the table, so he sat down and helped himself to a slice of a honey and wheat baguette and a bacon omelette.

     "Is something the matter, Xe?" Arzaohe asked innocently. "You look upset."

     Xenon only glared at her over his plate. She laughed. "Rough morning?"

     "You would know," he spat.

     "Aww, where's your holiday spirit? Why don't you ever get back at us? I'm sure you could cook up a great prank."

     Maybe I will, he thought to himself.

     A few weeks later, Xenon awoke bright and early to a chorus of tropical birds and crashing waves. Today was going to be lovely; he had invited Arzaohe to join him on a jaunt about the island. He quickly got dressed and joined everyone at the table for breakfast.

     "Ready to go?" he asked as Arzaohe brought her dirty plate to the kitchen several minutes later.

     "You know it," she replied with a grin. The Kyrii bid the others farewell and were on their way.

     It was a gorgeous day. The sun shone brightly in an azure-blue sky, but it wasn't hot. A gentle breeze whispered through the giant palm leaves above their heads, and the foliage cast greenish shadows upon the sand. The duo decided to start the day with a trip to the beach. The ocean murmured a welcome to them as they reached the seaside, a salty-sweet ocean spray caressing their faces. They splashed about in the advancing and retreating tide and searched for petpets in the tidepools. When they grew bored of that, they decided to stop by the haiku generator.

     "Hey there, Rorru!" Xenon greeted the Kougra. "What'cha got for us today?"

     Rorru eyed his visitors carefully and said:

     "Danger lurks, beware

     You will surely come to harm

     Should you be careless"

     "Er, thanks," Xenon said, backing off slowly. "We appreciate the... wisdom."

     "What was up with that?" Arzaohe asked once they were out of earshot. "His haikus are usually so nice. That was a nasty surprise."

     "I hear ya there," Xenon agreed. "Maybe he just ate a bad juppie this morning or something."

     They shrugged it off and made their way to the training school; some meditation would be very nice.

     "That'll be a Mau and a Bri for you and a Main for the lady," the Techo Master said as they signed up for their respective courses.

     "Shoot!" Xenon slapped his palm to his forehead. "I completely forgot about codestones! Stupid, stupid me."

     "Xenon, look!" Arzaohe said suddenly, pointing towards the ceiling. Punchbag Bob was floating several feet above them and glowing slightly. Before they could say anything more on the matter he suddenly came tumbling down to the floor below.

     "Okay, let's get out of here," Xenon said, examining Bob carefully. "We'll come back later with our codestones." He and Arzaohe said a quick goodbye to the Master and made tracks.

     "That sure was creepy," the female Kyrii commented as they made their way down the road, towards the cooking pot. "Maybe we'll get something good from Jhuidah."

     "Hello, strangers," the island faerie greeted them as they approached. "Do you have what the Pango Pango wants today?"

     "Only one way to find out," Xenon replied as he and Arzaohe dug through their pockets. They each produced a few items and decided on the three they would throw into the pot. The Kyrii each took the great spoon and swirled the mixture three times. Suddenly, the pot began to shake. Its contents hissed angrily and glowed bright red. Jhuidah gasped and ducked out of sight. As the pot began to boil over, something resembling a hand emerged from the concoction. Then, just as suddenly as it had started, the pot's wrath was quelled and all became eerily silent. Jhuidah reemerged from behind the pot with their items at hand. Trembling slightly, she gave them back. The Kyrii stole a glance at one another and wordlessly agreed to get the heck away from there.

     "Okay," gasped Arzaohe once they were a considerable distance away from the cooking pot, "I can safely say that I am very freaked out right now."

     "I second that," Xenon replied. "Ooh, but look where we are..."

     "Sweet Fyora, give me a break!"

     The two of them had wandered right into Geraptiku, and the less-than-inviting atmosphere of the place wasn't helping them to calm down at all.

     "Okay, maybe if we just-- what was that!" Arzaohe gasped. Xenon whipped around just in time to see what was scaring his companion; a phosphorescent figure had appeared from behind a tree several yards away. It growled and bared its fangs at them.

     "It's the Ghost Lupe! Run!"

     Arzaohe didn't need telling twice. She was out of there as quick as a flash. She ran and ran and ran, not even bothering to see if the spectre was really chasing her. She finally ran out of breath and collapsed next to the island arena. Several minutes later, she had finally calmed down enough to bring her breathing and pulse back down to a fairly normal pace. Xenon, however, was nowhere to be found.

     "Xe? Xenon, where are you? Xe-- AGH!"

     Xenon popped out from behind a post, laughing hysterically.

     "Oh, that wasn't funny!" she snapped.

     "Oh... yes... it was!" he gasped. "Everything... you fell... classic!"

     "What are you talking... hey!" Realization smacked her across the face. "It was you! Everything that happened was all your fault!"

     "You bet it was," Xenon said, wiping away tears of mirth, "But you brought it on yourself." He put on his best falsetto. "'Why don't you ever get back at us? I'm sure you could cook up a great prank.'"

     Arzaohe had to laugh. "Okay, you win. Can we call it even now?"

     Xenon grinned. "Absolutely."

     The Kyrii shook hands, then said the female, "So, elaborate. How did you arrange all this?"

     "I got everyone in on the joke," the male replied. "They all seemed keen on the idea of a group prank. Rorru made up that creepy haiku just for us, the Techo Master put Punchbag Bob on a fishing line and did something to make him glow like that, and Jhuidah created that gnarly effect at the cooking pot."

     "Who did you get to put on the Ghost Lupe costume?"

     "...I never arranged anything to do with the Ghost Lupe..."

     The Kyrii gulped and looked at each other. A feral howl ripped through the still island air.


     The Ghost Lupe snickered to himself as he watched Xenon and his companion run for all it was worth. "That's what you get for kicking my rear in the Battledome, punk."

The End

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